Zerophilia Page #3

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LUKE:

Oh, I'm a paramecium. That's way

more evolved. I'm practically pond

scum.

MICHELLE:

Maybe I'll give you a call when the

truck's ready.

LUKE:

Great. You mean to go out, right?

Michelle smiles, and walks out through the squeaky door at

the back. Keenan approaches.

KEENAN:

(a whisper)

Whoa. That was her! Jesus, you're

sweatin' like crazy.

Luke sits, nods 'yes,' wipes BEADS of SWEAT from his brow.

LUKE:

We're goin' out.

Keenan gives him a high-five. Luke smiles, catching his

breath.

INT. LUKE & KEENAN'S PLACE

A small, run-down house. Hockey gear, dirty laundry and

Keenan are strewn across the garage-sale sofa. He munches a

burrito while watching the game.

LUKE (O.S.)

KEENAN! COME HERE, QUICK!!!

Keenan leaps up.

KEENAN:

WHAT?!

He races down the hall, sliding on the linoleum.

10.

BATHROOM:

Luke, a towel around his waist, stares at himself in the

mirror, horrified.

LUKE:

Look! My chest!

Keenan looks, clueless, a little uncomfortable now.

KEENAN:

Yeah?

LUKE:

I had hair. Come on! Not a lot,

but you've seen me -some- right?

KEENAN:

Okay, I don't know. So?

LUKE:

Well, where'd it go?

Keenan takes a bite of the burrito in his hand, now mashed.

KEENAN:

I really thought you gettin' laid

was gonna' help. What is it with

you, man? I mean, you're smarter

than me, you're better lookin' than

me.

LUKE:

I am not.

KEENAN:

I know. But I'm just sayin', you

can get any girl you want.

LUKE:

Easy for you, you've got Janine.

KEENAN:

I'm still workin' on my GED. How

long you think Brainiac's gonna'

wanna' hang with that?

LUKE:

She worships you.

11.

KEENAN:

Man, I'm gonna' be that wild fling

she had with the local dude from

the bike shop. "God, what was his

name?"

LUKE:

You're crazy.

Keenan gives him a look of "I'm crazy?"

KEENAN:

You're gonna' have a great time

with her tonight. Just be

yourself. ...Mostly.

EXT. CAFE LUNIZIA - NIGHT

Cheap elegance. Luke and Michelle dine on the patio, strung

with far too many white lights.

MICHELLE:

I caught him with my best friend.

Former. Such a cliche'.

LUKE:

Sorry.

MICHELLE:

Winthrop Hawkins. "Hawk." From

this Park Avenue family. He'd know

what kind of mushrooms those are,

what the best wine is.

LUKE:

The best wine is beer.

MICHELLE:

I'm such a moron.

LUKE:

You're not.

MICHELLE:

No, I am. I have incontrovertible

proof.

She kicks off her shoe and sticks her bare foot on the table,

a TATTOO of a GREEN BIRD on her ankle.

12.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

It's a hawk. Get it? "Hawkins?"

See, you're smirking!

LUKE:

I'm not.

MICHELLE:

And it's GREEN! That's the one

color tattoo they can't REMOVE!

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