Synopsis: Leaving the ivy-covered walls of Yale behind, the privileged and intellectual Samuel sets out to discover the real world armed with books and a strong conviction of atheism. He goes to work at an apple orchard under an alias, but is thrust into a world he is wholly unprepared for with religious locals and untrustworthy co-workers. His sexuality and lack of faith will be tested as he learns to rely on strangers in a world that can't be taught in books and a classroom.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Production: Screen Media Ventures
  1 win & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

(FAINTLY) I said,

"You're goddamn right, I'm having this baby.

"I'm having this stinking piece of shit,

whether you want to be the daddy or not."

I said, "I'm done fucking around

with an old white-faced n*gger

"too busy chasing bush pussy

to get off his fat ass

"and get himself a job.

"You crawled out of your mammy's

old, tattered pussy

"and grabbed hold

of those milk-stained titties

"and ain't looked back once.

"So if you don't want this baby,

I'll find another son of a bitch

"who won't look at the world

through the slit of his shit-blistered,

"faggoty-assed, worm-sized dick."

(SHOUTS) Are you listenin' to me?



'Cause I don't want to be wasting

my words on nothing here.

So I said,

"You can suck the cream out of

my old granddaddy's cum-stained cock

"before I ever let you see the face

of this wrinkly-assed baby.

"And if it looks anything like you,

"I'll have that doctor saw off

his fucking head and use it as bait."

(SOBS) Can you believe,

that after all that shit

the bastard put me through,

he had the nerve to ask me

what I was planning on naming that baby.

Can you believe that?

Motherfucker, you try kicking me,

I'll come in there with a coat hanger

and give you something to kick about!


These last five hours...

I never thought I'd meet

someone like you here.

Me, too.



Come on. It's almost my stop.






You think you're gonna

learn something from that book?

Trying to.

I'll tell you something.

You really want to learn the truth,

there's only one place to do it.

The Chatham Correctional Institute.

It's the best fucking school

in this entire country.

-It taught me everything I know.

-I bet it did.

Hell, you could fill a racetrack

with every piece of shit ever written,

but you would still learn more

right here in this seat, talking to me.

I'm talking about the Lord.

Have you opened your heart up to Jesus?


Look, I'm going to spare you the effort.

I think that religion is meant for people

who aren't smart enough

to understand how the world really works.

And are so scared

of being small and insignificant

that they need someone to tell them

how special and important they really are.

Also, never having personally seen

a racetrack full of books,

-I'll take my chances.

-Oh, book...

You can go take your imaginary ghost

somewhere else.

-The Bible says...

-I know what the Bible says.

Well, then what's your problem with it?

It's poorly written.



So what do you do?

I'm a student.


You look a little old to be in school.

What grade are you in?

You wouldn't understand.

Speed, 50.



Cat in that car.





It's your stop.





Hi. We're not home right now,

so leave a message after the beep,

and we'll call you back.


Hey. It's me.

I'm only letting you know

I got here as a courtesy.

Mom, please don't try to reach me.

And don't try to say you're sorry.

I'm going off the radar for a while,

and (CHUCKLES) it's going to be amazing.

Maybe you'll hear from me at some point,

but you probably won't.



Is this Mrs. Hobbs?

-She's dead.



-She had cancer.

Now Ringo, there,

has got the same damn thing.

He's got tumors up his ass

the size of Bartlett pears.

(CLEARS THROAT) Let's see. David, right?

Uh, Samuel, actually.


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Kyle Patrick Alvarez

Kyle Patrick Alvarez (born 1983) is an American film director and screenwriter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"C.O.G." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 6 Apr. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/c.o.g._4901>.

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