Cabin Fever

Hey, boy.

Hey, boy!

Come on, boy.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, fella.

- Whoo!|- Whoo!

No more f***ing finals!

Hey, don't do it!|Don't go to college.

It's a f***ing scam.|It f***ing sucks!

- Bert, got any more smokes?|- No.

Bert:
So I'm fat. So what?|I hope she's not anorexic.

Put her there, sport!

What's the matter?|Cat got your tongue?

- Jesus!|- God damn it, Dennis, no!

No, Dennis, no!

No, don't hit him|or anything.

Everybody knows not|to sit next to Dennis.

- He'll give you tetanus.|- Maybe you should make a sign.

There's a stream around back,|if you want to wash your hand.

I'll get you a towel.

Hey, pal,

do you think it's a smart idea|leaving your kid here

where he might be|a danger to people?

What are you saying exactly?

I'm just saying,|if such an incident

were to bring about a "lawsuit,"

- you might be held liable.|- Jeff, save it for law school.

Cute kid.

Hey.

What's your name?

Yeah!

Man:
If you're interested|in really good glasswork,

it's cheap,|but it's an antique.

Some of those bottles|up there

are dated|before the Civil War.

And over there,|I used to have-

in that empty space,|I used to have

some of the prettiest|Shirley Temple bottles I've ever seen.

And this woman came in here|with the palsy, the poor soul.

She thought|they were so cute,

and she reached for them|and knocked every one down

and broke them all|to damn pieces.

So I took her in the back and gave her|some coke and ammonia.

I thought she was|gonna have a spell.

We should get something|for your mom to say thanks.

How about some fox piss?

- My mom would love fox piss.|- Oh Lord, don't drop that.

If you do,|that's powerful stuff.

All the foxes around|would come down here.

You'd have friends|you'd never had before.

You all here for a vacation?

Jeff:
Yeah, we're renting|a cabin for a week.

That's nice. And if you go|in the woods...

- be very careful.|- Why, what's in the woods?

Tommy, get those kids|their sandwiches.

They're all wrapped up.

- So, what's the fox urine for?|- That's for foxes.

- What's the rifle for?|- That's for n*ggers.

Okay, let's see.|Let's give you those sandwiches now.

I think we're about ready|to get y'all out of here.

- That's $56 even.|- Okay.

Anything I can do|for you, friend?

No, I think that's...

Thank you.

You all have|a good vacation now.

- You too.|- Come back and see me.

Thanks a lot, man.|You have a nice day.

Jeff:
Did that guy|just say, "n*gger"?

Marcy:
Yeah, you|don't have to repeat it.

You can call it the "n" word.

Hey.

Boy, you want to give me|one good reason

why you would steal|a Snickers bar.

The nougat?

Sorry, man.|My bad.

All right. Enjoy.

Thanks.

What?

Moron.

Jeff:
|What's wrong with you, dude?

Bert:
Sorry.

I should burn his f***ing|store down, the racist f***!

- Marcy:
All right, make a left.|- Jeff: Here?

- Marcy:
Make a left.|- Jeff: Where else am I gonna go?

- Jeff:
Oh, and then down here...|- Bert: Stop the car!

Stop, stop!

I left my Mott's apple juice|back at the store!

- Women:
Oh my God.|- Come on!

- Paul:
No, we're not going back.|- Come on!

Paul:
I'm sure this river|is in the map, right?

Yes!

Paul:
There's no way|that this is on the map.

Karen:
It is on the map.|Do you want to look?

This map's for Cincinnati.

Karen:
Shut up.

Jeff:
Fine, f*** it.|We'll go this way.

Marcy:
|Oh my gosh. Wow.

"Welcome, y'all.

Enjoy your vacation|from all of us

at Bunyan Mountain Getaways."

Oh my God, Jeff,|check it out.

It's so cute- this little room,|this little bed...

lts view is so beautiful.

The view of the shrubs...

and the bush|and the antlers.

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