Beverly Hills Cop

Synopsis: Detroit cop Axel Foley is delighted when he receives a surprise visit from his best friend Mikey Tandino, who lives in California. Not long after Mikey arrives in Detroit, Mikey is killed, right in front of Axel, by a man named Zack. Axel follows Zack to Beverly Hills, California, where Beverly Hills police department Lieutenant Andrew Bogomil assigns Detective Billy Rosewood and Rosewood's partner, Sergeant John Taggart, to keep an eye on Axel. Axel visits his friend Jenny Summers, who works in an art gallery. With Jenny's help, Axel discovers that Zack works for Jenny's boss, Victor Maitland, the man who owns the art gallery. Maitland is a drug kingpin who is using the gallery as a front, and Maitland had Zack kill Mikey after Maitland accused Mikey of stealing some of Maitland's bonds. With the help of Jenny, Billy, and Taggart, Axel does what he can to make sure Maitland and Zack won't kill any more people.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): John Landis
Production: Paramount Home Video
  3 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
104 min

Truck looks great.

Must be a fortune here.

I know, just not in front of him, OK?

Fellas, what's going on?

I've been here too long.

- Give us a minute.

- No. Check this out.

You can't get no cleaner. These are

very popular with the children.

This is a federal tax stamp.

You can't get no cleaner.

You keep 'em

if it's such a great deal.

I ain't from Detroit. I don't know

nobody who can handle a job this big.

You're supposed to have the

connections. Do what you want to do.

- It ain't easy to get rid of this.

- I know, but I'm a businessman.

Warm up the truck.

Let's get the f*** out of here.

- Here you go.

- You're a sharp kid.

Thank you.

Cousin, my man, don't dash yet.

This looks like $2,000, not $5,000.

- Let me see.

- The deal is for 5,000.

I told my people

there should be five grand.

- They stiffed us.

- No, they stiffed you.

You can't count on anybody.

But let's not hassle about it now.

Take the two grand and on the next

score, I'll make it up to you.

Don't jerk me off. This is bullshit.

I need $5,000, not $2,000.

Don't do this to me.

Come on, you ain't dealin'

with Johnny Bananas.

I know I ain't.

Can I have my money?

Can I say it slow for you?

I need $5,000. Read my lips.

$5,000 is what I need.

I can't do nothing with that.

You want to be an a**hole,

smoke 'em yourself.

I don't smoke Lucky Strike.

I smoke King Size Kent.

F*** this.

Nice doing business with you.

What you doing here?

Officer, you know what happened?

You ain't going to believe it.

The truck just stopped. You got

some cables, you give me a jump?

- Don't I know you?

- No, I'm from Buffalo.

Break out some ID.

Let's get the f*** outta here!


Freeze, a**hole!

Foley, we should have known

it was you!

Axel. Way to go!

- I don't have time.

- Todd's after you.

He said it's your worst f***-up.

I don't think that's true.

- He's not in there.

- I see that.

If you'd busted them, maybe he

wouldn't be so mad, but you haggled.

$2,000 wasn't enough.

They'd have known I was a cop.

- Leave me alone.

- Don't go anywhere.

- You a**hole.

- I'm not saying you did wrong,

but if you had busted them,

it would have been better.

- Where you going?

- Out of here.

- Big mistake. You want my advice?

- No.

Go in there, talk to him.

He'll be right back.

Jeff, get away from me.

I'm going to shoot you.

- You know what I would do?

- Lighten up. I'm not listening. OK?

You're making it a lot worse

for yourself.

Look at this. Thank you, guys.

Axel, you got a cigarette?

- Did you write that one?

- Everybody knows about the truck.

Will you listen to me?

I am not listening to you.

Great. Real mature.

I am not listening to Jeffrey,

but he's still talking.

- I hate when you do that.

- Stop, then!

- Is that f***ing Foley in here?

- There's Todd, it's show time.

Boss, I know...

Where do you come off going

undercover without my authorisation?

You want to play cowboy cop,

do it in someone else's precinct.

- Want to hear my side of the story?

- What's your side of the story?

Let's hear your side of the story.

Do you know how much this stunt

of yours is going to cost this city?

Cost isn't the issue. It's my blatant

disregard for proper procedure.

You're damn right, wise-ass!

