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There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly
women are at a Catskills mountain
resort, and one of 'em says: "Boy, the
The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and
such ... small portions." Well, that's
essentially how I feel about life. Full
and unhappiness, and it's all over much
too quickly. The-the other important
joke for me is one that's, uh, usually
attributed to Groucho Marx, but I think
its relation to the unconscious. And it
goes like this-I'm paraphrasing: Uh ...
member." That's the key joke of my adult
women. Tsch, you know, lately the
strangest things have been going
through my mind, 'cause I turned forty,
life crisis or something, I don't know.
I'm not one o' those characters, you know.
opposed to say the, uh, distinguished
gray, for instance, you know? 'Less I'm
get my mind around that. You know, I-I
through my mind and-and examining my life
screw-up come, you know, and a year ago we
were... tsch, in love. You know, and-and-and
... And it's funny, I'm not-I'm not a
morose type. I'm not a depressive character.
I guess. I was brought up in Brooklyn
during World War II.
INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE-DAY
cigarette and listening.
(To the doctor)
He's been depressed. All off a sudden,
he can't do anything.
Why are you depressed, Alvy?
Tell Dr. Flicker.
(Young Alvy sits, his head down. His
mother answers for him)
It's something he read.
(Puffing on his cigarette and
Something he read, huh?
(His head still down)
The universe is expanding.
The universe is expanding?
(Looking up at the doctor)
Well, the universe is everything, and if
and that would be the end of everything!
What is that your business?
(she turns back to the doctor)
What's the point?
(Excited, gesturing with her hands)
What has the universe got to do with it?
You're here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not
(Heartily, looking down at Alvy)
yet, Alvy. And we've gotta try to enjoy
ourselves while we're here. Uh?