Brewster's Millions

Synopsis: In order to inherit $7,000,000, an ex-soldier must spend $1,000,000 in two months' time.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Allan Dwan
Production: United Artists
79 min

We got one to go! One out to go!

All right!


He just saved your ass, Brewster.

Come on, Rudy.

- Foul ball!

- Aw, foul ball!

Aw, you almost had that. I bet

you feel like a big piece of shit.

Talk all you want, Porky.

Here we go, Monty. Ready to push.

Throw it in to Porky!

Foul ball!

- It's OK, Rudy.

- You want him to pitch underhand?

- I'm lettin' my bat do my talkin'.

- Oh, the bat's got the brains?

- Play ball.

- I just wanted to figure it out.

I wanna know who's got

the brains in the family.

- Time out!

- Time out?

It's all right. Take it easy,

don't lose your concentration.

A goddamn train's comin'

through the outfield!

There's a guy up there

in the bleachers, front row.

He's got a camera. He's been takin'

pictures of me for the last three games.

- I think he's a scout for the big leagues.

- Monty, this is Hackensack, New Jersey.

No scout comes here, you understand?

A train's goin' through the outfield,

but you strike this guy out,...

..l'll take you with me

tonight and get you drunk.

Two out. Two! Two!

Two out. He makes it three.

Look at him. He's a little rag arm!

Dial up on him, baby.

Knock it a long distance for me.

- Hey, old man. Getting a little tired, huh?

- Get back to T-ball, buddy.

Strike three. You're out!

Big win. Yeah! All right!

I'm a Gypsy. That's why

I'm not gonna bullshit you, OK?

I'm not gonna see you next year cos

I'm gonna be playing for the big leagues.

- Really?

- That's right.

I dunno what team, but

you'll see me on television...

..and you'll say "I know that guy."

"That's the guy that wanted to date

me but, no, I was too stupid."

Jake here. I'm in Hackensack.

Pretty much the same picture. He was out

drinkin' till 3.30 in a bar last night,...

..then he picked up a girl,

took her back to the hotel.

I figure tonight's agenda looks the same.

He's out celebrating his victory.

He was the winning pitcher today.

Right now you're playing

for Hackensack,... why are you running

around in a Cubs jersey?

A Cubs jersey? What number's that?

- It says "35".

- That was my number in the Cubs.

They were the only big-league team

smart enough to take me on.

Is he a good pitcher?

Well, he's enthusiastic.

Kinda like a kid in a candy store.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Cold beer here. Cold beer.

There you go. Sorry I'm late. Allow me.

- Attractive

- Thank you very much.

- Look, just keep your eye out for Rudy.

- He doesn't exist. There is no Rudy.

Yes, sir. I'll break the news

to him tomorrow morning.

No, sir. I won't lose sight of him.

Let me tell you something about

athletes. After a game, we gotta relax.

We gotta come down, unwind.

My doctor told me. He said "Brewster,

man, get a massage. Come down."

We read in a medical journal

left in the locker room... article written by

this Oriental doctor on massages.

We in the West give a massage like this.

And, see, all the energy coming from

my hands is stopped by the fabric.

Apparently we in the West don't know

that and we're massaging for nothing.

So his theory, and I dunno,

it's just a theory,... if you're nude and you get

a massage, that's the best thing for you.

- Good for your muscles, nude.

- Maybe you'd like to try it with us?

- The four of us nude would be great.

- That would be fun.

Massaging each other.

- I think they're kinda cute.

- This one's especially cute.

Either of you guys got a car?

- Got a bus.

- The team bus.

- Bigger than a car?

- Oh, much bigger and more fun,...

..because he's a partymeister himself.

Why don't we start in a bus?

Let's try the bus.

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Sig Herzig

Sig Herzig (July 25, 1897 – March 12, 1985) was an American screenwriter and playwright. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Brewster's Millions" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 26 Jan. 2020. <>.

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