The mayor called the chief,

he called the deputy,

he chewed my ass out.

You see I don't have any of it left!

Where the f*** d'you get

the cigarettes from, anyway?

- From the Dearborn hijack.

- That bust went down last week.

- That truck should be in the pound.

- I told you.

- It's none of your business.

- This isn't my locker.

Listen, Axel.

No more set-ups, you understand?

You're a good cop

with great potential,

but you don't know

every f***ing thing.

I'm tired of taking the heat for you.

Once more and you're on the street.

- Do you understand?

- Look...

Do you understand me?

Yeah, I understand. Boss...

Chief ain't chewed it all.

You still got some ass.

Don't f*** with me, Axel.

Not now. Go on, go home.

How you doing, man? How you doing?

Still breaking in people's houses.

What do you expect with that lock?

Buy a real lock.

I got my pistol.

I'll shoot somebody.

I can't afford no electric, close

my fridge. There's roaches in there.

So what's up, man? Look at you!

- When did you get out?

- Six months ago.

And you're just coming to see me now?

I got out early for good time and

I went to California, get some sun.

I gotta show you something.

I ain't seen you in two years, man.

What's up?

10,000 Deutschmarks.

- Deutschmark?

- Yeah.

- What is that?

- They're bearer bonds. Untraceable.

You stole 'em?

- No.

- I don't want to hear it.

- It's just good to see you.

- I missed you, man.

- What were you doing in California?

- Working.

- Working where?

- Guess.

- I don't know.

- Beverly Hills.

- What were you doing?

- You won't believe this.

I was a security guard.

Who'd hire you as a security guard?

- Jenny Summers.

- Jenny Summers?

I haven't seen Jenny in years.

- What's she up to?

- She's doing great.

She's manager of this art gallery.

The Hollis Benton Art Gallery,

Beverly Hills.

It's world famous. Ever hear of it?

Yeah, I buy all my art there.

Corner pocket, two cushions.

- 50 bucks you don't make that shot.

- Bullshit.

- 100.

- You got a bet.

- What are you gonna do?

- You're as bright as always.

20, 40, 60, 80, take it.

Have a party.

Pleasure doing business with you.

What the f*** you gonna do?

Miss, two more Scotch and sodas.

I got a great idea.

I got a great idea.

Let's steal a car.

Are you serious?

I'm a f***ing police officer.

I can't steal cars no more.

How many times

have you stolen a car, man?

A f***ing Cadillac!

Driving on the expressway

like two f***ing maniacs.

I remember you went to jail for that.

- No, it was state school.

- That's jail when you're 15.

That ain't jail, man. That's like

day camp compared to jail.

How come you didn't tell on me

when you got caught?

You don't know?

- You don't know?

- No.

Because I love you, man.

One more round.

Hold still. Mike, I gotta open

the door, OK? Balance yourself.

Here we go, Mike.

I'm opening the door now, OK?

Here we go.


Hey, Mikey, where have you been?

What's up, Zack?

What have you got there, Mikey?

What is this? Your laundry?

I swear,

I was going to bring 'em back.

- You got lost?

- No.

I came to see my friend. I had 'em

with me. I figured, you know...

- What you doing?

- What am I supposed to do, Mikey?

There was a whole box of them. I

didn't think anybody'd miss a couple.

I figured I'd take 'em...

- Shut up.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, shut up.

- Man, please.

- Just shut up, Mikey.

I swear...

I swear, if you ever show

your face out there again...

- Ever.

- I won't. I promise you. I'm sorry.

I f***ed up, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Ever.

- I'm sorry.

Axel, go to the hospital and get

that bump on your head checked out.

- My head is all right, man.

- It's not a request, Axel.

Boss. Boss...

Can I talk to you for a minute?

I heard you got Rand on this case.

He doesn't know the time of day.

Don't mess with me.

He hasn't left his desk in 12 years.

At least he's had 12 years.

Anyway, it's a homicide case and it

belongs to Rand. Go to the hospital.

- Can I ask around a bit?

- Don't do a thing.

You're skating on thin ice as it is.

We're talking about a friend of mine!

Yes, we are, aren't we?

Let's take a close look at that.

One, a hoodlum friend.

Two, a professional hit.

Three, in a cop's apartment.

