Amateur Night
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2016
- 92 min
- 110 Views
1
Hey, it's Guy Carter.
I just...
and let you know that it was...
it was amazing
meeting you last week.
I felt really good
about it and umm...
I hope you did too.
So...
I look forward
to talking to you soon.
Okay, bye.
Hey there,
it's Guy Carter again.
Just wondering
if there's any news.
You said I'd hear by Monday
at the latest and...
it's now Friday.
I don't mean
to keep bugging you,
but you basically said
I had the job.
Hey, hi, I just...
I was thinking,
if it's easier for you
to text or to e-mail,
that's totally cool.
Hey, it's Guy Carter.
It's Guy Carter, again.
Oh, it's Guy Carter.
I don't want you to lose out
on getting me.
I'm still at the same number.
Recording
has been paused due to silence.
Okay, now I'm pissed.
How do you not call someone back
who interviewed three times
and who you said
was a shoe-in?
How do you not hire someone
who you said had the best
book you'd ever seen?
I deserve this job.
I can only assume the
reason you're not calling me back
is because you're too busy...
chomping on huge d*cks.
It's just a big dick
breakfast over there.
Dick omelets and dick pancakes.
Scrambled dick.
Dick Benedict.
All you can eat dick. Would you
like another mimosa with your dick?
There's a dick carving station.
You're just grabbing
as much dick.
Oh no, that's okay,
I'm fine with my dick.
Your plate is filled with dick
and then your mouth is filled.
In fact, it's so full of dick,
that I can't pick up the phone
and make a simple...
Guy. Rob Veckmann.
The reason I didn't call you
is because my wife's been
plowing my business partner.
They took over the company
and fired me.
Oh, man.
Oh, that's...
Wow! I had no idea.
Yeah, there's a lot
you don't know. Dick.
Rob? Rob?
You alright
in here, chief?
How long have you been
standing there?
Long enough to hear
the dick buffet.
Guy...
How's the crib coming along?
It's getting there.
You know, not assembling
that thing
isn't gonna stop her
from coming out of me.
Why would I want to stop her?
Although, I mean, I guess I
wouldn't be totally upset
if she held off
another eight months.
That's funny. I was thinking
if she came sooner,
like say, before Tuesday,
we'd still have health
insurance to cover it.
What is that supposed to mean?
Umm...
Well, pretty much
what it sounds like.
Wait? Are you...
You're serious.
Anne? How are you just
telling me this now?
I don't... You were
so stressed out
I didn't wanna make it worse.
It looked like the Resource
thing was happening,
so I didn't mention it.
But now, I'm mentioning it.
They have to give you some
sort of grace period, right?
They did.
It ends Tuesday.
I mean, I assumed you'd
be working by now.
Yeah. Well, we dropped
the ball on that one.
I'm sorry, "we"?
Meaning me?
You quit your job.
Because we got pregnant.
I can't talk about this
right now.
I'm gonna make tea.
Anne...
To be loved
And to be loved
Forever
Let's make a vow
To never
Ever part
Here.
What is this?
I found it
on Craigslist.
It's the only thing
remotely realistic.
Now If you studied
dental hygiene,
our options.
You want me to be
a delivery guy?
I want you to be anything if it
pays the insurance by Tuesday.
That will buy us another month,
unless of course you want
me to call my parents
and ask for more money again.
It is an option.
No. No, it is not
an option, Anne.
I don't wanna go into labor
and find out the "repo man"
towed my car
out of the driveway.
There's no such thing
as the "repo man."
Have you ever seen a repo man...
not counting the
Emilio Estevez movie?
Guy, I'm not gonna argue
the existence of repo men
because they're real.
What do they come with,
a tow truck
or a fleet of unicorns?
My half-brother's mom Sandy,
said that she had her car taken
and I believe it was
by a repo man, okay?
What? They are not...
You're not gonna
throw up on me.
A little bit.
Why don't you go lie down and
I'll bring you something? Okay?
Go! Go lay down,
I'll bring you something.
They're real.
Here you go.
For your tummy.
Sorry for being such a baby.
I know you're frustrated.
It's just so stupid.
I'm supposed to have
my ducks in a row by now.
Maybe it's okay to not
have your ducks in a row.
It's not okay. Ducks
have to be in a row.
Have you ever seen ducks?
They're sorta crazy.
They like to run around,
do sh*t.
No, I don't...
Not my ducks.
My ducks are different
than your ducks.
Mine are not running
around and crazy.
They have an objective,
they have a plan.
They wanna get
somewhere in life.
Then they're like
walking in a line,
otherwise known as a row.
Honey, oww.
Then call the number.
Word up?
Oh. Hey. Um...
You got a car?
- Yes.
- Does it run?
Meet me at Fat
Burger in West Hollywood.
Umm... okay.
Oh, a question...
This may be a little premature,
but are there benefits?
Plenty.
P, L, E, N, T, Y, my man.
My bad.
Yeah. Um-hm.
What he do?
Scraping the guardrail doesn't
necessarily mean he was wasted.
Oh.
You got me there.
Okay, yeah, no.
I'll tell him,
"No more shootin' up
in the car."
But, fret not, I got a buddy
that will drive you.
Um-hm.
About six foot.
Serious, clean.
Like a cop.
No, he's not a real cop.
I can promise you
he will not hit on you.
How do I know?
'Cause he's gay.
Gay as f***.
Real gay.
No, he got a sweet ride.
A Volvo.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't get pissy with me.
I'm trying to hook you up.
Sit.
Okay, bye.
You O negative?
No, I'm...
I'm not talking to you.
Uh-huh.
Right.
Are you O negative?
No, I'm... I'm not talkin' to you.
Hold up.
All right,
I love you too. Bye.
You the one just called?
Yeah, I'm Guy.
I'm Zoley. Congratulations.
You're hired.
Okay... Well,
what am I gonna be driving?
Pizzas?
Dry cleaning? What?
Girls. The first one's
named Nikki.
Huh.
You didn't mention that
in your ad.
It's all above board, man.
You're not doin'
anything illegal,
you're just drivin' a car.
Pickin' up, droppin' off.
Easy as cake.
What are the benefits?
Well, you play your cards right,
there can be
all kinds of benefits.
Know what I'm sayin'?
Guy, you about this life,
or what?
No, no no no...
I'm... Yes... I'm...
I'm about this life.
Okay, all right.
Mm-hmm. Okay, sweet.
Here's where she's at.
Oh, whoa. Now?
You want me to start now?
Right now, yes.
Nikki is waitin'.
And Nikki do not like to wait.
Hi. I'm Guy.
Guy, with the sweet ride, Guy?
That'd be me.
Call me Nikki, Nikki Winters.
And next time, don't be late.
So where are we going?
Bel-Air.
Please
proceed to the highlighted route.
Want music?
Smooth jazz is good.
Not what I would've guessed.
My life's hectic enough.
I don't need my music to be.
You realize, we're still late.
Yeah... I got a ticket
going through a yellow.
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"Amateur Night" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/amateur_night_2637>.
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