Barbershop 2: Back in Business

Get out of the way! Move!

Come on.

Come on, man.

Get up.

Come on.

Shoot!

Suspect out of the way.

Heading toward Exchange.

Move it!

Out of the way!

Hold it!

Don't move! Don't move!

Get away from that window!

Get over there!

Do what I say!

Oh, shit. Pick up my meat.

- You hungry, brother?

- Do I look hungry? Get over there!

I might be a little hungry,

but get your hands up!

- He ain't got no gun.

- You think I ain't got a gun?

- Shoot me, goddamn it!

- I'll shoot you.

You mother...

No. Come on, Hank!

Back up, back up!

What you know about

a brother needing a job?

- Big Floyd Patterson haircut head.

- You don't look like Floyd.

Shoot. I just wanted

to barbecue.

It's the goddamn Fourth of July.

Can't a black man have

a goddamn Fourth of July, too?

- Open up! It's the police!

- Sweet Jesus.

Kick it in!

- Don't mess with my conk.

- You want a barbecue?

Is there a problem, officers?

Yeah. We're looking for a thief.

You seen one?

Me? No, I haven't seen a thi...

Hank, you seen

a thief around here?

- No, no, not around here.

- No, me, either.

No thief.

You guys aren't

celebrating the holiday?

Sure. We're just finishing up

our last customer.

I said play

like you cuttin' it.

Eddie, you can't talk about people

just 'cause they biracial.

- Why not?

- 'Cause that's silly.

They can take it

like anybody else.

All I'm saying, Calvin,

is black folk love to take credit

for they half-black brothers

and sisters till somethin' goes sour.

You know, like Tiger Woods...

we claim him.

Jennifer Beals. What the boy mama

used to be on The Jeffersons?

- Lenny Kravitz.

- Lenny Kravitz... count him.

As soon as they go freak out

just a little bit,

go a little crazy, get a little glitter

like Mariah Carey,

then all of a sudden it's the other half

that went looney tunes.

- What about Vin Diesel?

- I don't know what he is. Half car.

What black man

do you take credit for?

I'll tell you who I don't want

to take credit for... that D.C. Sniper.

I was mad when I found out

dude was black.

Hold on there, Terri.

The D.C. Sniper is like

the Jackie Robinson of crime.

What?!

Tell them, Eddie.

He broke into the white leagues

with that crime.

That crime took planning.

Not only planning, it took math.

You know, it took math

to figure out all them trajectories

to shoot from the back

of an automobile.

That's white-folk shit right there.

With the problems we got,

black folks used to could say,

"At least we ain't crazy. "

Our crimes made sense.

Ain't got no money,

rob somebody with money.

Black folks are just as crazy

as white folks.

Mike Tyson...

he's like three crazy people.

Prince?

Hold on, hold on now.

He half Cherokee or something.

Don't put him in with us.

DVDs, CDs. Ike Turner's

greatest hits with Tina on the cover.

Got something

you ain't gonna believe...

R. Kelly on tape

with grown women.

I got Grandmas Gone Wild.

You ever seen wrinkles in a thong?

Fred, don't buy nothing

from that fool.

That Nemo tape I got for my son

has a crack deal on it.

- Why you always lyin' on me?

- Ain't nobody lyin' on you.

Line me up.

I got a meeting in 19 minutes.

Head to your meeting

'cause I got next.

K- Rod called and booked

the spot after that,

but I can get you at 3:45

or 11:
00 on Tuesday.

You a superstar now?

The Eminem of the barber world?

Yeah, that's why

they call me Slim Fadin'.

This used to be my chair.

Wasn't but two seconds ago

your pasty Pilgrim ass

was sitting at that front seat

and nobody was feeling you.

Well, they're feeling me now.

I'll touch you up.

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