Bo Burnham: what.

Synopsis: A musical stand-up comedy show by Bo Burnham, the famous internet musician.
Actors: Bo Burnham
 
IMDB:
8.5
TV-MA
Year:
2013
60 min
198 Views

- Bo.

- What?

- I bet you can't do this.

- Old MacDonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

And on his farm,

he had a pig

E-I-E-I-O

With a [pig snort] here

And a [pig snort] there

And Old MacDonald

had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

[cheers and applause]

- This is Bo Burnham.

He's 22 years old.

He's a male.

And he looks like

the genetic product

of a giraffe having sex

with Ellen DeGeneres.

He has a gigantic head

and tiny nipples.

He's isolated himself

over the last five years

in pursuit of comedy

and, in doing so,

has lost touch with reality.

You're an asshole, Bo.

You hear me?

You think you know better

than me.

You think you know better

than everybody.

You will die alone.

And you will deserve it.

But in the meantime,

you might as well

tell those silly jokes of yours.

See if that helps.

[hip-hop music]

[cheers and applause]

- You used to do comedy

When you felt

like being funny

But now you're contractually

obligated

So dance,

you f*cking monkey

Dance, monkey, dance

Welcome to the show

This is Bo,

this is his show

And Bo wants

to dance like this

Welcome to the show

This is Bo,

this is his show

And Bo takes off his pants

like this

Play an invisible drum

Play an invisible trumpet,

trumpet sound

Drink some invisible water

Oh, shit,

that water's real

Bo wants to make

you feel comfortable

Bo wants to make

you feel comfortable

Random voice

Bo wants to make

you feel comfortable

So sit back, relax

And enjoy a healthy dose

Of prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Prolonged eye contact

- Lick your lips

to make it more comforting

Do you want to see

a magic trick?

Do you want to see

a magic trick?

Do you want to see

a magic trick?

Then pick a card, any card

Psych.

Magic isn't real, you idiot

- Read a book

- Magic isn't real,

you idiot

- Read a book

- Magic isn't real,

you idiot

- Read a book

- Magic isn't real

Or is it?

And at that moment,

Bo's 20-year-old cynicism

melted into childlike wonder.

He never knew there could be

so much magic in the world.

It's a world

of possibilities, Bo.

What do you want to do first?

Run?

Yeah, sure, you can run.

Fly?

Oh, yeah, you can fly.

What?

What are you--

What the f*ck

are you do--

what the f*ck are you doing?

Stop. Stop it.

What the f--

You f*cking idiot.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Anyways, in the distance,

Bo saw a beautiful fairy,

a fairy so beautiful

that he felt proud about being

called one in high school.

He then came

across an old bridge

with a troll standing guard.

Bo knew that he'd have to answer

a riddle to get by.

The troll spoke thus:

"All right, for the last time,

man, I'm not a troll.

"I'm homeless.

"Okay, do you have

any spare change?

"Okay, that's a used napkin.

"I don't want that.

"No, no, stop.

Just--you know what? Leave.

Just leave.

Please leave."

And then...

as Bo arrived on the other side

of the stage,

he saw a unicorn with five horns

right in front of him.

And the pentacorn spoke thus:

"Hello, Bo.

I've been looking for you

for quite a long--"

[gunshots]

[gun clicks, cartridge thuds]

[gun clicks, gunshots]

He was safe for now.

Rate this script:(3.00 / 1 vote)

Bo Burnham

Robert Pickering "Bo" Burnham (born August 21, 1990) is an American comedian, musician, actor, filmmaker and poet. He began his performance career as a YouTuber in March 2006, and his videos have been viewed over 228 million times as of June 2018. Burnham signed a four-year record deal with Comedy Central Records and released his debut EP, Bo Fo Sho, in 2008. His first full-length album, Bo Burnham, was released the following year. In 2010, Burnham's second album was released, and Words Words Words, his first live comedy special, aired on Comedy Central. His third album and second comedy special, what., was released in 2013 on his YouTube channel and Netflix. Burnham finished first overall in voting in 2011's Comedy Central Stand-up Showdown. His third stand-up comedy special, Make Happy, was released exclusively on Netflix on June 3, 2016.In addition to his career as a comedian, Burnham co-created and starred in the MTV television series Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous and released his first book of poetry, Egghead: Or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone, in 2013. His first feature film as writer and director, Eighth Grade, was released in July 2018 to widespread critical acclaim. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Bo Burnham: what." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 19 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bo_burnham%3A_what._4401>.

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