Brokedown Palace

They've scheduled the hearing

for the Burmese.

- Where are you going?

- They should have a copy.

You're crazy.

It's pouring out there.

I know.

I'm not sure where to start.

You're probably fast-forwarding already.

We shouldn 't be here.

We're from Ohio. A dinky

little town called Upland.

I'm Alice Marano.

My best friend is Darlene Davis.

- I don't know about Hawaii anymore.

- What?

It's like a bunch of tourists

on family vacations.

We met as babies, crawled to each

other on a neighbor's lawn.

That's what my mom used to say.

Get closer to your sister.

Teachers said I was the bad one,

Darlene was good.

We didn 't care. It was a joke to us.

We knew how we were.

It was always the two of us.

Doug, could you take

a picture of me and Alice?

Darlene was going to college.

We decided to have a knockout

trip together.

Celebrate our sorrows. After that...

...for the first time in our lives,

we wouldn 't be together.

So it had to be amazing.

Memorable.

Hawaii seemed so middle-class.

Like our parents ' version of fun.

I wanted it to be special.

Not that she would ever forget me.

Then someone mentioned Thailand.

It was as simple as that.

Strange how little things

make big things happen.

Ferg told us his brother spent

a summer in Bangkok for under $500.

I learned that Thailand means freedom.

A country named after

the exact thing we were looking for.

- I thought you wanted to go.

- I do. It's my dad.

- You're so afraid of him.

- He's already being a dick...

...about my off-campus apartment.

Now I'm going to Bangkok.

- What'd you tell your dad?

- I said you were going, he said okay.

He doesn't care anyway...

...as long as I still have

my exciting career.

Just don't tell your dad.

Let him think we're in Hawaii.

It's only 11 days.

How's he gonna find out?

Dar worried about lying

for nine hours of the flight.

By the 24th hour,

she was too tired to care.

It took forever to find the hotel.

Funny what forever used to feel like.

This is it?

- Doesn't look royal.

- How much royal do you want for $6?

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- What is it?

- Oh, God!

It's a huge roach!

Thais have so much respect

for their monarch...

...that up until

Rama III changed the law...

...no one could utter

His Majesty's name.

Buying and then releasing

captive animals...

...is also considered meritorious.

A number of vendors around Bangkok

sell birds for this purpose.

- God, enough with this heat.

- Exactly.

I'm tempted to jump in the river.

How bad can raw sewage be?

They dump human waste, bathe

and drink, all in one river.

Give me that geek book.

Tell me you brought a bathing suit.

- But I'm not going in there.

- Come here.

What if we're caught?

Go in like you own the place.

Welcome to first class.

Something to eat or drink?

- Two of those, please.

- What room number?

- We'll just pay cash.

- 414.

Come on. They don't care.

Lotion.

Thank you.

That's me.

I'm gonna be her.

I'm her divorce lawyer.

- I want both houses and the nanny.

- You've got to have her.

- The girls are crazy about Helga.

- Let's make him pay.

Damn right.

Exactly.

You say room number 414?

414? That man number 414.

I was sure...

Oh, it's 416. I'm sorry.

- You stay here?

- Our room's up there.

What's your name?

This is really inappropriate.

Our room...

God, it's right up there.

- What's your name?

- Room 333.

Bloody hell, I can't take

you two anywhere.

Sorry, mate. It's been a bit

of a blur of hotel rooms.

- Cheers.

- Thank you.

I've got to shoot through.

You're scared straight now?

Excuse me.

- We'll pay you back.

- No worries, it's fine.

- Can we get you a drink?

- It's the least we could do.

Okay.

I'll take it for the wanker in 333

who left his key in the men's room.

Come on.

But the man said it was solid wood.

What?

Oh, great.

Don't worry. You're in the fake Rolex

capital of the world.

- Some look better than the real ones.

- So you're new in town.

- Where are you from?

- Australia. But I'm never there.

I do seminars for a software

company all over Asia.

I do bugger all most days.

Getting paid to sun-bake.

I'd kill for a gig like that.

Oh, God. Quick, eat rice.

It makes it go away.

Eat more. It's like...

...your mouth's gonna explode.

Nobody's laughing.

Come on. Have some more.

- You forgot your drink.

- I've had enough.

Beautiful night, isn't it?

Yeah.

Is this okay?

Are you okay with it?

Why would I care?

He's cute. Go for it.

Take notes. I want details.

I didn't know if you had keys.

- Where are you going?

- To the market. Coming?

No, I've got to get some sleep.

Sure. Okay.

- He wants to take us to Hong Kong.

- Us?

For the weekend.

He has to go on business and...

Oh, God. Alice, it was great.

And weird. And intense.

- I'm not going to Hong Kong.

- It's just a day or two.

- The flight's only two hours.

- What about the beaches?

Please?

I really like him.

Then go. I'm not mad.

But I'm not going.

Go. Have a great, weird time.

Don't I always do sh*t

like this for you?

Please?

Okay, Dar.

I like the black one.

It's nice. It suits you.

Did Darlene tell you about Hong Kong?

Yeah, she might have.

I'm flying out there this afternoon.

You guys can fly out tomorrow.

I'll get all my business done...

...then we can just have a good time.

Come on. I want you to come.

I've made the ultimate sacrifice.

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