This whole thing

stinks to high heaven.

- Why a professional hit?

- I didn't just walk into this town.

Whoever killed your friend

wasn't worried about you.

If they were, you'd be lying

beside him in that meat wagon.

Don't do a damn thing.

Stay out of this.

I'm owed some vacation time.

I want to take my vacation now.

Stay away from this case.

I just need a little vacation,

that's all.

All right, as soon as you finish

at the hospital, you're on vacation.

Thank you.

But if you decide

to butt into this case,

it'll be the longest vacation

you ever heard of.

- Checking in today, sir?

- That depends. This hotel expensive?

Not for Beverly Hills.

Can I get your bags for you?

Yeah, that's my bag

in the front seat.

I'm sorry, sir, we just

have nothing available tonight.

I suggest next time

you call for a reservation

at least a week in advance.

Thank you.

- Hi.

- The nerve of some people!

May I help you?

You have a reservation

for Axel Foley.

Let's see.

I'm sorry, I don't see

anything under that name.

Check Rolling Stone Magazine's

Axel Foley, that's what it is.

No, no Rolling Stone, no Axel Foley.

I'm sorry, sir.

You probably just made a mistake.

Just give me another room.

Sorry, sir,

but there are none available.

Don't you think I realise what's

going on? Who do you think I am?

If I was some hotshot

from out of town

and you'd made a reservation mistake,

I'd be the first to get a room.

I'm not some hotshot, I'm

a small reporter from Rolling Stone,

here to do an interview

with Michael Jackson,

that's gonna be

in every major magazine.

I wanted to call it Jackson

Is Sitting On Top Of The World.

Now I'll call it

Jackson Can Sit On Top Of The World

But Not In The Beverly Palm Hotel

Cos There's No N*ggers Allowed.

Excuse me, sir, it seems

we have a last-minute cancellation.

There is a room available, a suite,

but I'll charge you

the single-room rate.

Thank you. I'm sorry,

it's probably jet lag.

- I understand.

- What's the rate?

That'll be $235 a night, sir.


- That'll be suite 1035.

- Thank you very much.

- Yes, sir.

- Thank you.

If Michael calls,

tell him what room I'm in.

Of course.

- How you are doing?

- Hi.

I'm fine. My name is Serge.

How can I help you?

I'm looking for Miss Jenny Summers.

It's very busy today.

You give me your name?

- My name's Axel Foley.

- What it's pertaining?

- I didn't understand.

- Pertaining, meaning, regarding...

Oh, what's it regarding?

I'm an old acquaintance.


One moment.

Donny, tell Miss Summers

that Ahmed Farley's here to...

- No, Axel Foley.

- Ahmel... Ahwell...

Foley's here,

he's an old acquaintance.

Cover this up.

It's like the breast of a dog

to scrub for the customer.

- It's not sexy, it's animal.

- Not sexy at all.

May I offer you something to drink?

Wine, cocktail, espresso?

No, thank you.

I make it myself, with a lemon twist.

You should try it.

No, I'm fine.

- I see you look at this piece.

- How much would it go for?


- Get the f*** outta here.

- No, I cannot.

It's a very important piece.

- Ever sold one of these?

- Yesterday.

- Get the f*** outta here.

- I'm serious. I sell it myself.

Axel Foley What on earth are you doing here?

- How you doing?

- I'm fine. Hold on a second.

Great. Excuse me, Serge.

- What are you doing here?

- How you doing?

It's good to see you.

How've you been?

- Look at you!

- You like?

Yeah. You're getting old.

F*** you.

- What is this?

- A moustache.

- Peach fuzz.

- No, that's man style now.

You have someplace we can talk?

Yeah. Over there. Come on.

- You've filled out.

- Yeah, I filled out.

No, it looks good, though.

Sit down.

- I want to talk about Mikey.

- Is he in trouble again?

He's dead.


He came into Detroit

and somebody killed him.

I don't believe this.

Look, I can't right now.

I'll be up in a second.

Mikey mentioned

that you helped him get a job.


The guy who owns this gallery

hired him as a favour to me.

- Who's this guy?

- His name is Victor Maitland.

He was working for Victor

at the gallery's warehouse.

I can't talk now,

I have to go upstairs.

That's cool.

