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[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING] [WHISPERS]

I dare you. [JAZZ PLAYING] I DARE YOU. COME ON, I DARE YOU. I DARE YOU. OKAY.

JOAN, I DON' THINK YOU SHOULD. WHY NOT? WELL, BECAUSE

IT'S ILLEGAL. [TILL DINGS]

YEAH, SO? Woman:
S-SO YOU

CAN'T JUST BREAK THE LAW. WHY NOT? WELL, BECAUSE YOU-- YOU JUST CAN'T AC ANY OLD WAY YOU LIKE. IT'S-- IT'S UNCIVILIZED. I DARE YOU. [LAUGHS] Joan:

GOOD AFTERNOON. AND HOW MAY I

HELP YOU, YOUNG LADY? I WOULD LIKE SOME

BENZEDRINE INHALERS FOR MY MIGRAINES,

PLEASE? Pharmacist:

WHO'S YOUR DOCTOR? Joan:

DR. BENNE IN TUXEDO PARK. I GO TO BARNARD,

BUT I STILL GO TO MY

FAMILY DOCTOR BACK HOME. Pharmacist:

AND HOW MANY:

DO YOU NEED? OH, THE WHOLE CASE,

PLEASE. WELL, YOU SEEM LIKE

A PRETTY SENSIBLE GIRL. [JAZZ PLAYING] OH, GOD,

THAT TASTES TERRIBLE. OH, IT'S GOOD

FOR YOU, SADIE. DRINK YOUR MEDICINE

LIKE A GOOD GIRL. HELLO? ALLEN, I DARE YOU. OKAY,

DARE ME TO WHAT? BENZEDRINE

MAKES ME SING. PATTON'S 90 MILES

AWAY FROM PARIS. I DON'T THINK LUCIEN AND JACK

ARE GONNA MAKE IT IN TIME

FOR THE LIBERATION. WELL, THEY SHOULD'VE

APPRAISED GENERAL PATTON

OF THEIR PLANS. [LAUGHS] STILL, SAILING A FREIGHTER

ACROSS THE OCEAN, THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING. [ SIGHS ]

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY

RAN AWAY TO JOIN THE WAR. THEY JUS SIMPLY RAN AWAY. WELL, JOANIE, THERE'S STILL

U-BOATS IN THE ATLANTIC. GIVE THEM

A LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT. THERE ARE

OTHER THREATS:

FROM BELOW. YOU GUYS,

LISTEN TO THIS. "THERE WAS A FIRE

IN A TRAVELING CIRCUS AND THEY SAVED

THE LIONS, BUT-- THIS IS

A VERY BIG BUT-- THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED

IN THEIR TANKS." [SADIE LAUGHING] "THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED

IN THEIR TANKS." [WHISTLES]

[KNOCKS] THE SAILORS ARE BACK. JACK! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO SAIL

TO BE A SAILOR. DID YOU MISS US? I SPENT THE ENTIRE

DAY IN MOURNING. WHERE--

WHERE'S MY BLACK VEIL? ORDINARILY WHEN A GOING-AWAY

PARTY IS THROWN IN ONE'S HONOR, IT'S CUSTOMARY FOR ONE

TO ACTUALLY GO AWAY. WE F***ED UP.

WE GOT KICKED OFF THE SHIP. NO, YOU F***ED UP. I THOUGHT YOU WERE

DESPERATE TO GET AWAY

FROM DAVE. I AM, I AM.

WE'LL CATCH THE NEXT ONE. YEAH, AND WE'LL SIGN ON

AND WE'LL LEAVE TOMORROW. WELL, DON'T EXPEC ANOTHER GOING-AWAY PARTY. YOU GUYS HAVE HAD

ONE TOO MANY BON VOYAGES WITHOUT ACTUALLY

TAKING A VOYAGE. TOMORROW.

DEFINITELY:

TOMORROW. YES, WE ARE DEFINITELY

LEAVING TOMORROW. Sadie: OH, JACK.

MISS ME, JOAN? MM, HOW LONG

IS THIS VOYAGE:

GONNA LAST? ONE DAY?

MAYBE TWO? WELL, CAN I AT LEAS BUY YOU A BON VOYAGE DRINK? Joan:

GOOD CHEAP WINE. HOW DARE YOU

CAST ASPERSIONS:

ON MY RED WINE. I THOUGHT WE WERE

DOING SOMETHING TONIGHT. I AM DOING SOMETHING.

