Synopsis: For Alfie, the only real life is sex life; only then can he kid himself he is living. Sex is not used as the working-class boy's way to 'the top'. Executive status has no appeal for Alfie. Nor has class mobility. He is quite content to stay where he is, as long as the 'birds' are in 'beautiful condition', as he assures us they are in one of the candid, over-the-shoulder asides to the camera which the film carries over from "Tom Jones". The film shows how much of the 'swinging 60's' quality of London life was a male creation, and through the dominance of the fashion photographers, a male prerogative.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Lewis Gilbert
Production: Paramount Pictures
  Nominated for 5 Oscars. Another 7 wins & 17 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
114 min

Here, are you starting again?

- What if I am?

- What if the police come?

Let 'em. The windows

are steamed up, the doors are locked.

It's like a Turkish bath.

It don't half make you thirsty.

Here! Watch your ring

with my stockings.

Move over a bit, then.

Get your knee off the wheel!

- I can't. I'm stuck.

- Look out. I'll do it.

That hurt!

I told you to be careful

with your legs.

- I was only trying to be helpful.

- I can help myself.


They never make these cars

big enough, do they?

Well, you all settled in?

We can begin. My name is...



I suppose you think you're going

to see the bleeding titles now.

Well, you're not, so relax.

What time will your old man

be at the station?

- Never mind him.

- That's who I will mind.

Never spoil a good thing.

You women don't get that.

- Enough's as good as a feast.

- You've changed your tune.

That horn put me off. I hate noise

at a time like that. Eh, mate?

Don't forget your napkin.

The first time you put your hankie

over your shoulder,

I thought

you were going to play your fiddle.

I come from a musical family.

Here. Mind you don't catch cold.

I've had a lovely time, Alfie.

A married woman. Every one of 'em

in need of a good laugh.

It never strikes their husbands.

Make a married woman laugh

and you're halfway there with her.

It don't work with the single bird.

It'd start you off on the wrong foot.

You get one of them laughing,

you won't get nothing else.

Just listen to it. It was dead glum

when I met it tonight.

I listened to its problems,

then I got it laughing.

It'll go home happy.

Where'd you tell

your husband you were?

- Pictures with Olive.

- What pictures?

Just the pictures.

Never be vague. It plants suspicion.

No wonder there's all this

broken marriage and divorce.

It would never occur to him that

another man would wanna take me out.

No, I see what you mean.

Suck this sweet

so he don't smell the gin.

- I don't care if he does.

- Be human. Why should we hurt him?

- He's done us no harm.

- You want everybody happy.

I don't believe in making anybody

unhappy if I don't have to.

Or in making an enemy.

You could be crossing the Sahara,

and he'd be the bloke you met.

What about next week?

Same time, same place?

- Maybe.

- I'll go and get my ticket.

She don't know

we won't be seeing much more of her.

She's on her way out.

When a married woman gets too hot on,

it's time to cool off.

Next thing she'll want

is to introduce me to the husband.

I can see it coming.

- I'll say good night to you, girl.

- The firm's dance is on Saturday.

- I'll treat you.

- Won't your old man be there?

Yeah, I'd like you to meet. Night.

Don't forget your napkin.

I'm like the Boy Scouts,

always prepared.

Once I've met the husband,

it don't half put me off the wife.

He could be dying, but if I ain't

met him, I won't think about him.

It's once you meet. Like as not,

he'll turn out to be a good sport.

His sort usually are.

As I'm having it off with her,

I keep thinking about him

hanging up his shirts.

Or arguing in the pub

about football or cricket.

You get a lot of his sort,

Chelsea supporters.


- Had a nice time, dear?

- Not bad at all.

Good film?

There was a queue, so we didn't wait.

We went to a restaurant.

Did you enjoy yourself?

That's the main thing.

Well, I did my best. What about you?

I went through that garden catalogue

that came. Very interesting.

You should go out more. You come back

so cheerful - made over again.

Now I'm off to visit a little bird

called Gilda.

While she ain't exactly stupid,

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Bill Naughton

William John Francis Naughton, or Bill Naughton (12 June 1910 – 9 January 1992) was an Irish-born British playwright and author, best known for his play Alfie. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Alfie" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 29 Nov. 2020. <>.

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