Almost Married

Synopsis: When Kyle returns from his stag-do with a sexually transmitted disease, he's left unable to have sex with his fiancée Lydia in the run-up to their wedding.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Ben Cookson
Production: Liquid Noise Films
  1 win & 1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
97 min


We made it! Arrived!


- Cease Fire

- Damn!

Jesus Christ!

Where's our clothes?

- Where is the damn clothes?

- It's the wrong shelter.

- Shelter wrong?

- I drew an incorrect map.

Jarvis, damn criminal!

Should be the other.

What other?

That there.

You son of a b*tch!

I finger you popped!


Hey, Jarvis, put on your mask,

f***ing idiot!

- Damn! It's broken!

- No, no, no.

Without the masks on,

can not shoot.

Cease fire!

Marshall, masks are broken!

Do not be chicken, Kyle

Can not shoot.

Could lose an eye.

What do you prefer,

lose an eye or the balls?

How did you think this was a good idea?

Be a funny memory.

Are bullshit.


- Do you have ammunition?

- A little.

Give them to me and I'll cover you.


You should cover my last time!

- That I did.

- Ran away, damn it!

- I was not defending the front.

- Yes?

You could defend there,

catching clothes, and return


Not going to let me shoot.

You're the one getting married!

Go together.


Go together.

- Ready?

- Si.

'll Edit it for the wedding.

I'll put music.

Le add some balls big as mine.

Here is Butch Cassidy!

Butch Cassidy.

What's the matter?

Relief Enjoying a good piss.

It feels so good, that sometimes

bids over the account, right?

It happens frequently.

Not that, friend.

It felt a little weird.

Like... If burned.

Did you use one of these?

'll Drink something while you try.

When you're ready.

Take your time.

I calmly taking the medicine, right?

Shut up!

Hey this.

Falls flowing again!

How does it feel?

As something sharp such as nettle.


Seriously, dude, I know what you mean.

You must have crabs.

Burns like hell.

Be strong.

No, burn.

Sh*t, yeah that burns!

We've all been so, man.

We've all been there.

"Sexual Health Clinic"

genital Herpes.

Is dangerous.

Very dangerous.

What are you complaining?


This waiting room is not like in my day.

You get in trouble putting

together all these...

sexual predators.

I think take a powder is the

last thing they are thinking.

F-638, please.

Yes, I forgot.

Here you are just a number.

- As in jail.

- Would you like to wait in the van?

The latter was not bad.

In fact, it was good,

pretty good.

I would give.

Is that what you came?

To pick up women in a sexual health clinic?

Is a place as any.

- In what f***ing way? - First,

obviously enjoy love.

Is obvious.

Second, not all sick like you.

Almost all are clean,

with seal of approval.

The porn star, for example,

require regular checkups,

a general medical examination.

- And you ensure a clean copy.

- Exactly.

The latter looked clean.

Perhaps a vaginal infection,

but no big deal.

A vaginal infection.

Do you feel it?


- CF-3330, please

- What is it?

Beard and a bald head.

Must have genital warts,

a recurring event.

And there?

Gonorrhea and vaginal infection.

And they

Have a seat, please

This is easy.


They go together, right?


- We.

- Yes, but they are gays.

May think the same of us.

Even you're my boyfriend.

But I'm not gay.


may think that you have AIDS.

I'm not a f***ing gay!

I was not talking about him.

I like the homosexuals.

- I'll wait in the van.

- Yes.

Remember have used this?

Then use this!


Now in easy to open packs

HIV What if it were you?


I just avoided pregnancy

Shows signs of infectious nodes.

I will prescribe some antibiotics.

Will results in a week.

The Silent Disease

Damage to testes and ovaries


You will not believe the day I've had


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Ben Cookson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Almost Married" STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 27 Sep. 2023. <>.

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