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[Patsy Cline Playing]
OK, another...|Charles Eppker.
Charles... Charles|is a large fellow.
People called him|''Chunky.''
He still plays--
back-up center|in the Canadian league.
All this remember-when,|where-are-they-now sh*t.
That was college.
You know what?|I had a thought.
Yes. Last night I was|reading The History
of Twentieth Century|America in your honor.
No. Big thick text|by...
I'm not going to|remember.
Well, authors' names|don't really matter
in your trade, anyway,|do they?
I work in the English|department.
We deal in fiction.
I can tell the little|shits any name I like.
Oh, yes. Right.|I was reading 1 960s
sexual revolution free|love wife-swapping--
sort of like|an after-dinner,
free-spirit parlor game.
onto the table,|mix them up,
Buddies f***ing|each other's wives,
et cetera, et cetera.
OK, now, think|when we were born.
You get it? We may not|be our fathers' sons.
Oh, it gives me hope,|anyway.
Two more 7 and 7 s.
Jesus, another round?
I haven't finished|this one yet.
To your first month|in Tropico.
Everybody sucks but us.
Oh, I have|a joke for you.
There's this elephant|in the jungle,
and he's got a thorn|caught in his foot.
and says, '' Hey,|I'll give you anything
if you take the thorn|out of my foot.''
Hi. How'd it go?
Nick, I--I--|Nick, can you do me a favor?
Can you come over here?|Yeah, it's me.
I know it's late,|but I need you to--
Yeah. No.|I was expecting--
Well, it-- it's me.|I got a problem over here.
I got--|I got a serious--
OK. Can it wait?|Because it's after--
Can't wait.|I need a friend to talk to.
Look, I'm in big|f***ing sh*t!
Please. Please, Nick.
[Tearful]|Thanks, buddy. Bye.
How'd this happen?
Ah, brush fire season.
You want to take a left|here and proceed slowly
[Knock On Door]
Jesus, you look|like I feel.
Well, I feel|like it, too.
You want a beer?
All I've got|is domestic sh*t.
That'll be fine.
So, you want to tell me|why I'm here?
I got laid tonight.
How wonderful for you.
I didn't bring you here|at 2:00 a.m.
for bragging rights, OK?|Because if I tell you this,
you got to make sure
you're not going|to tell anybody,
The girl that|we met at the bar?
- Katie?|- No. Kathy.
Oh, boy. What happened?
You left. She and I--|we talked for a while.
You know,|she bought me a round.
And then she asked|if I wanted to leave,
and so we came here.
She did this funny thing|with her hand.
Bryce, broad strokes.|Broad strokes.
It's like I blinked,|and we were naked.
And then I, uh...|We did it.
Afterwards, she went|to the bathroom.
Couple minutes,|came out,
asked if I had|any vitamin C.
- What?|- Yeah.
So I went upstairs,|and I found some,
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"Best Laid Plans" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 27 Sep. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/best_laid_plans_3938>.