I'll call you later on

and we'll get together and talk, OK?


Be good.

Hi. Delivery for Victor Maitland.

I'll take it upstairs to him.

Maybe I should give it to him myself.

Deliveries should be left here.

He has to get these flowers.

I'll go up myself.

You're not supposed to.

Floral delivery is my life.

I have to take it.

- Who let you in?

- I let myself in.

How you doing? I have some questions

about Michael Tandino.

Speak to you later, darling.

What, may I ask,

is your interest in Mr Tandino?

He was my best friend. He visited me

in Detroit a couple of days ago.

Soon after he got there,

someone killed him.

Oh, my God. That's terrible.

It's f***ed up.

And? What do you wish to know?

- He worked for you, didn't he?

- Yes, yes, he did.

Good gracious!

I'm really sorry to hear this.

Would you like to sit down?

Can I get you anything?

- No, I'm all right.

- How on earth did this happen?

Detroit is a very violent city,

isn't it?


I do hope the police have procured

some intelligent leads.

Exactly what did Mikey do for you?

I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

My name is Foley.

Excuse me, Mr Foley,

if I appear a little rude,

but this sounds like something

for the authorities in Detroit.

So, if you'll forgive me,

I must get back to work.

- All I want to know is...

- Please show Mr Foley to the door.

- Get the f*** off me.

- Hey, take it easy.

Get off me, man.

Get the f*** off me. Get off!

Get the f*** off me, man. Get off!

Get off me. Think I'm playing games?

I'm f***ing somebody up.

Hey What the f*** is this sh*t?

Did you see that?

I can describe them all.

Put your hands

on the hood of the car.

- What's with you guys?

- You heard him, sir. Do it now.

What kind of sh*t is this?

Wait a second.

You're arresting me

for getting thrown out of a window?

I got thrown out of a window, man!

Gun, partner!

Sir, you're under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say will be used

against you in court.

You have the right

to have an attorney.

I understand the rights.

This is bullshit.

I got thrown out of a window.

- Get in the car.

- What's the charge?

Possession of a concealed weapon

and disturbing the peace.

I got thrown out of a window!

What's the charge for getting

pushed out of a car, jaywalking?

This is bullshit!

You know, this is the cleanest and

nicest police car I've ever been in.

It's nicer than my apartment.

Officers, if we see any movie stars

could you point them out to me?

That's enough talking.

OK, that's cool.

This is nice.

It's about time. I thought

you'd forgot me. I was hungry.

I've never seen a cell with a phone.

Could I stay cos I ordered pizza?

Somebody'll eat it.

Have a seat right over there, please.

I'm Sergeant Taggart and this

is my partner, Detective Rosewood.

Do you always treat visitors

from out of town like this?

Why didn't you say you were a police

officer when you were arrested?

Where do you get off

arresting somebody

for getting thrown out of a window?

Six witnesses say you started

tearing up the place,

then jumped out the window.

You believe that? What the f***

are you, cops or doormen?

We're more likely to believe

an important local businessman

than a foul-mouthed jerk.

Foul-mouthed? F*** you, man.

- Watch your mouth.

- Don't square off on me.

- Don't push me.

- F*** you, man.


- Yes, sir.

- Come here.


I apologise for striking you.

I have no excuse.

Forget about it.

Det. Foley I am Lieutenant Bogomil of

the Beverly Hills Police Department.

Do you wish to file charges

against Sergeant Taggart?

Is this a joke?

Do you wish to file charges

against this officer for assault?

Where I'm from, cops don't

file charges against other cops.

No, I don't want to do that.

In Beverly Hills,

we go strictly by the book.

Why didn't you inform us

when you came to town?

I'm on vacation.

Then why were you

in Victor Maitland's office?

I had to go to the bathroom.

It looked like a nice clean place.

- Always take your gun on vacation?

- Don't know. Never been on vacation.

But, in Detroit,

cops must always carry a firearm.

If you want to carry a gun,

go back there.

I really can't wait to get back.

Is that so? I just spoke

to Inspector Todd in Detroit.

Does that name ring a bell?

- He's my boss.

- You may not be welcome back.

He says you're

an outstanding young detective.

I find that difficult to believe.

It's true.

He also says he nearly fired you.

I find that very easy to believe.

