
American Wedding
1
Well, Michelle, we did it.
Happy graduation.
You know,
living at my parents' house,
that's a temporary thing.
We've been going out for,
what, three years.
You're not,
like, getting bored
with things, are you?
Michelle, I'm gonna
ask you something
that I've never
asked you before.
Is it kinky?
I don't think so. No.
You don't have
to be embarrassed
if you wanna
add more spiciness
to our relationship.
Actually,
maybe you could just,
you know,
use your napkin.
My napkin?
MAN:
Mr. Levenstein?Yes.
You have a phone call.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Hello?
Jim, it's Dad.
You left the ring at home.
The box is empty.
But I'm on my way,
and I've got the ring,
so don't panic, Son.
Okay? Bye.
(PHONE BEEPS OFF)
Who was that?
Uh...
That was my dad.
That was my dad.
He couldn't get through on...
I didn't answer my cell,
so he was
getting all worried.
You know how he is.
(STUTTERING)
But everything is okay now.
Everything is perfectly fine.
I think I know what
you're gonna ask me.
That's okay. I don't
have to use my napkin.
What?
I've got my own techniques.
Michelle, where you going?
Michelle?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Okay.
(BELT UNBUCKLES)
(GROANS)
Michelle. Okay.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Michelle.
Psst!
I think you need to stop.
Okay, keep going.
(SHUDDERS)
Oh, my God. Michelle?
Michelle...
(MUMBLES)
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Well, I made it.
Where's Michelle? Washroom?
I was so nervous
she was gonna spot me.
Here's the ring, Son.
Oh!
Let me tell you something.
This is some ring.
Look at the rock
on this baby,
Mr. Big Spender.
I hope you
didn't blow your wad
on this, Son.
Not yet.
Your mother and I
could not be more thrilled
for you, Jim.
I mean, we're so happy.
And I know you're excited,
I can see it in your face.
I mean, you look like
you're ready to burst.
I mean, your cheeks,
they're flush.
I wish your mother
could be here.
Not me.
That's what I wish.
You know, this is one
of those moments, Jim,
that you're gonna remember
for the rest of your life.
Yes, it is.
You bet it is.
is gonna pop the question.
(THUD)
What was that?
That?
Knocking on wood.
What is this...
Popping what? What question?
You're a wreck.
What?
You need some air.
You need some air.
Okay, walk me to my car.
No, I'm not walking...
Listen to me!
It's for your good.
(ALL GASPING)
Dad.
Oh! Son!
My pants!
Your penis!
I got my pants, Dad!
What the hell...
(GASPING)
Jeez! God, Dad.
Wear your pants.
I got the pants!
What are you doing?
He had abdominal cramps...
I can explain all this.
Everybody calm
down here, quiet!
Lower your voice.
Disgusting.
Now,
I came here to do something,
(SIGHS) and damn it,
I'm gonna do it.
Michelle?
(CROWD GASPING)
Hello, dear.
Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,
I love you
more than I could
ever explain
at this particular moment.
Dad, the ring.
Oh.
Will you marry me?
Yes.
My son.
I'm the happiest
man in the world.
(CROWD GASPING)
We should all be so happy.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Cheers. Gentlemen.
Sweetheart.
I'm impressed.
Marriage is a binding,
unifying, eternal,
never-ending,
permanent chaining
together of two people.
Jim, have you
thought this through?
Yes.
Finch, thank you.
I had been trying to
figure it out for a while.
You know,
when is the right time?
Then finally I realized,
"Duh, you love the girl.
Marry her."
Aw.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)
Oh! Let's dance.
Dance? No.
No, you have
to learn sometime.
Come on.
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Citation
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"American Wedding" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 2 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/american_wedding_2721>.