American Crude

1

JOHNNY:
Oh, what a

tangled web we weave.

When first we practice

to deceive.

That's Bill Shakespeare.

He knew it 500 years ago.

The art of deception has created

wars, destroyed kingdoms...

brought down the world's

greatest empires.

And it was a crude web of lies that

I wove that led to my downfall.

See that guy there?

That's me, Johnny Grand.

- Not so long ago, I had it all.

-(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Big house in the suburbs,

beautiful wife, plenty of dough.

The American dream.

And this is the story

of how I lost it all.

(SIREN WAILING)

(GUNSHOTS)

Meet my friend Carlos,

ex-client, another jailbird.

Only this one has

just flown the coop

with a little help

from yours truly.

I went to law school

with the right intentions...

but I got lost

somewhere along the line.

Felonious Spinks,

friend of Carlos.

Sometimes lover,

sometimes whipping boy.

Plays her almost as well

as he plays the saxophone.

-(JOHNNY MOANING) - This is my wife, Jane.

She likes it on top.

Always has to be in control.

Always did.

Johnny.

Johnny.

Earth to Johnny.

Oh.

What? What did you say? What?

We were making love and you just

drifted off in your own world again.

Who are you fantasizing about?

Concentrating,

trying not to come.

I want you inside me.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

JOHNNY:

This is my best friend, Bill.

Bill fucked up. He trusted me.

Come on, honey,

I don't want to be late again.

I haven't even put on

my goddamn makeup yet.

Can't you put it on in the car?

I don't want to be

Mr. and Mrs. Tardy.

All right, you know what?

Don't start with me.

Jesus Christ.

JOHNNY:
This is Olivia, my

ex-girlfriend and the love of my life.

Next week she's marrying Bill.

-(MOANS) - What are you doing?

Let me go.

(GRUNTS) Let go.

(MOANS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What the hell was that?

I want a kid.

I don't.

Too bad, I'm ovulating.

- You said you were on the pill.

- Oh.

(CHUCKLES) I lied.

Did you just baby-rape me?

JOHNNY:
Meet Gigi LaRush,

exotic dancer. Very gifted.

I plea-bargained my way...

out of her third

solicitation offense

by setting the judge up

with a hooker.

Gigi owes me.

Goddamn sink.

(WATER DRIPPING)

Right now, Gigi's biggest

problem is her plumbing.

But by midnight it'll be murder.

(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)

JOHNNY:
This is Enrique.

He thinks God is on his side.

-(DOOR OPENS) - He kidnaps young

girls, sells them for profit.

A long time ago he left Carlos

for dead.

His past will catch up to him

before the night is through.

And this is my father,

dear old Dad.

A master of deception

and a tower of corruption.

He's the perfect Republican.

He doesn't know it yet,

but he's in for a fall.

The boat leaves in the morning.

Bring me another one tonight.

Just like the last one.

A cheerleader.

Nice and young.

A teenybopper.

JOHNNY:
Introducing Tammy Snow.

All she wants is to follow

her dreams.

These are the players,

this is the night...

of the grand tragedy

that changed my life.

And this is how it all began.

Who were you thinking about?

(SIGHS)

When we were making love and

you were lost in some world.

Who were you fantasizing about?

I told you... ...I wasn't

fantasizing, I was concentrating.

(SIGHS) You fantasize about

other women, you said so.

Yeah, all men do that,

that's not the point.

Oh. I'd hope I'd be enough.

Don't take it personally,

none of us are.

What was the point

of getting married?

Marriage serves a perfectly useful and

reasonable sociological function.

Well, that's romantic.

It's necessary, what separates

us from the animals.

You're troubled,

do you know that?

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