Breaking Up

From the start it was good.

In the beginning, it was really good.

When it first started, we...

First started seeing each other,

going out together...

...just the two of us, doing things.

Well, it always is.

- Isn't it always that way?

- Isn't it?

- Christ. The energy we had.

- The fun we had.

The times we spent.

- Doing nothing sometimes.

- Doing everything.

- It didn't matter what we did.

- Anything.

- It was just so good.

- It was like a drug.

Every day, whatever I was doing,

the whole world was beautiful.

Everything that didn't make sense

before, all of a sudden...

It was being alive again.

It was like I'd been dead,

and now I was alive again.

Hope, I guess. That's what it was.

Belief.

Believing in everything

again, you know?

I liked the way I looked.

I stopped checking the scale.

- I stopped smoking. I stopped smoking.

- I stopped punishing myself.

- I felt good about myself.

- I felt like I could do anything.

I used to get so excited

I would shake.

Every time I knew

I was going to see him...

...there was, like, this electricity

coming out of me.

You know, people would say:

"What's going on? You look great.

What've you been doing?"

- I was on a roll.

- I was strong.

I was relaxed.

I was like a pig in sh*t.

- Everything came together suddenly.

- All the loose ends.

- All the fear. All the anxiety.

- Sometimes...

...you don't even know

you're in pain until it goes away.

- And then the relief.

- The joy.

- When I saw him...

- I laid eyes on her...

- I knew.

- Right away.

- This was it.

- Really it.

When it starts that good,

there's no place to go except bad.

- Why be so difficult?

- Because I want to know.

- Bullshit!

- What are we doing?

What we're doing? What you're doing

is leaving, going. Go!

- I'm not going.

- Go.

- We're supposed to be talking.

- We are talking.

- No, we're not talking!

- Okay, then. We'll talk.

We'll talk.

Talk. Talk.

Talk!

Go on.

- You really make me sick.

- Thank you very much.

If I eat, I want to throw up.

If I don't eat, I get a headache.

If I sleep, I have nightmares.

If I don't sleep, I get depressed.

I can't move.

I'm stuck on a chair just going over

every word...

...and it makes me even sicker.

- This is a conversation?

- I'm trying!

I have 57 vegetables waiting to have

their picture taken.

- I work.

- Right. Parlez-vous franais?

- Teaching, it's very hard work.

- Sure.

- I'm taking that class tomorrow.

- Aerobics?

No, Flaubert and the

Domestic Enslavement of Women.

Or, Does a Person with a Penis

Have to Be a D*ckhead?

That's perfect. You should pass.

That's right.

Shut up!

Can you drop me

where you found me?

As soon as this damn traffic

starts moving.

- I'm sorry. I am.

- Me too.

- I didn't mean it.

- No, me either.

- It's just...

- I know.

- Sometimes...

- I know.

I think we should stop

seeing each other.

I mean, what is it, two years?

Two and a half years.

What's the point?

Two and a half years.

What have we been doing?

I don't know anymore.

I don't know what to do, okay?

Try.

We're supposed to try.

We are supposed to make

some kind of an effort.

Something goes wrong, you walk.

What is that?

I don't want to see you

anymore either, but I see you.

Who says we want

what we think we want?

We want what we think we're supposed

to want, things books tell us to want.

That's what I wanted.

Happy.

Happy, happy, happy.

Sh*t like that, okay?

We didn't get that.

That's the end of that.

It's not the end of us.

It's the end of a dream.

You wake up in the morning,

and the dream is over. So what?

I'm still here. You're still here.

We're still here.

Okay?

Yeah.

So maybe we should...

- Maybe we should not see each other.

- That's what I said.

She doesn't want you to call.

If she wanted to talk, she'd call you.

What am I going to say? Hello?

Hello is good.

Hi, it's me.

Hello, it's me.

Hi, Monica, it's me, Steve. Jesus.

Hey.

Hi, remember me?

Christ, just...

Just do it. All right?

I thought I'd drop in and say hi,

but I thought I should call.

Check if you're in, if it's okay,

that you haven't got anybody...

...with you or anything,

that you're by yourself.

I don't know.

I've been going out a lot lately.

No, actually I've been... No.

I've been going out. I'm working.

Going out. Working.

I've been going out and working.

I've been seeing lots of women.

Monica. Okay.

Yeah, it's that time of year again.

I'm photographing lima beans.

Yeah, they're beautiful.

Why don't you call me,

for f***'s sake?

Hey, you want to go out?

I don't know, we could

go to a restaurant...

...go to a movie, eat something.

Go out. Out, out, you know, out. Okay?

I'd like to see you.

Yeah, it'd be nice to see you.

Don't you think?

Wouldn't it?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I don't know, I just...

Just to see you, you know? Come on.

No, no, I just... No.

I mean, just see you, okay?

No, I just...

Yeah.

Look, I know we're not supposed to see

each other. I know what we said.

Yeah.

I'm not forcing you. Okay?

I'm not forcing you.

How could I force you?

I'm just saying...

I'm saying...

Look, I'm saying... I've said it. I...

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right. All right.

Jesus. All right, now, look, I'm sorry

I called, okay? Don't worry about it.

No, no.

No, no.

No, it's not important.

Okay?

I told you.

I told you why I called, okay?

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