Synopsis: A.C.O.D. follows a seemingly well-adjusted Adult Child of Divorce (Adam Scott) who is forced to revisit the chaos of his parents' (Catherine O'Hara and Richard Jenkins) bitter divorce all over again after his younger brother (Clark Duke) decides to get married.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Stuart Zicherman
Production: The Film Arcade
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

Happy birthday, Carter.

Here we go, everybody.

Happy birthday, pal.

Are you one? Are you two?

Are you three? Are you four?

I hope she chokes on your dick!

Well, at least she gets close to it!

I hate you!

What a filthy, fat mouth you've got!

You lying piece of shit!

She couldn't be

bothered to make a cake, she bought it.

I'll call the police again.

Now blow out the goddamn candles.

Dave, turn it off. Turn it off.

You can eat your own shit and die!

Chapter three:
Seminal Moments.

On his ninth birthday, a simple wish

was made over a store-bought cake.

Stop the madness.

It did not come true.

It's up to you, son.

Who do you want to live with?

Six months till Christmas!

Over the years, he was subject

to emotional manipulation.

Open it fast, it's alive.

Character assassination.

I hate to be the one to tell you, sweetie,

but Daddy's a homosexual.

Pressured into unnatural

and awkward relationships.

This is Chloe. She's going

to be your sister from now on.

And witness to his parents

finding true love,

over and over again.

Oh, God, look at you.

It's just you and me forever.

This young man was eager to grow up.

To be free of these people

who called themselves parents.

And for a while, he did a pretty good

job at convincing the world

he'd done just that.

Please, can we not hire

any more actresses,

no matter how much

waiting experience they have.

- Hey, Etta, how's your husband?

- Not dead yet.

Why don't you just slide 29 over to 30?

Because I have a birthday party at 30.

- How about 15?

- Fifteen is good.

By the way, your brother called.

He's such a flirt.

- Hello, sir. How are you?

- Hi.

That table finished their dessert,

paid their bill

and they've been sitting there

for a half-hour!

We're actually setting

a new table for you right now.

- Good.

- Okay? Thank you. I'm so sorry.

- Word up.

- Thank you.

We're slammed, Trey, talk fast.

Well, I don't have anywhere to sit,

so tell me while I'm standing.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Look!

- Whoa! Really?

- I know!

I think you mean "congratulations"?

Yes. Congratulations.

The phone hasn't stopped. One sec.

Hi, Mom!

I know! I'm so excited.

Wanna get high?

No, I don't wanna get high. Married?

- What's it been? Three or four months?

- Holy shit, yeah, it has been.

- Yeah.

- It's been like four months!

Yeah. That's a huge decision.

Honestly, I just came up

with it yesterday.

We were at Costco

and she made the fucking funniest joke

about this DVD display

and I just thought this is the girl

I want to spend the rest

of my life with, you know?

That's great.

Are you sure you're ready for this, man?

I mean, you kind of...

You live in my garage, Trey.

And you don't have a checkbook.

It just feels right.

- Okay. That's great.

- Thanks, man.

You're not gonna want to do this,

but could you talk to Mom and Dad?

- About?

- Coming to a wedding.

You're not having a wedding.

Just do a small thing at City Hall.

One witness, no hassle.

I mean, isn't there some sort of

traditional Japanese thing you can do?

- She's from Palo Alto.

- I know. But like the old country?

She's third generation.

Trey, Mom and Dad

haven't spoken in 20 years.

I know, but if anybody could get them to,

it's you.

They listen to you.

They don't really.

I mean, I patronize them, so...

Look, things have been pretty good.

We're in a period of real calm here.

You sure you want to take that risk?

It's my wedding.

Please. I mean, if there was ever

going to be a day...

Okay. I'll give it a shot.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.


- You're the man.

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Ben Karlin

Ben Karlin (born c. 1971) is an American television producer and writer. He has won eight Emmy awards, and is best known for his work in The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. He is one of three co-creators of The Colbert Report along with Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. Karlin left Comedy Central in December 2006. He has also been a writer for TV show Modern Family. Karlin will serve as producer, writer, and showrunner of a new TV series set within the Marvel Cinematic Universe titled Damage Control, based on the Marvel Comics' team with the same name. The series will premiere on ABC Network sometime in 2017.His book, released February 2008, is a collection of essays entitled Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me. It contains essays by Andy Richter, Will Forte, David Wain, Stephen Colbert, Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, and many others. Karlin is also the co-editor of America (The Book) alongside Jon Stewart and David Javerbaum. He wrote for Space Ghost: Coast to Coast and The Onion from 1993-1996. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "A.C.O.D." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 2 Dec. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a.c.o.d._2087>.

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