Backcountry

(eerie music)

(flies buzzing)

(bell rings)

(blastoff noise)

- You ready?

- Okay.

(radio chatter)

(rock music)

How am I doing?

You sure you wanna know?

Does your boyfriend

always get his way?

Yes.

Does he admit when he's wrong?

Never.

Does your boyfriend know how

to build a fire with no matches?

The answer is D, who cares.

A, yes, very well.

Sorry, that question's not on here.

(Alex):
It should be.

Sorry, so you're still at zero.

(laughing)

- Noooo!

- Oh yeah!

# Never put your hat on the bed, son

# Never put your hat on the bed

# 'Cause if your hat's on the bed

# You might wake up dead

# So don't you ever

put your hat on the bed

# Always keep an edge on your knife, son

# Always keep an edge on your knife

# 'Cause a good sharp

edge is a man's best hedge

# Against the big uncertainties of life

# Yes a good sharp edge

is a man's best hedge

# Against the uncertain varities of life

Put your hands on the wheel!

# (mumble) sharp an old knife

# Like the ones who give the advice

# Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-oo

# Never sell the old .22 #

(dramatic sting)

(ominous music)

-(Man):
Hello?

- Hey!

(Man):
Just give me

a second, will you?

Yeah, sure.

- How you doing?

- (Alex):
Good, good, good.

We're reserved.

Under Louis.

- (Ranger):
What's the name?

- Alex Louis.

(Ranger):
Yeah,

I saw you in here.

You're ready to go,

your canoe will be right

down there by the water.

Bring it back Monday at five.

That's rig ht,

back to work Tuesday.

- Need a map?

- (Alex):
No, I'm good.

You don't want a map?

Nope, no,

I know this park well.

It's kind of end of

the season, right?

I mean, the weather

can change on you.

Just turn on a dime.

- Less people.

-Amen to that.

You mind me asking you, Mr.

No Map, where you're headed?

Blackfoot Trail.

I can't wait to show her.

First time here,

it's gonna be awesome.

I got some bad news for you,

I'm really sorry about

this, but Blackfoot Trail's

closed for the season.

Why?

Had to, there were some

yahoos tramping around

there and

disrespecting everything,

This is a treasured site.

I don't have to tell you,

I guess,

and Parks and Recreation

wanna keep it that way.

Going to Blackfoot Trail is kind

of the whole point of this trip.

It's 500 bucks if you're

caught up there, each.

So that'd be a thousand bucks,

expensive little camping trip.

Honey!

Jenn, you ready?

- Yup.

- Oh, hang on.

Yeah rodeo,

there's your medical kit

and there's a whistle in there.

Try to bring that back

and I'll try not to charge you.

A thousand bucks?

(laughs)

(Ranger):
You're pretty good!

Bye.

You have a nice trip.

(Jenny. Thanks.

- Really?

- Last one.

Come on, babe.

No, this is really important,

you knowl've been

waiting forever for this.

I'm just, just give me...

They're all important.

Can't it wait 'til we get back?

Okay, I'm done, good?

All right,

I don't believe you, but--

Well, putting it away, so--

Oh hang on, hang on.

Let's take a picture,

let's mark the departure.

Put it to good use, right?

Okay.

Ready?

(mumbles)

Yeah, one of us looks good.

All right.

(dramatic music)

- Hey.

- Hey, have a good one!

(Alex):
Thanks a lot.

(9 runts)

- F***!

-You okay?

F***, f***, that

f***ing hurt like a b*tch!

(Jenn):
You sure you're okay?

Yeah, yeah,

I'll just walk it off.

This is for you.

It'll scare anything away.

You'll see.

Probably won't need it.

Got it taken care of already.

Look what I got.

When did you get that?

I got it a few days ago.

We're not gonna need it.

Do you wanna have a good time

on this trip, or do you want

me to be freaking out?

This is what makes me feel safe.

Okay.

Well if you're gonna have it,

it's useless in your bag,

give it to me.

Just gotta clip it to

your belt, all right?

You're not gonna need it.

Bear spray.

I wonder what other

goodies you have in there.

Nothing, I'm serious, I don't

have anything in there.

See, there's nothing.

Oh, come on!

Seriously?

This is a road flare--

I know what it is!

Yeah, this is for when

your car breaks down

on the side of the highway.

You know this,

I know you know this.

Jenn, come on,

if you wanted a flare

I could've picked

you up a pen flare,

they sell them at

any camping store.

- There's your flare.

- Thank you.

You ready?

I think so.

Okay.

(grunts) Oh my God.

- (Alex):
You good?

-Yes.

- Huh?

- What, sorry, what?

Jenn, you know we'll be lucky to

see anything bigger

than a chipmunk, right?

Mmmhm.

(dramatic music)

- Hi.

- Hey.

(scoffs) No!

Hey look at that, that's cute.

We should take it.

- This a good spot?

-Yeah.

Counselor, back up.

(laughs)

Do you wanna turn

me on right now?

- Is it working?

-Yeah.

It's pretty hot.

Speaking of...

Do you remember the little

swimming hole we walked by?

Nope, I don't.

Really?

You said you would.

(Jenn):
I didn't say that.

- Yes, you did.

- No, I said maybe.

No, no, no,

you said yes.

Come on, babes.

No, it's like when you

say "Do you wanna

order Chinese food

tonight?" and I go "Maybe,"

and then we get Italian.

I'm gonna be all

lonely by myself.

(Jenn):
Well no one's

making you do this!

Stop m

Oh my God, please,

what is this?!

Don't leave me hanging, babe.

(laughs)

Okay, okay, fine.

- You ready?

- No.

Come on.

Five, four, three-two-one!

(screaming)

woo,

- (Alex):
Come on!

-(Jenn):
No!

Woo, woo!

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