Ace in the Hole


: HOLE::.


Mom, Dane just said stinks.

Don't say stink Dane.

I thought you said that this wasn't that different

from the last place?

It will be! Once we get our stuff moved in.

Yeah except for the 2,000 mile walk

to go hang out with my friends.

You will make new friends.

Better friends.

Got the biggest room.

Well! This was nice of someone.

Oh that's so sweet.

Did Aunt Bee bake us a pie?

This place sux (sucks).

Hey, There's a basket in the street.

Let's go play.


What the hell's your problem?

Let's go play!

Go have fun.


Hi, I'll play with you honey.

You know? Forget it.

This is a change for Lucas too okay?

- Are you joking me?

- No, I'm not.

All you have to do is put him

in his room and put on cartoons.

And he's fine.

And perhaps spend a little bit more

time with him. What do you say?

Any more time and I...

I'll probably strangle him.

What happen to the old Dane, I used

to know that would

draw rainbows and people

with smiley faces on them?

I grew up.

Did ya?

But please do not to take

this out on Lucas, okay?

It is not his fault that

we had to move.

I had to do it.

I could not take a chance.

I am sorry about your friends.

I'm sorry about having to move again.

but I would really like

this to workout.

I would like you to help me make it work.

It means no more fighting

no more trouble at school.

I need you to be better then

the things you have seen.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means, I would like us

to be happy. Okay?

We could all use a little bit

more happy in our lives.

See this... I'm very happy.

I am.

That's great...

It's not too bad...

We're make it work?

There's another box in the back of the truck.

Honey, if you would get it please?

This one?

- Yeah. That's good.



Dane why did you bring this?

To help Lucas build his Bozo phobia.

Shut up God.

- Mom, Lucas just said, "Shut up."

Do the two of you realise that you're embarrassing

yourselves in front of our new neighbour?

Better than Mr. Hide walking in

Clark Street in boxers. Doesn't it?

Hey, Dane! Where do you want me to put

your Jonah's record CD's?

Oooh... You're into such trouble.

What new?

That goes in the basement, sweetie!


- Okay!

- Why do you baby him so much?

- Why? You jealous?

You okay, kid?

- Yeah...

Just go talk to him.

He said he was sorry.

I'm so done with him.

You've been saying that since the fifth grade.

- I know right.

Okay you guys, call me if there's any problems.

but I don't want any problems.

So please don't call me.

I need this stuff to go well.

Are we cool?

Promise me the both of you.


Scout's honor.

Dane... I hate to tell you this

but you were never a scout. My friend.

Actually I thought about once because of the cookies.

- Because a girl scouts losing.

I love you.

Don't pester your brother, okay?

- Good luck, Mom.

- Thank you.

And guys! Do things together. Two of you.

Please ... Dane.

See you guys later!

Let's go throw.

I'm busy.

- Doing what?


Go away.


You can stare at her outside. Okay!

I said I'm busy.

Now get outta here. I don't feel like it.

You never feel like it.

No. No.

I will kill you.


New neighbors.

I'm Lucas.

We just moved here.

Hi, Lucas.

I'm Julie.

Nice to meet you, Julie.

With my brother Dane, and my mom Susan.

He's there up there.

You want to know my brother?

Dane like it better in Brooklyn.

I gotta go.


Hey, buddy.

You ever bite me again, I'm gonna...

What's your problem?


Want you to just play with me.

Oh Really? You want me to play with you?


- I have no problem!

Playing with you!

Mom's gonna be pissed with you.

It's your fault!

What is that?

Don't know.

Here help me get this.

That's a lot of locks.

Probably keep you from gas pipes or something.

Or a treasure maybe?

Go look for the keys.

They're not down here.

If there's treasure,

I get half.

This is just a hole.


How deep do you think it is?

I don't know.

Okay, go ahead.

Do you hear anything?

That's really weird?

Maybe it's like some kinda tunnel or something?

To where?

I don't know I mean.

It's got to have a bottom right?




