.45

Big Al has a huge cock.

I'm serious. I'm not f*cking with you.

Thing...thing is humongous.

Okay, it's like-

Looks like it's got little arms

and legs and shit. Looks alive

Like I could put it over my shoulder

and burp it, know what I'm saying?

It's like a plumbing tool or something.

The first time I saw it...

I was like:
"Put that thing away.

You ain't coming near

me with that monster. "

But you know Big Al, you know...

He just kept

coming at me.

Y'know he, he looks at me and he says:

Hey, you think you can handle that?

Huh? Think you can? Huh?

I mean ...

It was like ...

I mean look, I'm competitive, right?

I was, I was in competitive

gymnastics in high school.

So, y'know, I took another look at it.

And I was like:
well, I could

have a hell of a time trying.

You know?

I mean,

we had great sex.

Y'know, I'm talking about

'tie me up to the bedpost ...

with your dirty sweatsocks'

sex, you know what I'm saying?

You know. Big Al

's king of the neighborhood.

Look, you can say what you want about

him, Big Al is a great f*ck.

Al, what's up?

Sing it.

Hey listen, I got some ...

new toasters and some track

suits back at the house.

Sign me up.

- Where the f*ck is Reilly?

- Haven't seen him.

Whoa, careful there, baby.

Hey, baby.

- Hey, Sarge.

- Where is he?

Over there.

That mope?

- I thought I told you no mopes.

- You said you wanted customers.

I got you customers, all right?

Don't worry about it. He's clean. snssn checked him out.

Go make us some money.

Wait here, okay?

How you doing?

Alright.

Hey, where you from?

- Long Island.

- Really?

What can I do for you?

I want a gun.

What are you, a f*cking asshole?

You wanna say that a little f*cking louder?

You wanna broadcast it around the island with the f*cking news?

- Sorry.

- Huh?

Where on the Island?

Ice Peak.

- Islanders or Rangers?

- What?

The Islanders or the f*cking Rangers.

What are you, a f*cking moron?

Rangers.

- Rangers?

- Yes.

Is this a f*cking interview??

I just want my 45.

Stop!

Liar!

- Enough!

- F*ck you!

- What is it?

- He's clean.

You got no guns.

-You came in too early.

-Too f*cking early?

That's right.

- You f*cking knew what you were supposed to do.

- I did what I was supposed to do.

Hey, you got this? Huh?

Now get your f*ckin hands off

my f*ckin dick and get out of here

Before I f*ckin file a harassment suit, you

F*cking fag

bisexual f*cking Village People.

Get the f*ck outta here.

Get outta my bar.

- Motherf*cker!

- I'll f*cking get you!

We'll f*cking get you!

Kiss my dick, you

f*cking prick!

Get the f*ck outta my bar!

See ya.

You're hot, Baby.

- Yeah?

- Sexy.

Let's Get Away

resolve an issue.

Big Al

He was always trouble.

Ever since he was born.

Motherf*cker! F*cking how?

- What did I do?

- I thought you said you and had him checked out!

- We did have him checked out.

- What, together, you in on the set up or something?

C-section, y'know. 48 hours of labor.

F*cking kid!

He was never no good!

I shoulda never had him.

You can't f*ckin run an

organization like this, ok?

It's sloppy.

It's for amateurs.

You gotta-- you gotta plan these things right.

What organization are you talking about, Al?

He never comes home for the holidays.

I mean, it's Thanksgiving, y'know,

But you're not gonna find him here. No.

No sense of family.

No sense of loyalty.

I, I don't know what... I don't know

what went wrong with him. I...

I didn't smoke during my pregnancy.

I didn't drink, y'know. Not a drop.

Beer and wine, but

that's okay.

I'm sick and tired of it, God!

Hey! What are you doing?

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