A Good Man Is Hard to Find
- PG-13
- Year:
- 2008
- 90 min
- 490 Views
Just pick something
and close the door.
Guys, guys!
Look what happened.
I have peach fuzz on my face.
Peach fuzz! See?
Congratulations, Ubuntu.
This is your first step
into manhood.
The other steps
are a lot more fun
and usually
involve strippers.
You are becoming a man.
In your native Africa,
there would be a wonderful
culturally relative
scarification
or body mutilation ritual.
But we're stuck
here in America,
so a first shave
is a perfect way
to commemorate
your transition.
Shave me, daddy!
I'd better handle
this one.
If he needs help shaving
his legs, he'll come to you.
We've got
a problem out here.
People were honking at me,
but I figured they just agreed
with our bumper stickers.
I'll call
the tow company.
What kind of man doesn't know
how to change a tire?
Dad, changing a tire
doesn't make you a man.
Now, changing the world...
Yeah, yeah. Bottom line is,
your boy is becoming a man,
- and I'm the one who needs to show him
the way. - Ubuntu's becoming a man?
What exactly did you see?
Peach fuzz. Feel it!
- You sure you weren't kissing bunnies
at the pet store again? - It's for real.
here to teach him the ropes.
I don't want my dad teaching
our son about manhood.
Shaving is the trojan horse
he's going to use
to sneak in
and corrupt Ubuntu.
Remember when dad
took care of Che?
Get it while it's bloody!
What?
It took nearly
a week of soy enemas
for Che to come
back to his senses.
And now he's more committed
to a vegan lifestyle than ever.
Done.
Thanks for fixing
the tire, Trish.
It's so good to have
a friend in the biz.
Oh, hi, mo!
Are you working here now, too?
No, I'm more of a fan.
I just love the smell.
Hey, Ma!
- What?
- No, Ma, not Mom.
- What?
- Got any money?
I need to hit the drugstore
for some peroxide.
My girlfriend says my
tongue ring's infected again.
Oh, God!
Get away from me, Kevin!
Pig.
Get a room, you two.
It's like they never broke up.
They grow up so fast.
That's why, well...
We haven't told
anyone else this, but...
We're gonna have
another baby!
I had a feeling
when I saw you,
but I didn't want
to say anything
in case you weren't pregnant.
- That would be so embarrass.
- I'm not pregnant.
I'm not either.
See, Gerald?
We're still trying
to get up the courage
to ask a sperm donor.
It's kind of an awkward
subject to broach.
What about
Kevin's biological father?
Kevin was an accident.
- How is that possible...
- You guys are great parents.
I'm sure you'll have
We'd like it to be
someone we feel close to.
I am so happy!
Now, do you accept
competitors' coupons,
and do you consider
a dry cleaner a competitor?
So, Gerald,
what do you think about
Mo and Trish's proposition?
Great, just great.
You know, I always say,
more gay couples
should have children.
Yeah. If I were Kevin's moms,
I'd want a do-over, too.
I'm so proud of you,
Gerald Goode.
Well, thank you, but...
Oh, my God!
Mo and Trish want my sperm!
I'm so excited!
Giving a baby
to a gay couple
is one of the greatest things
Margo's gonna crap herself
when I tell her.
Oh, God!
This is a nightmare!
My ex-boyfriend is going
to be my half brother?
Are you trying
to screw me up?
We haven't really
decided yet.
Are you kidding?
This is the kind of thing
you guys live for.
Look at Mom right now!
I'd better find a way
to deal with Kevin.
Let's keep this
between us.
the whole neighborhood to know.
What do Mo and Trish not want
the whole neighborhood to know?
Gerald is donating sperm
to our lesbian friends
- so they could have a baby.
- Please, Helen!
70 bucks a visit.
Paid for my truck and the
boat that's hitched to it.
- That's a lot of visits.
- 70 dollars?
Did I hear you say you're
giving Mo and Trish a baby?
- We're not sure...
- Yes!
If you give it to them, Gerald,
you can't take it back,
like the watering can.
Hey, if you guys
are just giving out babies,
I'll take one. A child
will solve all my problems.
Go, go! Ubuntu needs
a new pair of clogs!
I win!
- Grampa, call our bookie!
- I'm on it.
Mom, dad, grampa's teaching me
how to invest in horses.
Gambling on animals?
Real men will gamble
on anything.
Charlie, I never gamble.
My point exactly.
A real man grabs life
by the jabordnicks.
He starts the day on the floor
of the drunk tank
and ends it on a bed
in a bordello.
He gets a hernia,
and he doesn't get it treated
out of his thigh. - Cool.
seed to father a child for them,
Mo and Trish. - Helen!
That's so awesome!
No, it isn't!
Strippers are awesome!
I'm gonna have
a little half brother!
I need to make him a card.
Are you sure that being
a donor for Mo and Trish
Gerald, this is the perfect
way to show Ubuntu
that real manhood
is not about selfishness
but about selflessness.
You'll get absolutely
no pleasure,
but potential
responsibilities.
Talk about leading
by example, huh?
- Well, that does sound right.
- Helen! This should interest you.
The Greenville Art council
just tapped me to curate
this year's irreverent
and courageous...
Gerald is giving his sperm
to our lesbian friends
so they can have a baby!
Damn it, Kent!
I can't do everything!
Kevin, we need to talk.
I just wanted to say
some things have changed,
to be, like, friends,
You know, in case we ever
become related or something.
- So you want to marry me?
- No!
How about you get
the hell out of here
before I bust you up?
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Kiss!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Look!
Nitro-burning funny cars!
Hey, guys!
Mo, put on some pants.
Gerald and Helen are here,
and they brought booze!
Mo, Trish,
we have good news.
Helen and I have
discussed it, and, well,
our answer is... Yes!
Yes to what?
To what?
Well, to giving you a baby.
Gerald, no offense,
but we may not want
to have a girl.
No, we're looking for
a man's man. No offense.
Well, I appreciate that
you keep saying "no offense",
I'm confused.
You said it was awkward to ask.
And gettin' more
awkward by the minute.
Not a man's man?
I get hit on by men
all the time.
They're talking nonsense,
Gerald. They're lesbians.
Their view of masculinity
is skewed.
that Ubuntu can't find out,
or we'll lose him
to Charlie forever.
Find out what?
Nothing.
Mo and Trish don't think
I'm manly enough
to give them a baby.
Isn't that crazy?
- Isn't it?
- I don't know, Gerald.
You do wear women's jeans.
Well, I have a wide pelvis.
Gerald, you carry
pepper spray in your bag.
So no one thinks I'm manly?
Penny?
with respect and equality...
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