Carla's Song

All right?

- I want a word with you.

- All right, Victor. All right, doll.

All right, doll.

Oh, my,

that step's awful high.

- What are you having? - I'm going

to the Victoria to visit my sister.

- You want a long ticket or a short one?

- I've only got 25 pence.

I think you'll be cheaper with a

long ticket. Stick your money in there.

You hold onto that and take a walk

down to that first seat there. OK?

Nice and steady now.

I'll get this nice inspector here

to roll it up nice and tight for you.

All right, Victor?

There you go.

All right, pal.

That seems correct.

I don't know.

What the f***'s that?

I hope you're going to pay for that.

I'll make it up later.

- And what's this?

- What about it?

McGurk. He's down the road and he's

after your blood. Just give me that poster.

Be careful.

That's a work of art.

A work of art?

McGurk scratching his balls?

You've already got one suspension

under your belt, Picasso.

You just watch yourself.

I don't know.

I'm trying to keep you in a job.

All right, pal.

35, please.

All right, Inspector McGurk.

Tickets, please.

Ticket, please.

Your ticket.

I must see your ticket, please.

You show me ticket.

- You have no money?

- No money, no ticket.

No money. Look, it's an offence.

I can get the police here, you know.

- You understand police?

- No.

There must be something

that you have...

- I have nothing.

- You have no identification?

You're telling me you've got on the bus

with no money, no ticket, no identification?

This is ridiculous.

You must have some means of showing

me who you are, where you're...

Shylock, it's only 45 pence.

Leave the lassie alone.

- No, no.

- You take it, doll.

- No. I've got you this time, smartarse.

- Don't take it out on her.

- What's your name, Miss?

- She doesn't understand English.

- You listening? She doesn't understand.

- Get back to your cabin.

I'm not going to any f*** all cabin.

She doesn't understand.

I'll ask you one more time. What is your

full name? Give me your full name.

She can't even understand.

I'm telling you. You've got nothing to do

with this. Just you get back in your cabin.

Are you enjoying this?

Are you?

If you don't get back...

You're in trouble, son.

I'm in trouble?

I thought she was in trouble.

- Are you going to throw us a laugh?

- You're in trouble.

This is embarrassing.

These people know this.

- I think it's terrible.

- It is terrible, "hen".

Are you listening?

It's terrible.

- Just you get back in your cabin!

- It's only f***ing 45 pence.

- You f***ing miserable prick, you!

- Leave her alone.

It's disgusting.

Hey, darling, come on.

Thank you.

- Hey, calm down.

- Open that f***ing door!

Please calm... Watch your language

in front of the passengers, Mr McGurk.

Ho!

You f***ing baldy bastard, you!

- George.

- All right, Sammy boy.

What you been up to? He's waiting for you.

You going in like that?

- F***ing really.

- Catch a grip of yourself.

- Just get a wee bit smartened up.

- Who the f*** are you? Coco Chanel?

It'll be OK.

Thanks, Sammy.

- What the f***? Give us my...

- Hey! No smart answers, all right?

- Sammy, come on.

- Keep the trap shut, George.

Come in.

So the scratcher

got you at last.

"You big, constipated

miserable prick, you. "

I don't remember

saying constipated.

You don't want this job, do you?

I need it.

Like a hole in the head,

you need it.

Right, a week's suspension.

Next time you're out.

Why don't you give me

a shot on the motorbike?

- I'm fixing it the noo.

- That's what you said the last time.

I know, but it was

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