Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

NARRATOR:
There are many

places we could begin

the next chapter of the

legend of Ron Burgundy.

This is one such place.

(SCREAMING)

However, we won't

begin our tale here.

No, our story begins in a

place all newsmen dream of.

In New York City.

(UPBEAT RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

Ron Burgundy!

That lady's got an ass like

the Loch Ness Monster.

Thing is mysterious and

ever sought after.

Ron, aren't you going

to say something to him?

Hey, when you've got an

ass like the North Star,

wise men are going

- to want to follow it.

- (SCOFFS)

NARRATOR:
It was a time before

cell phones and steroids.

And for Ron and his

now-wife Veronica,

life was good.

RON:
The Tooth Fairy's exposed

breast made the child uncomfortable.

(CLEARS THROAT) The Bishop wore

buttless chaps to the bat mitzvah.

Bat mitzvah.

The garden gnome had

a normal-size penis.

(VERONICA WHOOPING)

Corningstone. Corningstone.

(DOING VOCAL EXERCISES)

(IN SHRILL VOICE)

Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no!

They're coming in through

the back door! Oh, no!

(WBC NEWS THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

- Oh, no!

- (SINGING)

Grab the children!

Save the children!

Five, four...

- Have a great broadcast.

- You, too, darling.

(MOUTHING)

Good evening.

This is the weekend edition of

WBC News at 6:
30.

I'm Ron Burgundy.

And I'm Veronica Corningstone.

Our top story tonight.

The U.N. today announced

sanctions against...

When the broadcast is over,

send these two up to my office.

Time to make a change.

(DINGING)

Rumor has it that after 35

years of manning the helm,

Mack Tannen is thinking

about stepping down.

That's right.

(EXHALES)

Do you...

Do you think we could be...

We could be getting the

Nightly News, Ron?

I think that's exactly

what's about to happen.

Oh, my God. That's what's

happening, isn't it?

- I'm hyperventilating.

- Yes, I see that.

(HYPERVENTILATING)

Look at me. (LAUGHING)

Oh, you... Well.

I'm laughing like a

ventriloquist's dummy.

- You are.

- (LAUGHING)

Let's stop that before

we get in there.

Don't do that in there, darling.

VERONICA:
Mr. Tannen,

you are an inspiration, sir.

I've been doing the evening

news now for over 35 years.

- Done a hell of a job.

- Yes, sir.

A hell of a job!

I've gone through four wives.

I have six or seven kids that I haven't

got the time to tell I love them.

To be honest, they

sound a little needy.

And I killed four men in Okinawa.

W.W. Two.

And that was two weeks ago.

The point is, this is

a very demanding job.

Yes.

But I'm close to thinking that

you may have what it takes.

Now, let me look at you.

Oh, my God.

Would it be wrong to say

you smell terrific?

- Ron, please!

- Okay.

What are you?

Finnish?

Oddly enough, I'm 100%

full-blown Mexican.

From the state of Oaxaca.

VERONICA:
No, you're not, honey.

Hello, sir.

Oh, my heart is racing.

MACK:
Hmm.

I just have to say, this is

super creepy and unorthodox.

You like-a da merchandise, huh?

Sorry.

All right.

We're about to make

network news history.

- Veronica.

- Yes?

You're going to be the

first female full-time

network news anchor.

- Oh, my goodness!

- Oh! I knew it.

And you, Mr. Burgundy...

I'm going to be the first

lactose intolerant anchor.

- Mr. Burgundy.

- Yes?

You're fired.

Come again?

Fired.

You are the worst anchorman

I have ever seen.

But what did I do wrong?

Name one thing.

(YELLING) Korean soldiers

were fired upon in the DMZ!

Oh. Jeez, I am so sorry.

Someone put the story

in all capital letters,

and I... I thought

I was supposed to yell it.

President Parter...

Ah, sh*t! (SIGHS)

I mean, President Carter

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