Bad Match
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2017
- 90 min
- 129 Views
1
Harris?
You must be Rachel.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Oh.
Oh, sorry, I'm a hugger.
That's, that's okay.
I'm super awkward at the
beginning of these things.
Oh, well, that is why
they invented alcohol.
Hey, man, uh, could we
get one more scotch,
and for Rachel, a...
wait, wait.
Uh, let me guess.
What are you doing?
Oh, I can sense a
person's drink aura.
I just need a moment of silence.
My drink aura?
Sorry.
Vodka tonic.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait, I'm
Rach, I don't know about that.
I did not think that.
Far be it from
me to tell you no.
Two tequila shots.
Thanks, man.
You don't mess around, huh?
I guess not.
Leaving?
Oh, hey, yeah.
Didn't want to wake you.
I got work in the morning.
Plus, I have self-diagnosed
restless leg syndrome, so.
But, uh, hey.
I had a lot of fun.
Me too.
All right, sleep tight.
Boom!
Got you again, ShadowMan.
Suck my dick, p*ssy.
No, come on, man.
It's too early for
that kind of talk.
It's not too early
for your mom to suck my dick.
Eh, clever.
Oh, and I win again.
See you next time, Shadow.
Hope you have a
good day in school.
What grade you in again?
You have a good day being a fag.
Easy with the
homophobia there, kid.
Shut up.
You got it.
Hey.
Hey, morning.
What's up, man?
Mandarin, Jose.
150 likes.
F***in' clickbait.
Cute, who's she?
She's my ex.
She used to call
blow jobs blowies.
Now she's engaged to
Richard Rodemeier.
This f***in' bald piece of sh*t.
Looks like a banker.
What do you think he does?
You think he banks?
Let's have a look.
Captain Children's Hospital.
Oh, no.
That's a bummer.
Whatever, man, he still
looks like a piece of sh*t.
Of that I have no doubt.
It's not healthy, you
I know, I know, man.
I just can't help it.
Robby, boom.
Harris, Robby, morning.
- Hi.
- Hey, Terri.
The partners and I
made a decision about
the Harry's Auto Insurance spot.
You both had damn good ideas.
But Harris, we're
going with you.
Thanks, Terri.
Well, they're gonna
be here on Wednesday.
You'll be ready
to pitch by then?
Absolutely.
Excellent, keep
up the good work.
You too, Robby.
Better luck next time, Robert.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think you just got it all
figured out, don't you?
I like to think so, yeah.
Linda, 26.
"I like adventure,
whiskey, sarcasm, Jenga."
She's cute, should
I go left or right?
It's your choice, man.
Mm-mm.
It's your profile.
Eh, I pretty much
always swipe right.
Even if you don't like 'em?
That's putting the
cart before the horse.
At this point, it's
just a numbers game.
Say you swipe right
100 times a day, right?
Out of those 100 likes,
you get 20 matches,
out of those 20 matches,
you message 10,
out of those 10, only
and out of that handful, you
end up meeting up with one.
What that means is, the
more you like initially,
the higher your chances
are of meeting up
with someone later.
The Tao of swiping.
here we go.
Boom!
- It's a match. God damn.
- Thank you very much.
Technology, it's a great thing.
You know, if this was
around when I was single...
Yeah?
Okay, keep browsing.
Oh!
What about this one?
Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Tzu,
I apologize sincerely.
Okay.
No match.
I'm sorry.
It's all right, it happens.
Oh, you're getting
a text from Lauren.
Uh-huh.
Oh, dear, I gotta split.
Lemme guess.
- Lauren.
- Mm-hmm.
She's another
match I'm guessing?
That is correct.
What happened to the last one?
- What last one?
- Uh, wow.
I guess it's hard to
keep track of both.
I don't know her name,
the last one you saw.
Is that what you
do, you go see them?
- Oh, you mean Rachel.
- Rachel, Rachel.
Yes, she's cool.
Yeah, we had fun.
I just didn't get
the girlfriend vibe.
Oh, okay, what's
the girlfriend vibe?
Well, you know how you felt
when you first met Lydia?
Yeah?
Yeah, well, I felt, not that.
Okay, yeah, I see.
Oh, there she is.
Wait, you had her come here?
Yeah, so?
Dude, I thought we
were gonna part ways.
We are.
I'm gonna go to that
table over there.
You're ridiculous.
Hey!
I'm Harris.
This is for you.
Thank you.
Jeez.
Can I get you a drink?
Sure!
Wait, let me guess.
Well, hello.
- 'Sup?
- Yo.
Who is that?
Girl I matched with.
Seems to be really into
Sonic the Hedgehog.
Listen, um, can
you do me a favor?
What's that?
Can we swap d*cks
just for tonight?
- Guess who?
- Whoa!
Gotcha.
Scared the sh*t out of me.
Whoops!
You know how to
make an intro, huh?
I tend to just go for the hug.
Is this for me?
Uh, yes, actually.
It's kind of cheesy, but.
Very sweet of you.
Hey there.
- Hi.
- What can I do for you?
Uh, can I get a...
Wait, wait, wait, let me guess.
I'm seeing, red.
Uh, vodka cranberry.
Oh, my God, yeah.
Wait, I'm also
seeing tequila shots.
Yeah, I love tequila shots.
All right, here we go.
I like your hair,
it's different.
Oh, yeah, I need
to update my pics.
No, it's cool.
Can I tell you
something embarrassing?
I'd be offended if you didn't.
When I was a little kid,
I got my hair
bleached like Eminem.
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
Totally.
Take that secret to the grave.
Yeah.
All right, a vodka cranberry.
Tequila shots.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
Down the hatch.
I haven't thought about
some of these games
since I was a little kid.
I mean, I used to be a huge
Sonic fan back in the day.
Oh, my God, are
you f***in' serious?
Sonic is like my life.
- You don't say?
- Yeah!
I beat the game once,
no cheat codes.
No, I always
thought Chaos Emeralds
would be a great band name.
That's genius.
Shall we?
Yeah.
Oh, my God, I love this song.
What?
Falling Still?
Seriously?
I know these guys.
- Personally.
- No, you don't.
Uh-huh, did the ad
campaign for their new album.
They got a show coming
up, we should go.
I'll get us backstage.
I would f***ing love that.
All right.
You know, I knew we'd get along.
I could tell just
from your profile pic.
I knew.
What's your sign?
Uh, Virgo, I think.
Oh, my God!
I'm a Pisces, we're like
the most compatible signs.
Well, what do you know?
Oh, f***.
- What?
- My ex just liked my post.
I'm sorry?
I think he's just
trying to f*** with me.
By liking your, uh...
I have the best idea.
Uh.
Act like you're
having a good time.
Okay.
Oh, my God, that's great.
You're a good actor.
We make a good team.
Hi.
Hey!
Hey.
I'm just gonna head out, okay?
You don't want to sleep over?
I, I got work tomorrow, so.
Well, you can just leave
from here in the morning.
Venice is kinda far
from where I work.
Plus, I gotta shower.
Well, you could
just shower here.
I could, but, you know, gotta
change and everything, so.
shirts you could borrow.
Don't worry, they're
my brother's.
It's just a lot
easier if I go home.
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"Bad Match" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bad_match_3458>.
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