What are you doing here? in Beverley Hills

I'm on vacation.

I went to the bathroom

and six guys threw me out a window.

Inspector Todd gave me a message

for you. Wanna hear it?


He says if you're here

investigating the Tandino murder,

don't bother coming back.

If we inform him

you are working on this case,

he'll have you fired.

One last time, what are you doing?

I'm on vacation!


Rosewood, take Mr Foley

over to the courthouse

and let him arrange for bail.

Follow me, sir.

I got to hand it to you guys,

you are extremely polite.

Pretty good punch you got, Taggart.

After you.

After you.

You guys are so sweet, you know that?

Thanks for bailing me out, Jen.

If I'd known why you'd been arrested,

I wouldn't have come.

- You don't mean that.

- No, I don't mean that.

If it wasn't for Victor Maitland,

I'd be a waitress.

The day Mikey got killed, he showed

up with a bag of German bearer bonds.

I think he stole them

from whoever killed him.

When I mentioned Mikey's name,

Maitland threw me out.

You look like a hoodlum. You barge

into his office, carrying a gun.

If I didn't know you,

I'd throw you out.

Is this your car?

No. In Beverly Hills

we just take the closest one.

I remember you used to drive

that crappy blue Chevy Nova.

What are you driving now?

The same crappy blue Chevy Nova.

Do you think it's too late

for me to study art?

Axel, why were you bothering Victor?

You don't think he has anything

to do with Mikey's death?

No, I was just poking around.

I don't think he did nothing.

Victor is one of the top art dealers

in the US, he has been for ten years.

I'm impressed.

- What are you looking at?

- The cops, they're following us.

What? Where?

In the back, on the right.

Beige Ford.

Can you believe this place?

How can you afford this?

They only charged me

the single-room rate.

- How can you afford that?

- I can't.

In the bathroom they got little robes

with the hotel's initials on it.

I love this place, I can't leave.

- I'm going to steal one. Want one?

- No.

You want some slippers?

I'm going to steal them, too.

Excuse me, two seconds.

Hello, room service?

This is Mr Axel Foley in suite 1035.

I'd like to order something

from your late supper menu.

I want you to deliver it

to this beige Ford on Wilshire.

Send down one bay shrimp

salad sandwich. OK?

Right. And is the cold poached salmon

in dill sauce tasty?

OK, send one of those down.

And send down something for dessert.

All right. Thank you.

You're quite a sport.

How long are you going to stay?

Until I find out who killed Mikey.

And I'm considering checking out

the warehouse where he worked.


How you planning on getting in?

- Good evening, sir.

- What is that?

Late supper,

compliments of Mr Axel Foley.

- Foley? How'd he know we were here?

- Because I let you drive.

I need a couple of bananas. How much?

The buffet plate is $12.50. You get

peaches, plums, oranges and bananas.

All I need is a couple of bananas.

Go ahead, take those bananas.

Thank you.

- I'm not eating that. Take it back.

- Certainly.

This really looks great.

- Could I get some extra mayo?

- Certainly, sir.

- Ready to go?

- Yeah.

There's the Mercedes.

Will you get rid of that stuff?

What the hell are you doing?

This the place?

Yeah, but I'm not sure

I should do this.

OK, but when you hear glass breaking,

don't get scared.

It's just me kicking in the window.

Sit tight.

All right. Come on, Axel.

- What's happening, baby?

- Axel Grow up.

- Did you find something?

- Coffee grounds.


You know what this is used for?

People add hot water and drink it.

I'll take this home, add hot water

and drink it in the morning.

What are we hiding for?

I wish you'd been with me last night.

- What happened?

- We stopped in a joint for a drink.

- Which one?

- A local joint.

Some guy comes in,

sits a couple of stools away.

He's got one of them eyes

that's going like this.

I didn't know whether he was trying

to put the make on me.

I thought I'd take you there tonight,

let him have a shot at you

before I tore his head off.

Let's go. I want to get out of here.

- Just get off my back.

- Come on.

I got it.

- Axel What the hell's going on?

- I'll tell you later. Come on

Hurry up.

- Give me the key.

- Ever driven a Mercedes?

A car's a car.

I drive mine every day.

- I'm driving, I've seen your car.

- Oh Sh*t, that's cold.

