Army of the Damned

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Are you sure nobody's going to see?

I mean, look where we are.

No one's around us.

Don't worry about it.

Jimmy...

Relax, baby. C'mon.

Close your eyes.

- What?

Close them!

Alright.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

That's twice in one week, pal.

Does Ashley know about this?

Jimmy!

Alright, c'mon sweetheart.

Let's put your clothes back on, huh?

And get your asses back to school

Before I call your parents.

I guess we can close the

book on that case, huh?

Welcome to Salem county.

So, uh, are you guys just

in town for the night, or...

uh, tonight and tomorrow.

Depending on how much footage we get.

Oh well, I mean, hey

you're in town, right?

Because I know some great places.

I was just thinking, maybe

we could go get a drink,

Or some food.

You don't date cops.

Donut hole?

I wonder if we'll be able to film a

Segment with them tonight.

I mean, can you believe it?

An episode of the force.

Filming right here.

In Salem county.

And we're cops.

They follow you around with

cameras for five months waiting

For something exciting to

happen, and they end up with 15

Minutes of some fat broad

beating on her husband, smoking

Newports, wearing a tweetie bird shirt.

Trust me.

Nothing happens on this job.

And when it does, you

don't want a camera around.

Would you look at this.

Unbelievable...

I think it gives people an

authentic, organic perspective

On law enforcement.

Like I said, terrible show.

And what are they doing here anyway?

Detroit, Cleveland, I get it.

But Salem county?

Nothing ever happens here.

Nice people live here.

Nice people don't do sh*t.

We could use a couple

of bad guys in this town.

Shut up, who told you that?

They told me...

yeah, they showed up

here first. I should know.

They're not here right now,

but they were here earlier.

It's Kayla and, like,

a guy with a camera.

Stan and I watch the show every tuesday.

The point is, I know what Im

talking about, so whoever told

You that, is a lier.

Were you on TV?

I'd be so embarrassed.

Yeah...

Kaylas kind of pretty I guess,

but in real life she looks a

Little trampy.

Suzanne, Ive gotta call you back.

Yeah, Ill try to get you an autograph.

Ok, yep, bye bye.

Salem county police department.

What is your emergency?

Hello?

Please.

This call is being traced.

Hello, can you hear me? Is anyone there?

He's coming. He's coming.

Ok, we have your address.

The police are on the way.

Everythings, going

to be alright, honey.

Just stay on the line with me.

Stay on the line with me, honey.

Anybody up in rustic Salem county?

We got a domestic disturbance,

possible child endangerment

On 101 dean parkway.

Copy that.

Car 3 enroute to 101 dean parkway.

Ten four, back...

Say again.

We're losing you.

Let's roll.

Ok, just be yourself.

Pretend the camera's not even there.

We try to give our viewers

an authentic, organic

Perspective on law enforcement.

I look organic?

Alright, we are now recording.

Let me get some levels

from you, sheriff.

Uhh, what do you want me to say?

Why don't you start off by telling us

A little bit about yourself?

How you got started on the force.

Uh, let's see... how

did I get on the force?

Well, I grew up in this town.

My dad was the sheriff,

so I went to the academy

Right out of high school.

Worked in the city for a while at first.

Did a lot of undercover work.

Uh, homicide, things like that.

And believe it or not, after

all that, I came back home.

Kind of funny. Well

not really funny, but...

my dad passed away a few years

ago and when he was dying he

Asked me to watch over his

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