How does it do that?

I don't know.

What you do?

Nothing. It's if catch on or something.

So! You two didn't kill each other?

Not yet.

This is Julie.

Hi, Dane!

The boy who hates it here.

Do you wanna look at our hole?

I'm sorry?


We got this hole in the floor.

It's no big deal.

It's that what you do for fun in Brooklyn?

Play with your holes?

What is it?

Our hole.

Well! We're not really sure what?

Hey Charlie!

What do you think?

Charlie doesn't like your hole very much.

Can't see the bottom.

Maybe it's just a crawl space or something.


That was weird.

Okay ...

This is so cool.

Is it working?

- Yeah.

Think so.

So what exactly you think you gonna see?

I don't know?

Could be like a... like a underground tomb.

Like the catacombs, or something?

The catacombs of Bensonville?

Seriously doubt that.

I think its just a... really deep hole,

that 'Creepy Carl' dug up.

Who's 'Creepy Carl' ?

The guy that used to live here.

Now he lives in the old glove factory in the other side of town.

Yeah! Let's go see what the inside of a hole looks like.

Is it working?

- Yeah.

I think so.

I told you guys there's nothing down there.

It's just a hole.

A hole with no bottom in the basement of our house.

How does that make any sense?

Woah! Did you see that?

Right there.

See? There's something.

Or anything.

Like a light coming

through a crack in the...

Or a aliens.

Or an egg.

Or an alien egg.

How do you even come out with this...

It's not in the...

Hey guys!

- Hi! Mom.

Just watching some TV.

- Cool.

Yeah! What is it?

Oh! Nothing just stupid show really.

Just about to turn it off actually.

This is Julie. From next door.

- Hi, Julie from next door.


I brought plenty of Chinese food in case you're hungry?

Thanks but I should... I should go.

My mom probably thinks I'm already hitting

up the new neighbours for gay way drugs.

I'll see you later?

Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

Bye Lucas. I'll see you later.

You might have been safer in the city. My friend.

What have you guys been doing all day?

We found this cool...


We just kinda hung out.

How's the new job?


Wait a minute...

Did you just... ask me about my life?

My Goodness! Couple of days in a small town

and look how polite you are?

I heard something.


Why do I have to do it today?

- Because your school registration is today. Sweetheart.

And I change my shift at the hospital to do it.

Please stop...

Hold still baby. We're late.

Why doesn't Dane have to do it?

Because I'm not in a school where

they make you take naps and drink out of sippy cup.

You can do me! D*ckhead!

- Hey! hey, hey...

Okay I know he did not learn that on Sponge Bob.

And Dane is not going today because

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Adam Carolla

Adam Carolla (; born May 27, 1964) is an American comedian, radio personality, television host, actor, podcaster, and director. He hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast which set the record as the "most downloaded podcast" as judged by Guinness World Records in 2011.Carolla co-hosted the syndicated radio call-in program Loveline from 1995 to 2005 as well as the show's television incarnation on MTV from 1996 to 2000. He was the co-host and co-creator of the television program The Man Show (1999–2004), and the co-creator and a regular performer on the television show Crank Yankers (2002–2007). He hosted The Adam Carolla Project, a home improvement television program which aired on TLC in 2005 and The Car Show on Speed TV in 2011. Carolla has also appeared on the network reality television programs Dancing with the Stars and The Celebrity Apprentice. His book In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks debuted on The New York Times Best Seller list in 2010, and his second book, Not Taco Bell Material, also reached New York Times bestseller status.Carolla has made numerous guest appearances on political talk shows as a commentator. He hosted a weekly segment, "Rollin' with Carolla", on Bill O'Reilly's The O'Reilly Factor. more…

All Adam Carolla scripts | Adam Carolla Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Ace in the Hole" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Jul 2024. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Are you a screenwriting master?

    Which screenwriter wrote "Inception"?
    A Jonathan Nolan
    B Christopher Nolan
    C David S. Goyer
    D Steven Zaillian