How could you not notice a man

sticking a banana in your tailpipe?

- He distracted us.

- How?

He sent us a late supper.

This waiter comes over...

Billy, he gets the point.

A late supper?

And what did you have, Rosewood?

I think it was

a shrimp salad sandwich, sir.

- A shrimp salad sandwich?

- Yes, sir.

I want you two to go back

to the hotel and wait for Foley.

If you lose him again,

don't bother calling in. Got that?

- Yes, sir.

- Yes, sir.

A late supper.

We've got something for you, Billy.

An anti-banana disguise.

- It may come in handy.

- A little extra protection, Billy.

Very funny.

Let's go.

- You take the car and go home.

- What about you?

I want to find out about this place.

It's a bonded warehouse.

They hold our foreign shipments

till they clear customs.

I'm going to check it out. Go home.

Damn it, Axel.

I'm not going to bail you out again.

Go home.

How you doing?

Come here for a second, please.

- Hi, you have a match?

- No smoking in here.

I'm going to smoke when

I go outside. Thank you very much.

- Is your supervisor here?

- In the office.

- Will you get him?

- What's the problem?

You security?

Then you're the f***ing problem.

Get your supervisor. Now.



He didn't come back yet.

What do we do now?

We wait.


- Can I help you?

- Are you the supervisor?

- Yes. Who are you?

- Inspector Rafferty, US Customs.

- Has all this gone through customs?

- No, this is the bonded area.

Then tell me,

how can a black man, dressed like me,

just march in and start poking around

without being asked any questions?

- I don't know.

- That's the answer I wanted.

Give me your ID numbers.

Somebody's going to lose their job.

- He gave me a match.

- You gave him a match?

Listen. I do security checks

all over the nation.

And apart from Cleveland,

this place has the worst security

in the nation.

Call your wives

cos we'll be here all night.

We're gonna check the background

of every crate,

starting with this one.

It says here that by the time

the average American is 50,

he's got five pounds

of undigested red meat in his bowels.

Why are you telling me this?

What makes you think

I have any interest in that at all?

Well, you eat a lot of red meat.

The inspector needs

the information on those bills.

All the manifests, too.

And records of all shipments

due into the same destination.

- What's this about?

- Just do it.

You got a warrant for this?

You have a very big mouth, sir.

Are you hiding something from me?

I bet that's your Porsche outside.

Is it?

Would you like me to have the IRS

crawl up your ass with a microscope?

It's not pretty.

I want you to know something.

I want you all to know, I could

have 25 agents here in 15 minutes,

to march in here, snatch your bond

and you'd be out of business,

if you don't cooperate. Understood?

We'll give you everything you need.

- Everything you need.

- That's not my Porsche, sir.

You've nothing to worry about, then.

You all take me for a fool. Hurry!

I notice you've been drinking

a lot of coffee lately.

I think that's why

you have a hard time relaxing.

Jesus Christ!

You almost gave me a heart attack.

- What are you doing here so late?

- You're a cocky son of a b*tch.

If you're still mad

about the banana, I'm sorry.

I needed some time to myself.

I wish I'd seen your face

when the car conked out.

Very funny. The lieutenant

docked us two days' pay.

Get outta here!

- He's not kidding.

- No, he's not kidding.

By the way, thanks for the sandwich.

It was a joke, like the bananas.

I know what it's like on a stakeout.

That food was from the heart.


Why are we always arguing? We're all

cops. We should work together.

We've all had a rough day.

What do you say we go get something

to drink, make up and be friends?

Forget it.

OK, f*** it. I'm going to get

a drink. Follow me if you want.

But I lost you once, I can again.

Why don't we get something

to drink together? Let's be friends.

- We don't drink on duty.

- OK. Fine.

But listen. I found

the perfect place. I saw it today.

It's perfect for you. It's

very conservative. You'll love it.

It's nice. Trust me.

- Hi. Can I get you something?

- Yes!

Can I have a Scotch and soda?

What do you want?

- Light beers for them.

- Two club sodas.

You crack me up

with this "on duty" sh*t.

Billy, you don't have to be

embarrassed if your dick is hard.

Your dick is supposed to get hard.

That's the whole object.

Taggart's dick is hard,

but he won't say. He's the boss.

Boss's dick got to stay limp.

