Anjelah Johnson: Not Fancy

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Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise

for Anjelah Johnson!

Oh, hi.

It's so cool. Look at us, guys.

We're here, Southern California.

Hoo, hoo

Um, I don't know if you guys notice

anything different about me.

Hey, short hair, don't care.

Hoo, hoo

I cut my hair, y'all.

You know what I noticed?

People judge you based on your hairstyle.

Ever notice that? Right?

'Cause I used to have really long hair,

and I'd wear it in a ponytail every day

'cause I didn't know how to do

anything to my hair, right?

So just, ponytail every day.

So... people thought I was a lesbian.

Hey, where all my lesties at?

Hoo, hoo

Thank you for coming.

All my lesties.

That means a lesbian bestie.

Lestie.

I wore my hair in a ponytail.

Everybody thought I was a lesbian, right?

So now I cut my hair short.

So... people still think I'm a lesbian.

I think it's more than my hair

that gives off the vibe,

'cause sometimes

I'm a little tomboy, right?

Like, I call everybody "bro."

"Hey, what's up, bro?"

Everybody's "bro,"

no matter who I'm talking to.

"Hey, Anj, how was the movie last night?"

"Bro.

Bro, it was so good.

Seriously, Mom, you should see it."

So good.

Or, like,

if somebody gives me a compliment,

I usually just say,

"Oh, thank you," right?

But sometimes I'm like,

"Oh, for real? That's wassup."

"That's wassup."

Who says "That's wassup"?

I'll tell you. Boys, lesbians and me.

That's wassup.

I am married, though.

Uh, to a man, to clarify.

Um, and here's the thing.

My ring is fancy, right?

My ring is fancy, but I'm not fancy, okay?

I mean, like, my chandeliers?

These are some fancy chandeliers,

but I rented those.

I mean, like, I'm not fancy.

This is how fancy I am not,

you guys, okay?

I live in Los Angeles,

so every now and then

I have to go to these, like,

red carpet Hollywood events

where you get dressed up all nice

and you walk the red carpet

and they take pictures of you

and they go,

"Anjelah, who are you wearing?"

"Oh, uh... Forever 21!"

"I got these at Claire's right here."

"They're gold, but now

they're like rose gold."

I'm not fancy.

Even on planes.

I'm not fancy on planes, you guys.

Like, my husband and I

just flew to Europe.

And we flew first-class,

but it was like a fancy first-class

where, like, everybody got

their own private, individual,

like, spaceship-type seat

and there was all kinds

of buttons everywhere.

So I was a little confused at first.

I was like, "Wait a minute. Uh...

am I flying the plane?"

"Uh, excuse me.

Um...

I didn't do real good in school."

And, like, all I wanted to do

was lean my chair back a little bit

so I could relax while

I was watching my movie, right?

So I'm trying to find

the "lean back a little bit" button.

"Okay, that's it right here.

That's good."

"I'm laying down.

I'll just sit up. It's fine."

"This how rich people sit?"

It was fancy.

And they had hundreds of movies

for us to choose from, right?

We were going to Europe,

so I wanted to be prepared

for all I was about to experience there.

So I decided to watch the movie, Taken.

It's a good movie.

At one point, I leaned over to my husband.

I was like, "Uh, babe...

don't get taken."

"'Cause I ain't gonna

be able to find you."

Serious, this guy is so smart...

Liam Neeson.

He's, like, the smartest guy in the world.

You guys, if you ever hear

about me getting kidnapped,

don't call the police.

Call Liam Neeson, please.

This guy is solving crimes

from across the world on the phone.

On a flip phone.

He don't got a data plan, nothin'.

He's gonna figure it out.

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