Young Doctors In Love Page #3

What? What are you talking about?

Hysterical pregnancy.

She wants a straight life so badly,

she's convinced herself she's pregnant.

Doctor, this girl is in heavy labor.

It's just not so, Doctor.

Get out.

Thank you, Doctor.

- What happened? Was that a balloon?

- Next.

Poor kid.

I never knew it was possible

for a medical doctor to be so unfeeling.

It sounds to me

like you're falling in love with him.

- How old are you?

- Seventeen.

I'm 27.

Hold me, like you held that duck.

We're gonna take good

care of your dad. Okay?

Yeah, that's nice of you.

You don't have to worry

your pretty face about it.

Dr. Pepper, please report

to the Diabetes Ward at once.

Sal? Is that you?

It is you.

Got yourself a big private room, huh?

All alone.

That's nice.

I got a little something for you.

A goodbye kiss from the Gallentino family.

The Gallentino family

always kisses on the nose.

Not in my hospital.

What did you put up there?

Move and you'll be shitting glass for a week.

Thank you, ladies.

What's your name?

- Malamud.

- Where are your records?

I don't know, I lost them.

Well, I'll find them. What's wrong with you?

I'm sick, okay?

You sure are, pal.

And so, without further fuss,

I give you the ever-diligent...

Dr. Oliver Ludwig.

- Doctors.

- Hello.

Welcome.

Here in Pathology, we consult the dead...

and ask them how we may cure the living.

Here we interpret the messages

the body sends us.

Messages found in substances...

the uninformed find disgusting.

They are not disgusting, they are beautiful.

They are the literature of pathology.

The human being emits, oozes, secretes...

excretes, salivates, urinates,

menstruates, lactates...

evacuates, expectorates...

and ejaculates.

You left out regurgitates.

Don't help me, Kurtzman.

Now, there are more than

twenty vital bodily fluids.

And I'm proud to say that I have

tasted every one of them.

This urine, for example.

What will it tell us?

Definite sugar taste.

Now I don't need a battery of tests

to tell me...

that the patient has a slight

pre-diabetic condition.

Doctor, will you confirm my findings?

No, thank you, I'm trying to cut down.

That's an order, Doctor.

I know my limit.

No sugar.

No sugar taste, the doctor says.

Just my little way of showing you that...

there's something far more important

to the pathologist than taste.

That is the power of observation.

If you had been observing, Doctor,

you would have seen that I put...

this finger in the urine,

but I put this finger in my mouth.

Lesson number one, Doctor.

Yes, but if you had

tasted the specimen, Doctor...

you would have noticed

a dangerously high level of fractoids.

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