Between Us
[BUZZING]
[DOOR OPENS]
I gotta say, it's a little strange having
you two show up at our doorstep like this.
[GRACE] Okay, okay. So then he
says, [JOEL] Tell him about the...
as if he's reliving some
memory, The lust part.
- The part about the lust. - Looking at our
priest, and he's looking out the window,
as if remembering
something long ago,
says, "Of course, everyone
can lust at first sight."
- "Lust at first sight."
- "Of course everyone can lust at first sight."
Priest says it?
[GRACE] Yeah.
Father...
Father Whatever says,
physical reactions."
No, he doesn't. [
CARLO] Yes, he did.
- "Everyone will gape at a white neck."
- He said...
But he said milky.
Wha... Fine.
- He didn't say white.
- He said milky.
- "A milky neck."
"The-The gape of a milky neck.
- A beautiful lock of hair.
The pink of warm flesh." - No!
[ALL EXCLAIM]
- We said, "Whoa!"
- Pink?
- I mean, and we're stunned.
- We were stunned.
- Stunned.
- [ALL LAUGH]
- So Carlo offered him our firstborn.
- Oh, here we go.
Did you or didn't you? I had
to sign this piece of paper...
Carlo had to vow...
that he would do everything in his
power to raise his kids Catholic.
The paper said ours.
Did it?
Yes. It did.
[SCOFFS]
It was just a paper.
It was our spine.
It was just a piece of paper.
[WAITER] Whenever you're ready.
Oh, thanks. Hope
everything was all right.
- [JOEL] I got it, I got it.
- Okay. All right.
[CARLO] Well, thank
you, Mr. Money Bags.
You are too kind. [JOEL] Best
of the Midwest, my friends.
You are too kind.
Thanks, guys.
[CARLO] Yes, yes.
[GRACE] It's all fun until...
[CARLO] Leave it to the recovering
Catholic to make things difficult.
[GRACE]
Ex-catholic, not recovering.
You can't talk about religion in
front of someone. It gets weird...
when you talk about religion
and all things holy...
[GRACE] He asked us, "You two were raised
Catholic. Why not get married in a church?"
- And suddenly, he gets very paternal.
- He didn't get paternal.
- [CARLO] He was supposed... - Yes, he did.
"Don't you believe in God, young lady?"
And I say, "Well, of course, Father
Whatever. Of course I believe in God.
It's not that I don't believe in him.
It's just that he's become impossible.
[CARLO LAUGHING] She said this to
a priest, in that little office!
[GRACE] I should have whipped out
my diaphragm right on his desk.
[CARLO] Well, that would
have been really classy.
What are you two smirking about?
You both were raised Catholic.
The only thing Catholic left in me
is my love of the Sistine Chapel.
- [GRACE] Well, the priest was sweet.
- He got loaded.
[CARLO] I guess they have just as
much to stress about as the rest of us.
[GRACE] He was a very sweet drunk.
I even danced with him.
[JOEL] He danced?
[CARLO] Yes.
[SHARYL]
Did he lick your milky neck?
[GRACE]
He put his hands on my hips.
My mother couldn't
believe her eyes.
[GRACE] Your mother laughed.
[JOEL] Liddy? Liddy did not
dance with the priest, did she?
[CARLO] No, no, no. No. Her
mother danced with the priest.
Yeah, but my mother would, wouldn't she?
[JOEL] She would.
[CARLO] My mother did not
dance with the... Did she?
Oh!
That's revolting!
This sweaty, baldy priest dancing with
all these 20-something bridesmaids.
Come on. I'm sweaty and balding, and I would
love to dance with 20-something bridesmaids.
[CARLO] Ah. [SHARYL] That's
nothing new, sweetheart.
[CARLO] You're balding? Where?
Where are you balding?
[JOEL] Where? Where
does everybody go bald?
- Let me see. Show me.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Ooh! Look at that!
- [JOEL] Ooh!
[CARLO] It's over for you. Yeah, it's
been over for me for years. Just ask her.
- [SHARYL] Oh, Joel. - Reminds me
of it every night before we go to bed.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[CARLO] The show in Denver was great.
It was great. Thanks.
I'm just glad we were able
to make this layover work.
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES]
Wow, this is a long way from
your place in the Village. Baby!
[GIRL] Hi! [SHARYL] Hello, sweetie.
How was he?
[CONVERSATION CONTINUES,
INDISTINCT]
[SHARYL]
Here. I gave you a little extra.
[GRACE] That's the going rate?
Jesus, it pays not to leave the house.
Say hi to your boyfriend for me.
Oh, I will.
[GIRL] Have a good night.
[SHARYL] Thank you.
Are you, uh...
You okay?
Oh, man, are you kidding?
Come on.
This is the best day I've had in months.
You're here.
Hey, hey, hey! Speaking
of drunk, balding men,
this one is about to make a toast.
Oh, no. Please.
Sharyl.
Come on.
All right.
To the two of you...
- Thanks, Carlo.
- And your wedding.
We're sorry
to have missed it.
Grad school.
Such dreams.
Now look at us. Settled
down, starting families.
It's like we're, uh,
different people, um...
Oh, Joel, don't be
such a drunk ham. Ha!
[CARLO, SHARYL LAUGH]
Okay, anyway...
To Carlo and Grace,
to the two of you.
To love, success, fortune!
We love you!
We think you're the best. We really,
really do. Thank you, guys.
[SHARYL] Cheers. Mmm. Mmm.
- Look at that. I love it.
- [JOEL] Yeah.
[CARLO]
Check this out.
Hey, how many inches is this thing?
[LAUGHS]
Let me
show you something.
It's like my wing span.
- Come on, man. Easy. Easy. Put that away.
- Yeah.
Wi-Fi. Instantaneous.
Clients love it.
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"Between Us" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/between_us_3971>.
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