You Instead Page #2

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Ow! I am now.

As far as I can see,

The Make only need their right hands.

Whereas you just need

your fists, right?

Simmer down, boy band.

"Boy band".

[HUMMING]

What? I don't...

What are you doing?

Where's your manager?

ADAM:
Sorting it out.

Relax. He's taking care of business.

Thanks.

Sure. Hello again.

[IMITATES A MONKEY]

Bollocks, I'm gonna sort this out.

I'm waiting for Bob.

MORELLO:
Get up!

ADAM:
What the f*** are you doing?

MORELLO:
Come on, let's go.

I'm gonna sort this out.

There's gotta be police.

KIRSTY:
We have three hours, though.

I don't trust his manager.

[PALOMA FAITH'S "UPSIDE DOWN"

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

BOTH:

Eco Lobby.

Harder.

Harder! More!

Ah!

Sh*t.

Dynamite's not gonna send

a wood chisel through that.

Here's what you need.

You get a big cold chisel

drop a sledgehammer on it,

you're sorted, man.

Where do we get a cold chisel?

Any blacksmith's.

Moron!

Hey, hey, hey.

Can't hear you!

ADAM:
Help us out.

Can you look for some bolt cutters?

I'll be back in a bit. Thank you.

PALOMA:

That I'm no fool, fool, fool, fool

I'm just upside down

Ain't got no cares

I ain't got no rules

I think I like

Living upside down

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

ALL:

Eco Lobby!

We just need a set of bolt cutters.

There's a camping shop.

No, look, this is hardened steel.

We need an industrial-strength tool.

I think I've found one.

Oh, ho, ho.

Really?

A comedian.

ADAM:

Get your hands off me, man.

CREW:
Go to Artist Liaisons,

maybe then can help you.

What's wrong with you?

Why would Artists Liaisons

have cutters?

Thank you, T in the Park!

[CROWD CHEERS]

SINGER:

Are you having a good time?

MORELLO:
Harder.

ADAM:
It's too big. I can't get it in.

LAKE:

Adam?

Don't tell me

this is not what it looks like.

ADAM:
What does it look like?

Oh, no.

Like you're handcuffed

to some girl.

Some crazy dude handcuffed us

while we were praying.

I don't know. It's f***ed.

He said he was single.

LAKE:
What?

Yeah, what?

Said he'd just split from some model

that didn't get him.

Hi. I'm Morello.

You come with me, mister.

Uh. Ow, baby, wait.

Hello again. Yep.

Okay, get these off now.

We're trying.

Where's the key?

If we had a key...

Let's use your catwalk-honed intellect

to break free.

Who is this?

She is this total stranger.

She is incredibly awful.

And promiscuous.

Be..

Baby, wait up.

Ow!

Can you just walk

like a normal person?

You don't have to be like this.

I want no part

of this Malibu Barbie hellscape.

That's it. I'm done.

Come on. Ow!

Ow! Damn, that hurt.

You're gonna have to hold my hand.

All right, you know what?

Baby, where are you gonna be?

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