Bank Chor

1

As you can see...

...we're standing outside

Bank of Indians.

We've just been informed that...

...the bank has been taken over

by some masked men.

Are they robbers?

Their motives are unclear

and we can only speculate.

- It's a Saturday...

- Bomb-Squad!

We Mam...

...and an estimated

75-100 people...

...employees and customers...

mare being held hostage

inside the bank.

As you can see...

...the police has barricaded

the street...

...and the force is present here

in large numbers...

...however it is impossible

to get any details...

...about the situation inside

the bank at the moment.

We're standing outside

Bank of Indians...

...and we have ACP Akhilesh Aane

of the Mumbai Police with us...

...to tell us about the situation.

Sir, what can you tell us about what's

going on inside at the moment?

Uh-

Firstly, let me tell you that

there's no need to panic...

...as the police is here!

Thank you, sir.

But can you tell us how many

people are inside the bank...

...and who exactly

are these masked men?

Well, some robbers seem

to have have entered the bank.

And...

...according to a few witnesses...

...they're dressed up as saints.

While some say...

...they're in animal masks.

Which animals, sir?

A horse or...

an elephant... actually...

...we aren't sure either right now.

As you can see'

even the police is unaware of what's

exactly happening here, right now.

Sir, my next question to you is...

That's enough madam.

Please stop recording.

Stop all of this.

That's enough now.

- Thank you! - Sir, we just

need to finish this byte...

Get going, now stop this.

ONE HOUR EARLIER

Hey kid, where's my tea?

Hey kid...

...there's no taste in the food

you serve us.

Add some salt to your food, buddy!

Hello, Bank of Indians.

Yes, we're only open

till 2:
30 on Saturdays.

Please keep sir's government

issued firearm safely.

- Please don't chew my brains...

- Son! At least listen to me...

- Security!

- Holy Moley!

I mean Praise the Lord!

You fool, control your mouth...

...or I will lose control

and end up cursing you.

O learned sir, is your curse

restricted to him...

...or will we all get it's vibes?

Each one of you will be cursed.

Everyone will be cursed.

The entire bank will be cursed.

(Chanting) Om heem kleem!

Move, idiot!

Security!

Security!

What is happening?

What is all this nonsense?

Hey, who was that?

It's done, it's done, it's done.

Now?

You're this way.

Take it, you take it too!

Hands uuuup!

This bank has been kidnapped!

What happened?

- Why isn't this gun firing!?

- You think mine's working?

- I don't know.

- Should I fire to check'?

Tm...

Oh my god! GUN!

He's got a gun!

You stupid fools!

Calm down.

Stop. Stop it!

Why is this gun networking?

Because according to Feng Shui...

...the gun had to be fired

by the elephant...

NOT the horse.

I had told you,

let me be the horse.

It would've fired at the first go

in my hands.

If anyone has to fire the gun,

it's me.

I'm anyway having trouble breathing

through this stupid mask...

...and you're chewing my brains

to top that!

Both of you, please shut up!

It would've been a better idea

to get you guys donkey masks.

How will you become the horse?

You're not even a stable person.

Looks like, I'll have to do

everything myself.

How will you become the horse?

You're not even a stable person.

Shut up! I'm anyway having

trouble breathing.

Everybody down!

Doooooown.

DOWN!

NOT YOU TWO!

No, I was...

Meaning, we were...

Just showing them how to go down.

Thank you!

Ladies and gentlemen.

Say hello to your new and

improved. Fresh and fragrant.

Bank Robber.

(3

G-B

G-B-M

G-B-M-L

G-B-M-L-R

Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Let's rock!

- Excuse me'?

- Hey!

- What is it?

- Sir, um...

I think maybe, you guys perhaps...

...may have entered

the wrong bank, sir.

Why? ls this a sperm bank?

If you're done laughing,

can we begin work?

Go and shut the main door first.

Some 10-15 people

have already escaped.

Shut it from the inside.

It's a brand new gun.

And a gun is most dangerous

in inexperienced hands.

Don't mess with me or this time

I'll give you a real curse.

One with a bullet.

Long drive in my car.

Full speed and very far.

We won't stop for any cocoons...

At least don't make me sit

next to these people.

Oh please.

Oh... Oh trust me.

Recite am THE Babe Sehgal.

Today's rappers like using

two yo's in their songs.

Me'? I use only one yo!

OIIIII!

Gende!

IT IS HIM!

Yo!

This baldy'?

Baba Sehgal?

I have to make a viral out of this.

Let's make one, quickly!

Yo.

Man...

This 2G connection!

Manager, where's the Wi-Fi switch?

Wi-Fi?

Umm...

In my cabin.

Under my table.

- I'll be right back.

- It's a red coloured button.

Yo brother!

Should I rap something for you?

Missy so hot. In the aerobics.

Wearing leotards.

Very very very smart!

Just shut up!

Idiot, save your poems

for that Baba fanboy, not me!

You didn't like it?

Try another one.

Nobody says it. Neither will I.

How did you ever know.

Hey bud, why why why.

Check it out, look it up.

Look at her move.

Like a deer in a groove.

I'll go, hold her, flirt with her,

sing for her and she'll say...

I couldn't find the vault inside...

Oh my god!

Hey!

Are you alright? What happened?

You're al-alright?

I'll remove this mask,

just breathe.

- Just take deep breaths.

- Gulab!

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