Alone on Valentine's Day!  Episode #8

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[Thomas]:
Roses are red, violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. Tulips go in all sorts of colors, so do Roses. I really like flowers. Daffodils are also yellow.

*logo*

[Thomas]:
What is up everybody?! It's that time of year again: Valentine's day. Do you have a date? I don't, and I don't know where I'm going to get one, approaching people is difficult.

[Anxiety]:
That's an understatement.

[Thomas]:
Oh! Anxiety... Perfect, that settles it; I'm not gonna approach anyone this year.

[Morality]:
Now, don't say that! It's still possible.

[Anxiety]:
Morality, don't lie to him.

[Thomas]:
Yeah, meeting people is hard.

[Logic]:
Doesn't have to be.

[Princey]:
Logic is right.

[Thomas]:
Wow, my fanciful side is agreeing with my logical side.

[Logic]:
Thomas, in this instance, pragmatism and optimism aren't necessarily contradictory.

[Morality]:
I know big words too! Saxophone...

[Thomas]:
Okay, so you guys think there is a way to not spend my Valentine's day alone?

[Princey]:
Oh yeah!

[Thomas]:
How?

[Morality]:
We just need to go about it the right way! Let's put our heads together and create a game plan. First, we'll need someone to practice on...

[Logic]:
But who?

[Morality]:
Each other?

[Thomas]:
No, no! How about we... use... my friend! Valerie!

[Anxiety]:
Valerie?

*ping*

[Thomas]:
Valerie.

[Morality]:
Hey!

[Princey]:
Hey!

[Logic]:
Salutations.

[Thomas]:
So, explain to me how you would go about securing a date with Valerie for Valentine's day.

[Anxiety]:
I've got an idea: Don't! Don't even try.

[Morality]:
Now, Anxiety, if you don't wanna participate, you can just sit this one out.

[Anxiety]:
That's... not exactly how I work...

*ping*

[Logic]:
Now! I know we are all about to get into some big confusing discussion, but there is no need to over-complicate things. I have the solution! The trick to getting a date is to just be completely upfront and honest, alright? (to Valerie) Hello.

[Valerie]:
Hello.

[Logic]:
We are humans.

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
As humans, one possible objective is to procreate...

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
Therefore, would you like to copulate with me?

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
There, done.

[Morality]:
Wow!

[Thomas]:
...That's not how people work!

[Princey]:
You had no tact whatsoever.

[Logic]:
Fine. Hello! Do you like food?

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
Do you like romantic outings?

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
I can provide both of those things. Therefore, you will be my date.

[Valerie]:
Yes.

[Logic]:
Happy?

[Thomas]:
(doubtful) Seriously?

[Logic]:
Yes! And then you continue to... talk-talk-talk until eventual marriage and/or copulation. That's the process.

[Anxiety]:
Yeah, if your life is a Sims game.

[Logic]:
That's ridiculous. This is what it would be like if your life is a Sims game:

[Logic & Valerie]: -talk in Simmish-

[Thomas]:
Stop it. Stop!

[Anxiety]:
If you went about tryin' get a date that way, it would look like this:

[Logic]:
Hello, do you like food?

[Valerie]:
Yeah...

[Logic]:
Do you like romantic outings?

[Valerie]:
I mean, sometimes...?

[Logic]:
I can provide both of those things. Therefore, you would be my date.

[Valerie]:
(stuttering) ...I'm… I'm uh... go.

[Anxiety]:
Just saying.

[Thomas]:
Yeah...

[Princey]:
Your problem is you didn't woo her with any gusto. You know what people like?

[Morality]:
Bagels!

[Princey]:
...No, what? Maybe. Um... Poetry!

[Logic]:
Poetry?

*ping*

[Princey]:
Allow me to recite Shakespeare's sonnet 138. "When my love swears to me that she is made of truth I do believe her, though I know she lies. That she might think me some untutor'd youth..."

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