It's okay, Dad.

Lynn will be back soon.

Good evening, listeners

and welcome to...

Haven't you got any money?

He's known as the Maori comedian

with that famous laugh...

and widely recognised as one of

NZ's most loved entertainers.

Billy T James lies gravely ill

in hospital tonight.

The Kaikohe Police Station

was burgled last night.

The burglars took the toilet.

The cops said today that they've

got nothing to go on.

Billy received a heart transplant

over a year ago.


complications have meant...

that he checked into Auckland's

Greenlane Hospital, this afternoon.

The tests are conclusive, Billy.

The fever you caught

has damaged your new heart.

It's beyond repair.

Well, how long

have I got, then, doc?

We can't be sure.

You know, I had a mate

in the same situation.

Yeah, the doc came in and said,

'I've got some good news,

and I've got some bad news,'


'The good news is...

you've only got 24 hours to live'.

'Oh, hell, doc,' my mate reckons,

'What's the bad news?'

The doc says,

'Should've told you yesterday'.

I'll check on you again shortly.



when it happens,

no tangi, okay? I, um... I can't stand

the thought of all those strangers...

staring at me for days on end.

But they're your whanau.

What do you want, Billy?

I wanna be at home,

at our home.

Then that's what's happening.

How are you holding up, Dad?

I told your Mum

not to name him after me,

but she went ahead,

and look what happened.

Jesus got us mixed up

and took the wrong Bill.

He looks so handsome.

At peace now, aren't you, love?

Whano, whano.

Haramai te toki! Haumie,

hui-e, taikie!

Ngara mai matou mo Billy.

No, no, no. You get out of here.

Kao! Kaore e tukuna e au.

Puta atu koutou ki waho.

They want our Billy.

- Hey!

- No, don't! Don't!

No, no, no, no!

You've got it wrong!

He's going to the marae

after the service at St. Matthews.

We had an agreement!

This is what Billy wanted!

It doesn't matter

what Billy wants any more.


- That's my boy!

- Cherie, call the police!

Not my boy!


That's my brother!


Hands off him!

That's my son!



Haramai, Cherie.


What is going on?

They're his whanau.

Now he's dead, they're his whanau!

They love him too.

They have no right to do this!

Billy wanted to be here with us.

He has to go home.

Oh God.

# I say mony.

# Yeah.

# Mony.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah. Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Mony, mony.

# Mony, mony.

# Mony, mony.

# I said come on, come on, come on.

# Mony, mony. Mony, mony.

# Mony, mony. Mony, mony.

# Gonna feel all right now.

# Mony, mony.

# I said yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah.

# Yeah. #

I'm William Taitoko.

Thank you very much!

- You enjoying it?

- Yeah.

Whoo-hoo, it's William Taitoko!

Hey, can I have your autograph?

- Bill!


You should get back up there.

Okay, okay, How about

that Mick Jagger, right?

His lips are so big...

is he a Maori or what?

Not as big as Billy's lips,

though, eh, mate?


I've been summoned.

I'll see you after the gig.

You remind that bugger

you finished work at 5.

So, what did your boss want?

Don't tell me he tried to have

his wicked way with you.

Well, he didn't sack you, did he?

He said I shouldn't be seen

with Billy.

And he's damn right.

Everyone knows musicians

are nothing but...

sex maniacs and drug addicts.

Leave it out, cuz.

He doesn't like Billy

'cos he's a hori, right?

If you're sticking with Billy,

you better get used to it.

This whole country

is full of rednecks.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Billy" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 28 Oct. 2020. <>.

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