A Gnome Named Gnorm

(GROANING)

Hi.

Hi.

MAN:
I don't know.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Budd,

you seen Casey?

Casey Gallagher?

Oh, yeah,

he was in last week.

Damn it.

Where the hell

is Casey?

Um...

I just saw him.

That phone call

is coming in

at eight o'clock.

If Gallagher's

not in my office

in five minutes,

I told Kaminsky

the job is his.

Yes, sir.

You've seen Casey?

Not today.

Sam, baby,

lose your partner again?

Got to hand it to Gallagher.

Sure knows how to goof up.

Mmm. Right, Kaminsky,

while you on the other hand

vigilantly guard

the vending machines.

Ah, don't worry,

Casey'll show up.

He wouldn't miss

his big chance

to be a star tonight.

If he shows,

I say he blows it.

I fact,

I got 20 bucks

says he blows it.

Any takers?

Samantha, come on.

I'm giving two-to-one.

Three-to-one.

Four-to-one.

Sucker.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Uh, Captain,

it's been five minutes.

I'm going to

go get ready.

Kaminsky!

Kaminsky,

I've been looking

all over for you.

Got my Zagnut bar.

Very nice.

Hey, where's the coffee

I asked for, pal, huh?

Casey, I want

to see you alone.

I'll be right there, Chief.

Just give me one minute,

I'll just...

Where the hell you been?

I've been covering for you

for half an hour.

Sorry, Sam.

I was down in lock-up

with Ramon.

Ramon the pimp?

Ramon, my

fashion consultant.

How do you get off

showing up at

the last minute,

letting me

of all people

do all the prep work?

God, where did you

get this tie?

Isn't it great?

I got it from Ramon.

Let me tell you something.

No cop on earth

would wear a tie like this.

That's why

it's perfect

for undercover.

Your gun?

No, I'm just

happy to see you.

No. Where is your gun?

Look, I thought about it,

and I thought it was

a very bad idea. Seriously.

I knew it.

It's not even loaded.

You know I don't like guns.

Casey, this isn't a game.

You gotta stop playing cop

and start being one.

Hey, who pulled off

the biggest operation

in the department

this year, pal, huh?

And I never even

drew my gun,

much less fired it.

What can I say?

I just don't want to

see you get hurt.

I'll lose 50 bucks.

Besides,

what if they

frisk me?

I'll have you right there

behind me, .38 in tow,

backing me up.

Right, me and Kaminsky.

Give me the gun.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

You want to see me?

Come in.

Listen, Casey.

A lot of people

are giving me flak

about entrusting this case

to the jerk who

hasn't made detective yet.

Now, I don't want

you to worry

about things, okay,

'cause it's all

gonna go fine.

Then after work tonight,

I'll go out with the guys

and eat donuts.

Holy macaroni!

See, that's exactly

the kind of attitude

I'm talking about.

I ought to stick you

right behind a desk

for about six months

so you can learn

proper police procedure.

I'm sorry.

But tonight...

Well, I need somebody

who can think on his feet.

This Zadar

is a little too

unpredictable.

Besides,

nobody would ever

mistake you for a cop.

I'm impressed, Ferril.

(SIGHS)

Well, you see, Mr. Zadar,

that it was not

an easy task

to accomplish

because, you see,

the settings are

very, very old.

Fine.

Yes. And there's a

very high degree

of difficulty...

I want you to handle

the delivery.

It's an extra 10 grand.

Certainly, Mr. Zadar.

Certainly.

Believe me,

that will be just fine.

Now, if you will be

kind enough to give us

some privacy for a moment.

Sure.

Reggie, set it up.

(PHONE RINGING)

Get the door.

Let me get

the door.

Get the phone.

Get the phone.

I'll get the phone.

All right,

talk to me.

(WHISPERING)

The abandoned zoo.

The abandoned zoo.

Midnight.

REGGIE:
Midnight.

The children's playground.

The children's playground.

Have a nice day.

And have a nice day.

Children's playground,

the old zoo.

Let's go.

Let's go, huh?

And don't do that.

Don't do that.

Hold this.

All right, look,

Mr. Potato Head

is with you tonight

and I don't care what

he says, you make sure he

wears his hat, all right?

Yeah.

(GRUNTING)

Okay, I'm at

point zero right now.

Still no sign of our man.

(GRUNTS)

(CLEARING THROAT)

I'd like to take

this opportunity

to serenade a couple

of young lovebirds

out there tonight.

on their

very first date.

We have

Derek Kaminsky

and Sam Kennedy.

Let's hear it for them,

folks, Derek and Sam

on their very

first date tonight.

Derek and Sam.

Strangers

in the night

Exchanging diamonds

Oh, lovers at first sight

You don't send a rookie

out to do a man's job.

You qualify?

(CASEY HUMMING)

CASEY:
Don't worry, guys.

Just a walk in the park.

Just a walk in the park.

(GNORM GASPS)

Something in your nose

Was so inviting

La da da da da

We'll be making love

The whole night through

La da da da da,

la da da da da

(GRUNTS)

What was that?

Probably found the seesaw.

I don't believe this.

What is he doing?

He's supposed to

keep talking, come on.

Two more minutes

and I'm going in.

Hello! Is that anyone?

Hey.

What the hell's

going on?

Hey, wait, wait,

I got to count

the money.

You can't take

the jewels till

I count the money.

SAM:
Great, Casey,

just a walk

in the park, right?

KAMINSKY:

Nice going, Gallagher.

Bucking for a promotion?

All right,

does this qualify

as blowing it?

Definitely blowing it.

Am I 50 bucks richer?

Fifty bucks richer.

Oh!

Let's get out of here,

Kaminsky. Come on.

Jesus Christ, Gallagher.

Look, Stan, I know

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