I ain't on duty

so my dick can be hard.

Taggart, look. I found that

at Maitland's warehouse.

- Billy! Give her this.

- No.

Stuff that in her thing.

She'll go nuts.

Excuse me.


- What do you think?

- Coffee grounds. So?

You guys don't know nothing

about nothing, do you?

Make sure we get the right drinks.

I drink club soda, I'll throw up.

Thank you so much.

Thank you very much.

- She likes you.

- Think so?

No doubt.

Taggart... See that guy

over there in the black coat?

- Black jacket?

- Yeah.

It's June.

Isn't it hot for a long leather coat?

- Yeah, a little.

- Yeah.

Look at his partner.

They just came in.

Something's getting ready to go down.

- Go and cover that guy.

- What's going on?

I'll check out this a**hole at the

bar. Billy will make sure I behave.

Will somebody tell me

what's going on?

No bullshit this time.

Just sit tight, Billy.


Man, what's happening, Phil?

He said you don't come here no more,

but I said, "It's Phil".

- Get out of here, man.

- I told you!

- Give me a kiss, baby.

- I said get outta here!

Everybody freeze!

Turn around. Turn around!

- Phil!

- Keep your hands on the table!

What's wrong?

What's all the hostility?

- Get back.

- What's all this gun, man?

You changed.

Get back or I'll

blow your brains out.

Police. Move and I'll kill you.

Don't move! Turn over!

Way to go, Rosewood.

You're some cop. You know that?

Sorry for the disturbance, folks.

Everything's under control.


Would you explain why

you and Rosewood were in a strip bar

out of our jurisdiction

while you were on duty?

Before you chastise these officers,

there's something you should know.

The only reason they were at a strip

bar is because they were tailing me.

They were outside

wondering what I was doing.

I was in having a good time.

I'm into those things.

These guys waited outside

and the only reason they came in

was because they saw two men with

bulges in their jackets going in.

Well, these guys

were going to commit a robbery.

They watched them, waited for them to

make their move, then foiled a crime.

I did not know what was going on.

I'm freaked out.

They must have a sixth sense.

I don't know what you teach them,

but they're not just regular cops.

They're supercops.

The only thing missing

on these guys are capes.

Is this what really happened?

No, sir.

Would someone tell me what happened?


Foley invited us to this bar.

We accepted.

- We ordered club sodas, sir.

- Right.

And while we were there,

Foley observed the two suspects

casing the establishment.

And before we knew what was going on,

he'd already disarmed one of them.

Detective Foley deserves

all the credit for the arrests, sir.

Detective Foley,

we appreciate your assistance,

but if you want to practise

law enforcement,

I would prefer you did it in Detroit.

I understand. I'm sorry.

But before I go

I want you two to know,

the supercops story was working.

OK? It was working

and you guys just messed it up.

I'm trying to figure you guys out,

but I haven't yet. But it's cool.

Just f*** up a perfectly good lie

and it's all right.

You guys are off the case.

Foster, McCabe, your turn.

- Don't lose him.

- Not a chance, sir.

And you two...

In my office.

Morning, gentlemen.

Coffee and doughnuts?

- What?

- Coffee and doughnuts.

There he is.

Morning, officers.

You the second team?

We're the first team.

We won't fall

for a banana in the tailpipe.

You won't fall

for the banana in the tailpipe?

It should be more natural,

brother, like this.

"I ain't falling for no banana in my

tailpipe." It's more natural for us.

You've been hanging out

with this dude too long.

I'm sorry, I'm just f***ing with you.

That's funny to me.

- You gonna try to keep up with me?

- No problem.

- Isn't this Victor Maitland's house?

- Yeah, I think so.

I've seen enough.

You want something to drink?

I got some stuff in the trunk.

Excuse me.

For a man on vacation,

you look like you're on a stakeout.

Stakeout? No, no. I'm picnicking.

This is a picnic area.

I've been shooting the sh*t

long enough.

Time for me to take in some sights.

Excuse me.

What the hell's he doing?

Can you put this in a good spot?

This sh*t happened

last time I parked here.

May I help you?

I'm looking for Victor Maitland.

You realise that

this is a members only club?

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Danilo Bach

Danilo Bach (born March 1, 1944) is an American screenwriter and film producer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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