Career Opportunities

That wasn't

a store robbery.

That was an

assassination.

That wasn't a clerk.

That was a wise guy.

How do I know?

I spent a little time with

the FBI's organized crime unit.

You could say that

I'm intimately knowledgeable...

with the rancorous

workings of the Mob...

in the midwest section

of this country.

I know gangland slayings,

and that's exactly what this is.

I'd look into it personally,

but I got a date tonight.

Think I'll take the private jet

and fly to Spain,

pick up

the little lady,

do the subsonic tummy bump

at 30,000 feet...

then glide back into

the U.S. Of A. By dawn.

I know what you're gonna say:

"Jim Dodge, settle down.

Relax.

You owe it to yourself."

I'll tell you

what I tell everybody.

Any little frulein that

expects anything more from me...

than a little bit

of pleasure, danger...

and a great set

of pectorals,

she's looking for

a fall right on her ass.

- Hubie, Hubie!

- Let me tell you something.

If you know what's good for you,

don't you ever come back!

You're not gonna find someone

who has the relationship...

with those animals that I do.

Listen to the dogs.

They love me!

It all started

when I was 15.

That's when I invented

the artificial cow heart.

Oh, that was a big thing.

A little before your time,

but it made the newspapers.

ABC, NBC, CBS,

they picked up on it.

But it's more or less

a hobby for me, boys.

Scoot over!

Actually, today I decided...

I've gone about as far as I can go

in the animal health-care business.

The reason that I'm not

at work this afternoon...

is because I was made an offer

I cannot refuse. I sold.

Whatcha gonna do

with the cash?

Invest it overseas,

projects in Eastern Europe.

I don't know.

I've got everything.

Jim, you just bought

the animal hospital.

How come you

sold it so fast?

Tax problem.

And here's my

accountant right now.

Earl, take a bow.

Ha-ha-ha!

20 minutes for lunch.

Go buy another suit.

He works for me.

He's scouting some

real estate for me,

but the market's

real tight.

I like the new

uniform, Lorraine.

With the right

shoes and handbag,

that might be suitable

for a cocktail party.

So... question.

When in the worid are you going

to start serving sashimi?

Maybe when I find out

what it is.

You've never

heard of sashimi?

You've got

to be kidding.

It's this special

Japanese fish you eat raw.

A little

butter sauce,

and you're ready

to go to heaven.

I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't

already fired you so many times.

Did you ever think

of leaving town?

Thousands of people

over in St. Louis...

got no idea

how full of shit you are.

You've been alive for

21 years, my friend.

Plenty of time

for most people...

to find a place

for themselves.

Well, I'm not like

everybody else.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah, that's for sure.

How about if I...

I work for you

for free?

No.

I'm afraid not, Jimmy.

Think about St. Louis.

- Hey, Josie.

- Hi.

- Fill her up?

- Fill her up.

How you doin'?

You got fired again,

didn't you? Didn't you?

Who told you that?

- Hubie Marshall called me at work.

- He called you at work?

That's it, I'm gonna...

What'd he say?

He said

he fired ya!

He said that?

And you believed him?

Damn straight I do!

With all due respect, Dad,

you're Mr. Gullible. Sometimes.

The truth of the matter is,

Dad, I resigned.

- I'll tell you something else.

- Shut up, Jimmy!

I had no idea the job was

gonna be a hire/fire situation.

Luther Betenhauser's boy

is doing better.

- What's wrong with him?

- Fell off his grandfather's silo.

- He's got brain damage.

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