You Instead Page #3

Year:
2011
66 Views


Kasabian are about to play

the main stage.

So why are you walking towards it?

Are you holding hands?

Babe, let go.

I will pay you 100

to watch Kasabian.

What?

I'm just trying to work it out.

Just call me when you're single.

Baby. All right, fine.

I'll find you, all right?

Nice girl.

Nice work.

[EDITORS' "PAPILLON"

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Hey, man.

All right, mate?

You get rid of that bloody gorgon?

Hey, I'm right...

[BRUCE CHUCKLES]

No luck with the bolt cutters?

I thought you were looking.

I'll sort you out first thing.

We gotta solve this now.

BRUCE:
I'm busy.

Gotta have something.

MARK:
Hey, beautiful.

ADAM:
She's got a gig to play.

MORELLO:

OW! Sh*t!

Jesus Christ.

It's Adam Elva you're handcuffed to.

Hi, man. I'm Mark.

Good to meet you.

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

Excuse me. Hello!

So, what happened?

I'm sorry about this, man.

For what?

What? Nothing. I don't know. What?

Yeah, that's right.

Nothing happened.

You're trying

to make me jealous because?

Because. I don't know.

Because I'm a dick. Sony, man.

[CHUCKLES]

Don't worry. We'll find a way out.

Leave it with me.

We're gonna figure it out.

MORELLO:
I have an

appointment with my band.

MARK:
It's just a pair of handcuffs.

MORELLO:
I know. I know.

MARK:

Relax. Relax.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

NEWTON:
Now, your motivation to sing along

with this particular piece of music

is that we are all pirates

with rabies!

[NEWTON FAULKNER'S "GONE IN THE

MORNING" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

That is right, ladies and gentlemen.

Pirates with rabies.

Could you do just one more, please?

Eco Lobby.

NEWTON:

And we are 60 feet from shore.

Now, on the shore

are our arch nemeses,

the barbarian hordes.

And we are now 50 feet

away from them.

Fifty feet from battle

and almost certain death.

We are now 40 feet, 40 feet from

battle and almost certain death.

We are now 30 feet from battle

and almost certain death.

We are now 10 feet.

Nine feet!

Eight feet!

Six feet!

Five f ricking feet!

So let's dance some more.

Four, three! Before they're:

ALL:

Gone in the morning

I wanna know

Why they're gone in the morning

I wanna know

Why they're gone in the morning

I wanna know

Why they're gone in the morning

Before they're gone in the morning

I wanna know

Why they're gone in the morning

LUCIE:

Kim, it's The Prodigy.

KIM:
Just say the name, Eco Lobby,

promoting our charity

and if you can just

lunge towards lens.

You just need pbbt.

KIM:
Yeah, just bang, like that.

Right. I'm Tyko from The Make.

No, she's gonna give it to me.

Okay, cool.

KIM:
You know how to lunge?

Hey, Danny! All right, man.

KIM:
Do you know...?

That's Danny. He died last year.

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Thomas Leveritt

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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