Botoks

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INSPIRED BY ACTUAL EVENTS

My hip hurts,

take me to the hospital.

Don't let them examine you;

they might find something

Stay home, mom, you'll be ok.

I'll make you some herbal tea.

Hold onto me.

Hey, moron.

I'll give you fucking moron.

Sonny.

Mom kicked the fucking bucket.

Oh f*ck, daddy.

I guess we drink today.

Daniela, Darek, your dad went in

the street and was hit by a car.

Dad?

Dad.

Please don't shake him. Lay him

flat and stabilize his head.

F*ck off, faggot.

Let's cover him up.

He's got the fucking shakes.

Darek, bend his head back.

Give me your phone.

I need to make a call.

Not like that, you'll choke him.

What's the emergency number?

999, I guess

- Hello.

- He's dead.

No, nothing now.

We almost saved him.

Maybe I could be a paramedic.

Crew number 3 to 21 Arbuzowa Str.

I can't open it, help me.

Because?

I can't move.

Come through the window, hurry.

Hold onto that doggie.

We got it on, and I clamped.

You need to go to the hospital

with that clamped vulva.

Get the stretcher, doc.

Ania?

Darek, you're a doctor?

You barely graduated.

Medicine's like the movies.

I bought my degree.

You wouldn't show it to me in

high school, so I'll see it now.

Don't let my father in here, please.

He'll kill me.

- What's going on here?

- Don't go in, your daughter's ill.

- Ania, what's going on?

- Leave dad, they can't examine me.

What's this?

Ok, hold her boyfriend down.

We have to put them on a stretcher.

F*ck!

I've heard that now

they can sew fingers back on.

I'm not looking for it.

F*ck it, four are enough.

Ask her boyfriend to

cough it back up.

Got a guy with a head injury, not

making contact.

Repeat, no contact.

No contact? What the f*ck?

What happened to him?

They beat the shit out of him, stole

his phone, so we can't contact him.

The guy's hopped the twig.

Here's the hangman.

F*ck, look at these hot shoes.

My size, I'm taking them.

Got a child that fell off

a second-story balcony.

- What's his name?

- Sylwus.

Sylwus, look.

Sylwus.

Bam, bam, bam...

Bam, bam, bam...

A Matchbox car.

Look, bam, look...

It's ok, look a Matchbox car.

Come on.

He's all right.

The dude shoved a four meter phone

cable up his dick into his bladder.

A fucking champ.

Did you want to contact

the phone company?

Give me some Pavulon.

This must be the worst day

of your life, huh?

Because I met that bitch.

A woman reports her husband and

son have drowned in a lake.

You have to certify the deaths.

Gone to St. Peter.

Gone to St. Peter.

She's in fucking despair, but I'm

running out of fucking Dizol.

Ok, we've confirmed the deaths

of Pawel and Marcin.

Marcin's right here alive.

That's Maciek.

I'm sorry, kid.

Some queer shoved a bottle

of shampoo up his ass.

It's out.

- Where's the bathroom?

- There.

F*ck, it's still foaming.

Rotavirus.

The ambulance crew,

completely drunk.

- Stop them!

- Hey!

Stop! Stop!

I'm pregnant with Arek.

I'm moving in with him and

starting over fresh.

That really ticks me off.

Darek, hon, we'll invite you over.

That's not our uncle.

Daddy told you a bunch of shit.

5 months later

Arek doesn't want me.

I take up too much room.

I'm not going back to live in

that dive with my brother.

I guess I have to change my life.

My neighbour's going to England

to look after her grandchild.

I'll ask if I can rent

her flat cheaply.

Five flowerpots in every corridor.

And after the inspection, sir?

Throw them out.

I don't want to see patients in

such condition during the visit.

What should we do with them?

Put them in a locked ward.

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