Buzzard

---

Come on.

Geez.

This f***in' thing.

Fuckirf-

F***!

F***in' piece of sh*t.

F***in' piece of-

No, it's Persona 4. The same thing.

Why do I have to spend

every evening fishing...

when I could be studying for-

You knovv, increasing my stats and-

Can I call you back? That's awesome. Cool.

Yeah. No, dude. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

See you.

Hey, come on in. Sorry about that.

Little bit of, uh, afternoon business.

My name is James. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, I'm Marty.

So, Marty, they say you're looking

to close your checking account.

Yep.

Any specific reason

that you want to leave First Federal?

- Not really.

- Oh. Okay.

Just let me or one

of my team members know...

ifthere is anything that vve can do...

- to improve ourselves in the future, okay?

- Oh, totally.

And your last name, Marty?

Jackitansky. J-A-C-K-I-T-A-N-S-K-Y.

Oh, Whoa. "Y"?

- Did you say?

- Yeah. S-K-Y.

Okay, sorry.

Could you just start from the beginning?

J- A-C-K-I-T-A-N-S-K-Y.

K- Y. Is that Polish?

White Russian.

Most people think Polish.

Jackitansky. Yeah, that makes sense.

Well! Let's get the paperwork going.

- Got the day off today?

- On break.

Well, vve will make this quick and painless.

I dorft Want them to wonder Where you are.

No, that's cool, man.

They dorft even know that I'm gone.

Yeah.

Oh, man, I can tell you,

I feel the same Way on my lunch break.

No. I mean they think I'm still there.

I've been gone for, like, two hours.

Uh, so Where do you Work?

First Federal.

This building?

No. The branch clown on Washington,

Mortgage Department.

I'm a temp,

so they clon't keep track of us very well.

Okay. Oh.

Uh-

Yeah, let's get clown to business.

I'm just gonna need you

to sign a fevv things.

There we go.

Down at the bottom, please.

Just like that right clown there...

and signature and date.

Okay.

So hovv would you like

your remaining balance returned to you?

Cash or cashiefis check?

Cash is fine. Doesrft matter.

I'll just go get your balance

from one of the tellers.

Any specific Way you Want your money?

It really doesrft matter.

Okay. One moment.

Okeydokey. Here vve go.

We got 100, 200, 50, 55...

and 38 cents.

- That's yours. This one is mine.

- Great.

Is there anything else

that vve can do for you today?

Uh, yeah, actually.

All right. What would that be?

I'd like to take advantage

of your free-checking promotion.

I'm sorry. W-What's-

The sign on the Window says you get $50..

If you open a free checking account.

Well, there are stipulations.

You knovv, you can't just close one account

and open up another one.

Why not?

Well, first of all,

it doesrft apply to employees.

I'm a temp.

Well, then, uh...

do you know that you need your checking

account to stay open for six months...

or else there's a penalty?

There vvasrft a penalty

when you just closed mine.

And hovv long was it open?

Today I happen to be celebrating...

the six-month anniversary

of opening that account.

Wh-

Come on.

Come on, you-

This is a waste of my time.

Not mine.

You know you work for us'?

I'm a temp.

Doesrft look good at all.

It doesrft matter.

Th-There's also

a minimum deposit required...

to be eligible for the promotion.

Well, I happen to have $255.38 right here.

So-

Can I ask you once again What was vvrong with

your original checking account?

It's irrelevant.

So you're just trying to cheat the system.

Absolutely.

For $50.

Absolutely.

[Typing 1

Oh, my gosh.

Marty, you've been gone for like an hour.

Actually, Stacy,

ifs been more like three hours.

- Hey, did my supplies come in yet?

- No.

And I dorft believe

you vvere gone for three hours.

I'm not stupid.

Dude.

- Dude, check this out.

- What?

New music CD from my CD pal Tariq.

L- low long was that break, man'?

- Three hours.

- Three hours?

- You are gonna get busted, man.

- No, I won't.

What were you doing for three hours?

Man, I got the nuggets on three lives.

Oh, yeah, right.

You carft even get to 'em on 25 lives.

I did it, so suck it.

- That game's stupid anyway.

- No, ifs sweet.

You ready for this, man?

Come on.

I think this is gonna be something

you really like.

Okay, here we go.

Feel it for a second.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. Mmm. You like this?

Mmm. Kubes.

- Whatever. Sit clown, Kubiak.

- Sorry, Kubes.

Mmm. Mmm.

You dorft like this stuff, man?

- It's not my thing.

- Oh, dude.

- Come by at 5:
30.

- Why?

I brought in my subvvoofers from home.

- What, are you gonna party in the office?

- Oh, totally. Totally.

- Come by, dude.

- Yeah, sounds sweet.

It Will be.

Employee of the week nominations,

they just came out.

- Mm-hmm.

- I might be up, Carol said.

- Oh, cool.

- it'll be my fourth one in two years.

Wow.

You haven't been nominated once, dude.

- No, I haverft.

- If you get six of 'em in one year...

that's a 25-cent bonus.

- What do you think about that?

- I doh't care, man.

- I'm done with this crap job.

- You say that all the time.

No, but I mean it, man. I dorft need it.

I'm sick of Wasting my time here.

I can make money anywhere.

Oh, yeah, What, just like cheat McDonalcfs

for the rest of your life?

Well, I got bigger things-

Busy, guys?

Um, I am.

I dorft know about Marty though, so-

Oh, he's bothering me.

Good-bye, Derek.

Nice, dude. Butthole.

- I have an easyjob for you, Marty.

- Cool.

These came back as undeliverable...

so try to look these people up

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes