Barry Munday

Tortilla chips

are on my lips

And no one's pressed

against my hips

Bad beat poet

late at night

The city gets bright,

I can't see

The neon lights

don't work on me

I am no watcher

in the fight

Charlie says

Nobody's got

A strange

and hidden power and

No one is really

beautiful

They're all just

Mediocre men of the hour

Mediocre models

of the hour

Mediocre men

You take me places

and you make cool faces

When our sex erases

The lonely past

And you found me

when I was first

And 10 against 11 men

Who could kick my ass

But anyway

It's probably

Gonna pass.

Barry, are you awake?

Honey, just relax.

Doctor says everything's

gonna be just fine.

Until that day,

I couldn't imagine living

for anything other than women.

You see,

there's a moment that exists

at the edge

of sexual success

for which

there is no equal...

the addictive seconds

just after uncertainty

and immediately preceding

touching the gold.

It's Christmas.

It's with this

in mind

that I relate

the events leading to

the involuntary removal

of my testicles.

- Yep. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. No, that's

gonna be great.

We can do that.

I don't know how you do it, Lucy.

Do what?

Look like a model.

A supermodel, actually.

A super-duper model.

Hey, I don't know what

you got goin' on later,

but I was thinkin'

of hittin' the happy hour

over at Chili's.

Got a workout partner...

I don't date people

at my workplace.

Who said date?

TGIF.

Maybe not...

maybe not Chili's.

Everpea has got

this really rad nacho bar.

Why don't you

date people at your work?

I just don't.

You just...

You're probably right.

You're smart.

It's a smart idea.

You got beauty

and brains.

You guys fall in love,

and then have babies.

Beautiful babies

with blue eyes.

TGIF.

All right.

What's up, Denise?

- Hey, you don't like nachos?

- Mm-mm.

No no no. I do!

Nacho time for me!

My dossbag, my sack

The family bling-bling

When I'm jumpin'

up and down

On my trampoline

To the belly button

and a slap to the taint

Rushin' to my head,

I think I'm gonna faint...

- What's up?

- Where you been?

Thought I had a possibility.

My tires are stinky.

What?

That's a catchphrase,

somethin' I'm workin' on.

- How we lookin'?

- Sh*t, place is a hatchery. It's stupid.

- I wanna be an architect.

- Whoa, over there.

See it? Dress suit, sneakers.

Work hard, play hard.

I could go back to school, be an architect.

People like architects.

Dude, what

are you talkin' about?

You make really good

money at yourjob.

I just... I just...

I don't think insurance is,

like, all that interesting,

you know, as a lifestyle.

- Whoa.

- Caught 'em peekin'.

- You ready? Let's rock 'n' roll.

- Sweet.

Hey, so if they ask,

I'm gonna tell 'em I'm an architect.

Oh hey, tell 'em

I work with kids.

Hold these.

No no, seriously,

I used to get beat up

like twice a week

for having such thick eyelashes.

- Is that your card?

- Oh, no.

All the way to the seventh grade,

and that's when I decided

that's it, and I went

for my black belt.

Is that your card?

- No.

- No.

- That's so sad.

- Yeah.

- I'd kill for those.

- Well, now yeah, sure.

- Is that your card?

- Yes!

Oh my God,

that is incredible!

That's what we do.

Oh my God.

How'd you do that?

Come on.

Did you have that

in your mouth the whole time?

What is that?

Oh, it's my kitty cat.

Mmm, it is sparkly

and beautiful.

Thanks.

Are you

a cat person?

I love cats.

- Yeah?

- Meow.

- I love p*ssy...

- What?

...cats too.

Excuse me,

you want me to close out

your tab, sir?

Sir?

Somebody's dad show up?

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