I'M GETTING LIT. WELL, POUR ONE

FOR ME, WILL YA? SURE. Dave:

GOOD EVENING,

GOOD PEOPLE. OH, GOD. OH, IT'S A MIRACLE. YOU DIDN'T GO. NOW, DAVE,

IT'S NOT LIKE LUCIEN HAS JUST RISEN

FROM THE DEAD. WHAT ARE YOU

DOING HERE? THAT WAS MY QUESTION. WE, UH, GOT IN

A LITTLE BEEF. WE'RE GONNA

LEAVE TOMORROW. TOMORROW. AND TOMORROW

AND TOMORROW. WELL, I AM DELIGHTED

THAT YOU DIDN'T SHIP OUT. DELIGHTED. YES. WE NEED TO TALK. DAVE, WHAT IS THE POIN OF FIXATING ON LUCIEN

LIKE THIS? THE POINT? [LAUGHING]

NO, COME HERE. LOOK, MAYBE I AM

FIXATING. BUT EVERYONE'S

DRAWN TO HIM. I MEAN, YOU ARE. ADMIT IT. COME ON,

ADMIT IT, ALLEN.

NO, NO, I-- NO, LUCIEN

IS THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. LU FOUND YOU

AND HE FOUND JACK

AND HE FOUND JOAN, AND LU MADE

THIS WHOLE SCENE HAPPEN BECAUSE OF

THIS AMAZING THING

THAT HE HAS. AND, ANYWAY,

I SAW HIM FIRST. AND I WANTED HIM FIRST. I SAW HIM AT CAMP WEHILO. DID I TELL YOU THAT I WAS

HIS-- HIS CAMP COUNSELOR?

YES. YEAH, SEVERAL TIMES. SO, IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU

IN THE SLIGHTEST THAT HE USES YOU

TO DO ERRANDS? NOT IF I KEEPS US CLOSE, ALLEN. I WILL DO ANYTHING

TO KEEP US CLOSE. OH, HE'S ALWAYS

BEEN A DEVIL. YOU KNOW,

NAUGHTIEST BOY:

IN THE CAMP. I'M GONNA GO FIND HIM. [SIGHS] DON'T YOU THINK

IT'S A LITTLE DRASTIC, SAILING ALL THE WAY TO FRANCE

JUST TO GET AWAY FROM DAVE? IT'S NOT AS DRASTIC

AS WHEN DAVE QUIT TEACHING

TO BECOME:

A JANITOR IN NEW YORK

JUST TO BE NEAR ME. I'M NOT HOLDING DAVE UP AS THE STANDARD

OF REASONABLE BEHAVIOR. BUT WHY DO YOU LET HIM

WRITE YOUR FRESHMAN

LIT PAPERS WHEN YOU'RE MORE THAN CAPABLE

OF DISCOURSING ON THE GREA FRESHMAN THEMES? DAVE GETS A KICK

OUT OF DOING IT FOR ME. WHO AM I TO DENY HIM

SOME SIMPLE PLEASURES? BECAUSE DAVE EXPECTS

SOMETHING FROM THE DEAL. THAT, LUCIEN,

IS REASONABLE. HE'S PATHETIC,

HE'S THE IDIOT. HE'S THE HUNCHBACK

OF NOTRE DAM WITHOU THE HUNCH. YES, DAVE IS PATHETIC, BUT HE'S A PERSON,

NOT A LITERARY CONCEIT. THAT'S WHY I GOTTA

GET OUT OF HERE. YOU DO NOT NEED

TO SAIL TO FRANCE.

CHEAP MELODRAMATICS. YOU PRETEND

LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING

AWAY FROM THE PROBLEM, BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU,

LUCIEN, ARE CREATING IT. WELL, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT TO DO. IT'S SIMPLE--

STOP USING DAVE. POLITELY PULL HIM ASIDE

AND TELL HIM TO LEAVE

YOU ALONE. CLEAN AND SIMPLE. TAKE CARE OF THIS,

LUCIEN. THESE THEATRICS

ARE BECOMING A REAL BORE. WELL, EXCEPT FOR YOU,

THE AUDIENCE SEEMS ENTERTAINED. AMATEUR THEATRICS. FRESHMAN THEATRICS. DOESN'T EVEN ASPIRE

TO THE SOPHOMORIC. STRICTLY NOWHERE. IF YOU MUST LEAVE, FINE. BUT DO IT SOON, LUCIEN. BEFORE SOMETHING NASTY

HAPPENS HERE. I'M SERIOUS. I'VE GOT 2.75 2.77. ALL RIGHT,

HE BETTER NOT BE GONE. MUST YOU SHIP OU AGAIN TOMORROW? NOW, LUCIEN, UH... I'LL MISS YOU VERY MUCH. I THINK HE KNOWS

HOW YOU FEEL, DAVE. WELL, I'M NEVER SURE

IF I ACCURATELY CONVEY

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