Boy Culture

Synopsis: A successful male escort describes in a series of confessions his tangled romantic relationships with his two roommates and an older, enigmatic male client.
Genre: Drama, Romance
Director(s): Q. Allan Brocka
Production: TLA Releasing
  9 wins.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
56
Rotten Tomatoes:
71%
UNRATED
Year:
2006
88 min
Website
257 Views


This story my story is a confession.

Lucky for you, they're the hottest of all stories.

Ask any priest.

He might tell you to watch and learn from my sins.

Or maybe you'd rather sit back and wait for the dirty parts.

Be my guest.

I'm not Catholic, but I've met enough priests

to know one thing about confessions:

they're always anonymous.

So in the spirit of anonymity, call me X

All this drama started about a year ago.

I'm on my way to work. Not looking for anything.

Honestly, you don't know me yet.

To the average transit rider it appears

I'm cruising a random hottie.

But this is no random hottie.

He was in my Abnormal Psych class back at U. W.

Thing is, I hadn't found him remotely arousing in school.

But now Blondie looked different.

Actually, he looked the same,

I just looked at him differently.

I was feeling something I hadn't felt since seventh grade.

Forgive me Father, I felt lustful.

Don't worry, this doesn't end with me in his beefy arms--

although I do spend a few choice moments in them.

This isn't really about him at all.

It's about me.

And

And I'm late for work.

If you're smart you've guessed I'm a hustler.

If you haven't, here are two clues:

I'm gay and they made a movie about me.

Try to keep up.

I'm not your typical picture-in-the-back-of-the

fag-rag hustler.

I work by referral only.

And I charge a lot.

Supposedly I'm worth it.

I keep my client list to a trim twelve regulars

who have the resources to accommodate my lifestyle.

I think of them as my disciples.

There's The Judge

Mr. Jowls

Chaps

Daddy's Boy

Gin Martini

The Accoun tant

Father of Six. . .

The Mummy. . .

Screamer. . .

Bruce Lee. . .

Breath Mints. . .

and Barely Breathing.

Unfortunately for me, Barely Breathing

stopped breathing last week.

It wasn't even natural causes like you'd think.

So, lucky for Gregory, that leaves an opening.

He's supposed to be some old recluse.

A geezer.

That'll be his name.

Geezer.

The old gays depress me sometimes.

Not because l'm getting old myself,

but because of the sh*t they had to go through

to get where they are.

Which is often nowhere.

You must be X.

Of course at the time he used my real name.

Well, my real hustler name.

Anyway this is just for the movie.

To protect the innocent.

Thanks for saving me from an afternoon

of Judge Judy.

Great view.

When the University bought the building, only a few

of the original tenants stayed .

The smart ones .

The rich ones .

I think I like this one.

My sense of humor and kind a hot.

For seventy-nine.

I graduated from here.

Ah, I've often wondered what became of our illustrious alumni

I'm not sure I'm typical .

I suspect not.

I wasn't sure what you'd want.

Water's all I need .

Only accept drinks that are factory sealed.

Tell me about your life.

I want to know the course our romance will take.

Romance?

He objects to the term romance

Probably doesn't kiss .

Very Klute.

Surely a lad of your experience--

what are you, thirty?

Twenty-five.

Well, surely you realize no real sex is possible

without some degree of romance.

We'll see.

A man who knows the price of everything

and the value of nothing

Thank you, Oscar Wilde.

Bet that surprised you too, cute and smart.

But he's a whore, there must be something wrong with him

Eat me.

Do you enjoy chocolate?

These range from fifty to ninety percent purity.

The ninety is too intense for words .

You've never been in love?

Unless you count my cousin when I was twelve.

That counts.

I still remember when I first told a man I loved him .

I can imagine.

Look, it's cool chatting, but it's in your

best interest to let me know what you'd like to do .

A visit usually takes an hour.

An hour?

Hardly worth showering .

Patience, my boy.

Our time will come.

But not until you desire me as much as I desire you .

Never had a check bounce, never been stiffed.

Normally I don't take the let's just talk clients.

They're the ones who get clingy.

Who act like they own you and get all Jeffrey Dahmer.

I prefer to f*** their brains out,

take my money and split.

But there was something interesting about Gregory,

besides the size of his check.

As much cash as I bring in,

I still have two roommates because--

Who's that?

Joey? !

Andrew?

That was yours?!

Andrew.

That's who this is really about.

I'm not normally into black guys,

but Andrew's hotter than the seventh plane of hell.

I could tell he wanted me a little

But we'd lived together a year now,

and nothing more than an occasional flirt passed between us.

Okay maybe he didn't want me but --

I'm obsessing over my roommate.

But Andrew's like, boyfriend material.

Not for me of course, but for somebody.

Who was he?

What's that?

It's Jill

She's

Jill was his evil ex-fiancee.

I only thought she was evil because she'd done him

and I

I hadn't.

Was the b*tch dead?

Is she dead?

Jesus ! No !

She's getting married .

You should a seen your face.

I was just being aghast out of respect.

So what happened with the smoked ham back there?

Nothing

Right

Seriously, I got the letter and kind a got out ta the mood .

You were in the mood?

We met on the bus, he offered .

He's totally hot. Why not?

In the year he lived here, Andrew only hooked up with one guy

and they just jacked off so it did n't really count.

Because you're not a slut.

I thought that was one of Joey's .

Maybe I was horny.

Why should it matter to you?

I hate you.

I guess I gave you more credit than you deserved .

Oh, that's priceless coming from you

And thereinlies my problem folks.

A hustler with morals.

A whore who is not a slut.

Outside of work, I haven't had sex, mutual masturbation

or otherwise since I was twelve.

And that was only once.

Sometimes I consider myself a virgin, since I was

a minor when it happened.

In school I knew three Mormon girls who swore any

activity on the planet that didn't involve breaking

their hymens left them virgins.

Why haven't I had sex?

I'm saving myself for someone I love.

Okay.

Let's play the X-is-a-prostitute game.

Nothing I say means anything because

I'm just a prostitute.

I don't need a hooker calling me a slut.

If you guys don't f*** soon, I'm going to slit my wrists !

And Joey makes the family complete.

We met a year ago when my accountant suggested

I get roommates to keep the IRS off my back.

Joey was the first to respond.

But he had a GED, so he wasn't a total loser.

He comes in and asks to live ren't-free.

I agreed.

Sh*t, I'm only human.

He's hit on me every day since.

My speech impediment is because of my extra long tongue.

But he is so not right for me

in so many ways.

I mean first off until last week he was a minor.

You're worse than all of my parents,

but not as old .

Okay guys, check this out!

Out to my room !

See the guy outside the cafe?

He's way cute up close.

It's Scooter.

The Scooter?

Yeah

He just started there.

Who's Scooter?

My back-up plan .

The boy Joey ruined

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Matthew Rettenmund

Matthew Rettenmund (born December 25, 1968) is the author of the novels Boy Culture and Blind Items: A (Love) Story, as well as the non-fiction books Encyclopedia Madonnica, Totally Awesome '80s, and Hilary Duff: All Access. He was the founding Editor in Chief of Popstar! Magazine from October 1998 until May 2012. He currently works at Telepictures in New York. Rettenmund grew up in Flushing, Michigan and after he graduated from the University of Chicago, he moved to New York City, where he still lives. His novel Boy Culture was adapted into an award-winning movie in 2006. He has blogged at BoyCulture.com since November 2005. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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