Zoolander 2 Page #2

When I met you guys

two years ago,

it was the best orgy

of my life.

Let's get back to

that feeling.

It's there.

Hansel.

Every relationship

has to evolve.

And somehow, you've managed

to stay the same.

But you're gonna

have to change, my man.

'Cause change,

she is a-comin'.

What?

Natalka.

All of you?

How is this even possible?

We thought you'd be happy.

Well, I am happy.

That, uh...

It's just a lot to process,

and that's what I'm doing.

To be honest,

I've never seen myself

in this role, you know,

as a...

You mean a father?

Well... uh... I...

Let me...

I want to check on...

On the camel here!

Who am I?

Who am I?

Hey, hansel!

Billy Zane?

Got your netflix.

And this.

- Thanks very much.

- No, it's my bag.

Excuse me,

i think that's...

No, trust me,

this is my bag.

Just look at

the ticket right here.

Hansel.

Never heard of him,

honcho.

Look right here

at the ticket

and you can see that...

Derek zoolander.

Hi. It's been a long time.

Yeah. Not long enough.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

i think I should peace.

Wait a minute!

We haven't seen

each other since...

Since the building

you designed

fell on my face

and ruined my career?

Yeah, it's been a while.

It was an accident.

I didn't mean to...

You didn't mean to build

the support beams

out of popsicle sticks

and highly-flammable

rubber cement?

That was just

a little accident?

Yeah.

This is it. Forever.

Because I promise you,

this is the last time

we will ever see each other.

Right here, this moment.

Good-bye forever.

Works for me.

Hope you're not

an epiplectic,

because we're about

to get blinded.

Yep. Here we go.

Susan boyle, right here!

Take a picture of that!

Vultures!

I guess with my beard

and your disgusting face,

they don't know

who we are.

Derek! Hansel!

Hey, boys. I'm vip.

Vip?

Yeah.

I'm in charge

of social media

for don atari.

I've been working for him

since I was 10.

How old are you now?

Eleven.

Should we go to the hotel?

Pretty strange, you and i

both getting called back

to the big stage

like this.

A gig's a gig.

I'm just doing this

to get my son back.

Explain how doing

a fashion show's

gonna accomplish that.

Simple. Child services hears

I'm working again,

kkk, a responsible parent,

and they give me

my son back.

Responsible parent?

What? You don't think

i could be one?

No, it just brings up

some junk from the past.

I didn't have a father.

It's kind of my

big issue right now.

You didn't

have a father?

Nah.

All my mom ever told me

was my dad was a beat cop.

Always on the road.

The road away

from little hansel.

Valentina. You're going

to want to see this.

Check out

Mr. disco Barry gibb.

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