Book Club

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1

[Diane] This is

how it started.

Four best friends and a book.

Vivian was the one

who had the idea.

She'd seen it in a magazine,

and it was that

very first book

that gave her

a lifelong philosophy.

[man] You know what

I find sexiest about you?

Do tell.

You don't need me.

[Vivian]

I don't need anyone.

It's the secret

to my success.

[Diane]

And successful she was.

The hotel we were standing

in front of... [scoffs]

...she owns.

And ten years later,

she tore it down

and built a new one.

[desk clerk]

Good morning, Miss O'Donnell.

[chattering]

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I'll call you back.

[men chattering]

Slim?

[Diane] This is Arthur.

The first time they had sex

was on a mix board.

They were madly in love.

He proposed.

She said no.

He left town.

[gasps] My, oh, my.

Arthur Riley.

What's it been, 40 years?

That's impossible. That

would mean I was only six.

- Still a wiseass, huh?

- [chuckles] Yeah.

Old habits die hard.

I got to get back

to this meeting, but, uh,

are you going to be

in town for a while?

I would hope so.

I do live here.

I'll find you.

It's good to see you, Slim.

[Diane] Now, Sharon

was Vivian's roommate

as an undergrad at Stanford.

- Then she went to law school.

- [gavel bangs]

Of the 301 people

in her graduating class,

62 were women.

Of the 62,

one became a federal judge.

He's on the phone now?

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're going to take

a five-minute recess.

All rise.

This court will stand

in recess for five minutes.

No, no, no.

You're never interrupting.

How is Hawaii?

You got en... engaged?

Why? I mean, wow!

I didn't mean "why,"

I meant "wow." Wow.

Well, if I sound judgmental,

that...

That's a professional hazard.

Who's Cheryl?

[inhales] Oh, I didn't know

your father was seeing someone.

Good for him.

And you. Good for both...

Congratulations all around.

Yeah.

[Diane] In 1985,

Sharon married Tom

because he made her laugh.

By 1999, she was

no longer laughing.

And the final straw came

when Tom asked her

what "Don Quix-ote" was about.

The marriage ended

and Sharon bought a cat.

[cat meows]

[Diane] Carol put herself

through culinary school,

working as a waitress

at a diner.

She had two goals in life:

one, to own and operate

her own restaurant,

and two, to marry the man

of her dreams, Bruce Colby.

Since the moment they met,

they've not been able to

keep their hands off each other.

- [squeals] Ooh!

- Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

[Carol] Dance lessons!

- Oh.

- Yep.

- Wow.

- Yes.

Because the No Kid Hungry

fundraiser

is a talent show this year

and I signed us up.

- To be in the talent show?

- Yes!

I thought it was something fun

we could do together

now that you're retired.

Now this is gorgeous!

- Oh!

- Eargasms!

Yeah, I got us both a pair.

Multiple Eargasms.

Who does not love that?

Well, no, it's so you can watch

TV in bed without disturbing me,

and my snoring

won't keep you awake.

- Huh?

- That's very thoughtful.

What do you say

we get home and...

- I say yes.

- Yay.

[Bruce snores]

[snores louder]

[Diane] And then, there's me.

I didn't know what my path

was going to be,

and then it hit me,

with a wave of nausea.

Because of this guy,

Harry Whittaker.

We got married,

and I became a...

- [woman] Mom!

- [Diane] What?

[woman] Stop already.

What? No!

I just need to clear the caulk.

- Clear the caulk?

- Yes.

There's a cute little ladybug

trying to get out the window.

Okay, someone's been watching

way too much HGTV.

- Huh?

- Mom, put the screwdriver down.

What?

- Mom.

- Uh-huh?

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