Best Laid Plans

Synopsis: Bryce (Josh Brolin) is a successful man who returns to his tiny hometown for a visit. While there, he runs into his old friend Nick (Alessandro Nivola). The two decide to go out for the night. When they enter a bar, Bryce encounters Kathy (Reese Witherspoon), a blonde temptress whom he eventually takes home for the night. When he awakens, Kathy informs him that she is underage and threatens to tell the police that Bryce has committed statutory rape. Bryce panics and decides to tie her up and hide her away in the basement. He then makes a call to Nick. Unbeknownst to Bryce, Kathy is actually Nick's girlfriend Lissa. The two had schemed to use Bryce's money to pay off a $15,000 debt they owe small-time hood Jimmy (Terrence Howard).
Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller
Director(s): Mike Barker
Production: Twentieth Century Fox
  1 win.
Rotten Tomatoes:
92 min

[Fire Crackling]

[Patsy Cline Playing]

OK, another...|Charles Eppker.

Charles... Charles|is a large fellow.

Played football.

People called him|''Chunky.''

That's right.

He still plays--

back-up center|in the Canadian league.

All this remember-when,|where-are-they-now sh*t.

That was college.

Can we please talk|about something else?

You know what?|I had a thought.

Sh*t. No.

Yes. Last night I was|reading The History

of Twentieth Century|America in your honor.

Whose, Manchester's?

No. Big thick text|by...


I'm not going to|remember.

Well, authors' names|don't really matter

in your trade, anyway,|do they?

I work in the English|department.

We deal in fiction.

I can tell the little|shits any name I like.

Your thought?

Oh, yes. Right.|I was reading 1 960s

sexual revolution free|love wife-swapping--

sort of like|an after-dinner,

free-spirit parlor game.

The husbands used to|throw their key chains

onto the table,|mix them up,

then the wives would all|pick them up blindly.

Buddies f***ing|each other's wives,

et cetera, et cetera.

Now think when|our parents were born.

OK, now, think|when we were born.

We could be the offspring|of a key chain adultery.

You get it? We may not|be our fathers' sons.

Oh, it gives me hope,|anyway.

Two more 7 and 7 s.

Jesus, another round?

Thank you.

I haven't finished|this one yet.

Thank you.

To your first month|in Tropico.

Stay hydrated.

Everybody sucks but us.


Oh, I have|a joke for you.

There's this elephant|in the jungle,

and he's got a thorn|caught in his foot.

This mouse wanders by.|Elephant stops him

and says, '' Hey,|I'll give you anything

if you take the thorn|out of my foot.''


[Telephone Ringing]

Hi. How'd it go?

Nick, I--I--|Nick, can you do me a favor?


Can you come over here?|Yeah, it's me.

I know it's late,|but I need you to--

Yeah. No.|I was expecting--

Well, it-- it's me.|I got a problem over here.

I got--|I got a serious--

OK. Can it wait?|Because it's after--

Can't wait.|I need a friend to talk to.

Look, I'm in big|f***ing sh*t!


Please. Please, Nick.


[Tearful]|Thanks, buddy. Bye.


[Firemen Shouting]

How'd this happen?

Ah, brush fire season.

The slightest thing will|spark one of these off.

You want to take a left|here and proceed slowly

up towards the right,|all right? Drive safe.


[Firemen Shouting]

[Knock On Door]


Oh, sh*t.



Jesus, you look|like I feel.

Well, I feel|like it, too.

You want a beer?

All I've got|is domestic sh*t.

That'll be fine.


These people you're sitting for,|they keep a lovely home.

So, you want to tell me|why I'm here?

I got laid tonight.

How wonderful for you.


I didn't bring you here|at 2:00 a.m.

for bragging rights, OK?|Because if I tell you this,

you got to make sure

you're not going|to tell anybody,

that it stays between us.|OK, Nick? OK?

The girl that|we met at the bar?

- Katie?|- No. Kathy.

Oh, boy. What happened?

You left. She and I--|we talked for a while.

You know,|she bought me a round.

And then she asked|if I wanted to leave,

and so we came here.

So we starting making out.|She initiated it.

She did this funny thing|with her hand.

And she was kissing me,|like squeezing my jaw.

Bryce, broad strokes.|Broad strokes.

Sorry. Sorry.

It's like I blinked,|and we were naked.

And then I, uh...|We did it.


Afterwards, she went|to the bathroom.

Couple minutes,|came out,

asked if I had|any vitamin C.

- What?|- Yeah.

So I went upstairs,|and I found some,

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Ted Griffin

Ted Griffin is an American screenwriter whose credits include Ravenous, Matchstick Men, and Ocean's Eleven. Born in Pasadena, California, Griffin graduated from Colgate University in 1993. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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