Alone on Valentine's Day!

Episode #8
Synopsis: This year, I struggle with the idea of not having anyone to share Valentine's Day with, and the different aspects of my personality come together to see if my fate can be changed!!
Genre: Romance
Year:
2017
32 Views


[Thomas]:
Roses are red, violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. Tulips go in all sorts of colors, so do Roses. I really like flowers. Daffodils are also yellow.

*logo*

[Thomas]:
What is up everybody?! It's that time of year again: Valentine's day. Do you have a date? I don't, and I don't know where I'm going to get one, approaching people is difficult.

[Anxiety]:
That's an understatement.

[Thomas]:
Oh! Anxiety... Perfect, that settles it; I'm not gonna approach anyone this year.

[Morality]:
Now, don't say that! It's still possible.

[Anxiety]:
Morality, don't lie to him.

[Thomas]:
Yeah, meeting people is hard.

[Logic]:
Doesn't have to be.

[Princey]:
Logic is right.

[Thomas]:
Wow, my fanciful side is agreeing with my logical side.

[Logic]:
Thomas, in this instance, pragmatism and optimism aren't necessarily contradictory.

[Morality]:
I know big words too! Saxophone...

[Thomas]:
Okay, so you guys think there is a way to not spend my Valentine's day alone?

[Princey]:
Oh yeah!

[Thomas]:
How?

[Morality]:
We just need to go about it the right way! Let's put our heads together and create a game plan. First, we'll need someone to practice on...

[Logic]:
But who?

[Morality]:
Each other?

[Thomas]:
No, no! How about we... use... my friend! Valerie!

[Anxiety]:
Valerie?

*ping*

[Thomas]:
Valerie.

[Morality]:
Hey!

[Princey]:
Hey!

[Logic]:
Salutations.

[Thomas]:
So, explain to me how you would go about securing a date with Valerie for Valentine's day.

[Anxiety]:
I've got an idea: Don't! Don't even try.

[Morality]:
Now, Anxiety, if you don't wanna participate, you can just sit this one out.

[Anxiety]:
That's... not exactly how I work...

*ping*

[Logic]:
Now! I know we are all about to get into some big confusing discussion, but there is no need to over-complicate things. I have the solution! The trick to getting a date is to just be completely upfront and honest, alright? (to Valerie) Hello.

[Valerie]:
Hello.

[Logic]:
We are humans.

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
As humans, one possible objective is to procreate...

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
Therefore, would you like to copulate with me?

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
There, done.

[Morality]:
Wow!

[Thomas]:
...That's not how people work!

[Princey]:
You had no tact whatsoever.

[Logic]:
Fine. Hello! Do you like food?

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
Do you like romantic outings?

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
I can provide both of those things. Therefore, you will be my date.

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
Happy?

[Thomas]:
(doubtful) Seriously?

[Logic]:
Yes! And then you continue to... talk-talk-talk until eventual marriage and/or copulation. That's the process.

[Anxiety]:
Yeah, if your life is a Sims game.

[Logic]:
That's ridiculous. This is what it would be like if your life is a Sims game:

[Logic & Valerie]: -talk in Simmish-

[Thomas]:
Stop it. Stop!

[Anxiety]:
If you went about tryin' get a date that way, it would look like this:

[Logic]:
Hello, do you like food?

[Valerie]:
Yeah...

[Logic]:
Do you like romantic outings?

[Valerie]:
I mean, sometimes...?

[Logic]:
I can provide both of those things. Therefore, you would be my date.

[Valerie]:
(stuttering) ...I'm… I'm uh... go.

[Anxiety]:
Just saying.

[Thomas]:
Yeah...

[Princey]:
Your problem is you didn't woo her with any gusto. You know what people like?

[Morality]:
Bagels!

[Princey]:
...No, what? Maybe. Um... Poetry!

[Logic]:
Poetry?

*ping*

[Princey]:
Allow me to recite Shakespeare's sonnet 138. "When my love swears to me that she is made of truth I do believe her, though I know she lies. That she might think me some untutor'd youth..."

(Morality:
aww!)

[Logic]:
Gonna stop you right there. That sonnet is about an older man and an unfaithful girl, lying to preserve their relationship.

[Princey]:
Oh.

[Logic]:
Yeah... So... um, might I recommend Shakespeare's sonnet 18? "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

[Morality]:
I mean, I wouldn't recommend reading someone else's words. You need to say what's in your heart!

[Anxiety]:
-chuckles- Come on, if you do that, you could get all tongue tied... Jumbled... Confused.

*ping*

[Morality]:
Well, then you write it all before hand in a letter. -laughs- "Dear Valerie, Happy 'Valerie-ntine's' day... wow, that didn't come off quite as well as I would've liked it to. Maybe not one of my best jokes. Um, well, er..." (continues reading)

[Princey]:
He wrote this down?

[Morality]:
"I don't quite know how to proceed here... but I would like to ask... Hmm, how do I put this? I would like to speak from the heart, but hearts don't have mouths... Well, that was a little weird to say..." (continues reading)

[Logic]:
This was the whole problem he was trying to circumnavigate.

[Morality]:
"...Hum. Wow, uh, is it hot in here? It's a little hot in here to me... I'm getting a little bit sweaty..."

[Thomas]:
Okay! I think that was... That was a bit of a failed experiment.

[Morality]:
Fine! No words. (starts to hug her)

[Anxiety]:
No. No!

[Thomas]:
What if that were a stranger?

[Logic]:
You can't just touch people.

[Morality]:
Okay! Then you create a gift to give them! A drawing! Here you go.

[Princey]:
But that could be just taken as a gift from a friend.

[Valerie]:
Wow! Thanks!

[Anxiety]:
Or worse...

[Valerie]:
Wow, this is horrible. I never realized how stupid and untalented you are.

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Thomas Sanders

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Submitted by bread on August 02, 2020

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