30 Minutes or Less

You're 4 minutes late.

Pizza's free.

C'mon! You guys live two towns away.

It's pretty much impossible to get here in 30 minutes.

Exactly. That's why we ordered

from your shitty Pizza Parlour.

Ok. You guys are pretty smart.

You figured out a way to beat the system.

I'll let you go.

- Thank You!

What No Tip?

Sorry, only got the big bills.

You guys kinda remind me of me,

when i was your age, actually.

You know, Kinda like...

try to get drunk any chance I get.

You got...frige full of beers right?

Man, we don't have anything.

- Really?

- Could you get us some beer?

- Me?

Uhm..Listen..I shouldn't do this..but if you give me the money

that your mom gave you for the pizzas, which you didn't give me,

I will run out and grab you some beers.

- Dude, this is f***ing cheesies.

- But I want a tip this time.

- Okay, we have ...net $40.

- Thanks man.

- Wait, how many of em again?

- Whatever that would get us.

- Okay, I'll see you soo.

- Wait, you boys like O'Doole's right?

-Yeah, I love that sh*t!

- Totally! - You rule!

OOOkay...

Alright!

Wow, cool.

You really went for it.

- Okay, I will..uh..

- Call me

- I will, yes. Okay...take care.

Thanks again!

You've a great personality!

Hey! What the hell?

Have you just been sitting there,

watching the whole time?

Yep. Caught the whole shill. Really

classy move at the end. By the way, that kiss...

- Look, the woman is kind enought to ride me with fellatio services,

I'm not just gonna,

dart outta there, llike she is an untouchable.

- And they say, Chivalry is dead.

Here, have a beer. The alcohol should help you

wash the taste ofyourself out of your mouth.

- Thank you, sir.

- Hey, I rented some movies for us.

I got, uh Lethal Weapon...

I got uh..Lethal Weapon 2.

- I think, I'll have to pass.

I gotta be up early tommorow. I have a class to teach at 7.

- C'mon man, you're a sub.

Just call in sick, like a real teacher do.

- Dude, you know I got promoted

to full-time last month, alright.

You boughtme a laser pointer.

I know.I'm just having

trouble accepting you as "the man."

You know, cos you are YOU.

Filling kids head with a bunch of bullshit.

Laser pointing at stuff, just so you can have your summers off.

- I'm sorry, I have a career. And that i don't have time

to squeeze action movies into my schedule.

- Okay, Call Of Duty?

Fine, but you will get smoked.

- That was sick! Dwayne.

- That was f***ing awesome!

This one's gonna blow even bigger.

- You know, if you weren't such a skinny

little b*tch you coulda been in the military.

- I don't need the military, dude. I taught myself

how to do this sh*t. Went online, and looked all this up.

- Oh, I hear you. I taught myself how to

eat p*ssy. And cut my own hair.

- I taught myself, how to eat p*ssy hair.

- Dude, hey I want this one.

- Give me the Cross-bow.

Blow that sh*t up dude.

This one is mine.

Bin Laden!

This time its personal.

F*** you!

Whoah, man! It's so real!

Run b*tch!

Oh, Check this out.

- What are you doing, dude?

Look, I'm not afraid of Jason.

Look at me..

I'm f***ing Jason.

Who are you two fags f***ing?

Just..Jason Vorhese.

Afternoon, Major.

- It's been 20 years, Dwayne.

When are you finally

gonna get the courage, to ask him out?

- Phss..that's not funny.

We are business partners.

- What kind of business are you in?

- Entrever..ss

- entreaver nouss..?

- That's not a business!

You can't even pronounce it.

We're just trying to watch this movie.

About 45 minutes left and 3D tits coming.

You come in at the worst possible time.

I bought that TV set so I could watch my football,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)