Zaman: The Man from the Reeds Page #2

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- No, I... Not like that.

You guys...

You guys are actually ridiculous.

Man overboard!

Chris! What are you... What are you doing?

- Chris, what are you doing?

- I'm washing me bollocks.

- Come on, get in here. It's beautiful.

- Don't be a twat.

We've got to be at the pub by 6:.00,

or we'll lose our overnight mooring.

I'm melting. I'm melting!

- Jump on in. It's beautiful. Come on.

- No way.

How about you, Nick?

Gonna sit there and read your brochure?

What's the matter?

You scared you might pull your pants off

and she'll see your little pecker?

No, mate.

I just don't fancy catching Weil's disease.

What the f***'s Weil's disease?

According to this, it's a

"potentially lethal bacteria that originates

in rat's piss. "

It's very common in these waters,

apparently, so don't swallow.

He's just winding you up, baby.

You ignore him.

I'm kidding. I'm joking.

I'm messing with you, mate.

Yeah, nice one.

Make sure it's your f***ing last.

So where's this pub, then?

About two miles that way.

- It's all reeds.

- Exactly.

It seems this map's a bit out of date.

Yeah, about 25 years out of date.

That's a bummer.

Maybe we should go back, get a new one,

start again.

No, that'll take forever.

See, why can't we just go down

one of these?

How are you gonna get this through there?

They seem to be doing all right.

- What?

- Look. Over there.

The white cruiser, just the same as our one.

It's already going through the reeds.

I don't know that's such a good idea.

Now, listen. Listen, I'm not standing here

drinking this red all night.

It's f***ing minging.

I say we follow them to the pub.

If it all goes tits-up, we'll blame him.

- Push left.

- I am pushing left.

Go the other side, mate.

Food for the workers.

Here we go, this should help

keep the flies off.

- Couple of shots.

- Now that's what I'm talking about.

- Has someone farted?

- It stinks.

It's methane, from under the mud.

- Methane?

- Yeah.

Yeah, this whole area used to be

a peat bog, and then in the Middle Ages,

they dug it up for fuel,

and then I think it was the 16th...

- No, it was the 17th century.

- Yeah.

It all flooded 'cause the sea level was rising.

Right, but this is the most diverse

wildlife area

- in the whole of Britain.

- All right, bore off.

Stick that brochure up your ass. Mel!

Stop filing your nails

and get your fanny up here.

Did somebody mention cocktails?

That is class.

- You're not going to eat all of this.

- What do you think?

- Grab your glass. Here, grab your glass.

- Okay. Thank you.

Okay, could you all

raise your glasses, please?

To Joe and Hels, the nicest people I know.

- The only people you know.

- Thanks, love.

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