28 Days

Oh, God, it's a fire!

Fire!

A jackhammer?

On Saturday? He should be castrated.

Saturday.

Oh, God. Oh, God, it's Saturday.

Get up! Get up!

Get up, get up, get up!

My sister's gonna kill me.

Oh, my God, what did we do last night?

The usual.

Collected money for the poor little

homeless children at the church bazaar.

l think the vicar must

have spiked the Kool-Aid.

We are way late!

What am l gonna tell my sister?

ls this yours or mine?

-Oh, my God, how did that happen?

-l haven't a clue.

There's my excuse. l'm late

because my tits caught on fire.

Come on!

Find a cab! Taxi!

-Hey, cab!

-Right there! Get him.

Can you go a little faster, please?

Fast and alive. Alive, all right?

The alive part is

incredibly important in this case.

You all right, darling?

Oh, God, l could care less.

That's the whole point.

Right. To care less.

This is tasting like cherry brandy

because l haven't got her gift.

Thank God for bar cars.

You're late!

Jasper, this is...

...a bridesmaid

with makeup and a dress.

Really late. Like, 45 minutes.

She has absolutely no sense of humor,

but she's really good at telling time.

l am so sorry.

There was a water main break

and the train got stuck in Rye.

An electrical thingy.

And just, explosion--

Gwen.

You make it impossible to love you.

Sh*t!

May we present

Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Topton?

Like one?

Did you think it was

a pretty wedding? l did.

Wasn't it pretty?

Yeah, but no one wants pretty

anymore from a wedding.

They want a scandal.

They want to take home a story.

Try these.

This is a party. Let's have some fun

with it, for God's sake.

Oh, my God!

-What happened?

-You--!

Possibly crank it up a little?

Liven everything up.

There's a ladies' room

right over there.

Settle down, buddy!

Oh, sorry.

Don't worry. l'll replace it.

l'll be right back.

Hey, lady! Hey, lady,

what are you doing?

Cake store. Cake store. Cake store.

This is HeIga. What city?

Yes, Bedford.

A cake store.

Lady, if l knew the name,

l wouldn't have called you, okay?

Oh, God!

This is perfect.

All right, everybody.

Now, circle up.

That's it.

Come on.

Together, we're better!

We're better together!

No drugs!

That judge totally screwed me.

Good morning!

I shouId've picked

that rehab in the city.

People chant.

-They do what?

-They chant.

They think l'm chanting, they have

a whole 'nother thing coming.

lt could be worse. Could be prison.

Oh, that's worse?

You never hear of being raped

with a plunger in rehab.

Because they cover it up.

lt's not funny!

Excuse me. Talking.

No cell phones.

Gwen C., l'm Betty. Follow me.

We carry our own bags here.

This isn't the Sheraton.

Oh, glass. ln case l slit my wrists.

l get it.

An eyelash curler.

What'll l do with that? Stab myself?

Curl my tongue to death?

While you're going through my stuff,

let's see...

...what Betty's got in her drawers.

Oh, my God.

Betty has locked her drawers.

What? lt's for my back pain.

These things will be returned

to you when you check out.

Except for the Vickodin,

which will be flushed.

Smile!

lt's ''Vicodin.''

No calls, except during posted

phone time and only for 1 0 minutes.

No fraternization. That's romance

and/or sex between patients.

Oh, and we chant here.

Don't be put off by it.

Some people prefer it

to the Serenity Prayer.

I'II be your friend

I'II heIp you carry on

For it won't be Iong

TiII I'm gonna need somebody--

Your room.

You're responsible

for keeping it clean.

Andrea, this is Gwen.

Settle her in.

-Do you watch Santa Cruz?

-Pardon me?

Santa Cruz. lt's my soap.

They only let us watch TV at night,

so l've missed the last two weeks.

Hey, an intellectual.

Like the stuff you did to get you

in here was real brain food.

Parker House people, this is Gwen.

Gwen, this is everybody.

Hello, Gwen.

l'm thinking booze.

Cocaine.

Painkillers.

-This is not a nice game.

-Well?

Well, what?

What's your drug of choice?

Alcohol, cocaine, Percodan,

heroin, glue?

l have to pick one?

Your gateway drug.

What you go for first.

l guess l drink.

Yes. Come to Papa.

Hand them over.

l know people, admit that.

Get your thumb out of that.

What's the matter?

Haven't you ever seen

a trach scar before?

lt's a tracheostomy.

lt's not a growth.

lt's not a deformity. lt's a scar.

So you can stop staring at it.

Okay, good. Thank you.

She wasn't staring, Daniel.

No? And how would you know, f*ggot?

You're about as perceptive

as Helen Keller.

When you think about it,

Helen Keller was pretty perceptive.

Shut up!

Look at him walk away!

Run away! Run away!

We were up in heaven

Now we're in the mud

We feII off the wagon

You shouId have heard the thud

-l like your coat.

-Thanks.

-ls that leather?

-Yes.

-Not vinyl?

-Nope.

-You believe in killing animals?

-Yes.

-For clothing?

-Yes.

So do l.

For 28 boring days

Don't worry about Daniel.

He's just self-conscious about

his neck because he did it to himself.

He had this thing where he'd pump his

stomach so he wouldn't get a hangover.

l guess he knew how, because,

you know, he's a doctor. Or was.

He lost his license after

he killed that patient, but....

Anyway, l guess one night while he was

scraping that tube to his stomach...

...somehow he screwed up and he

couldn't breathe and he had to...

...poke a hole in his throat

with a pen or something.

Jasper, see if you can

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