You Don't Mess with the Zohan Page #2

Synopsis: Zohan Dvir works as a Special Agent and lives with his orthodox parents in Israel. He wants to give up this life full of dangerous encounters with Palestinians. While in the process of apprehending a Palestinian activist known simply as the Phantom, he fakes his death, hides in a dog-kennel on a plane bound for New York, and decides to try his hand as a hair-stylist. He is refused employment initially, but when he offers to work for free, Dahlia hires him as a cleaner. When a hair-stylist named Debbie quits, Zohan replaces her, winning over elderly female clientèle, and falling in love with Dahlia herself. Before Zohan could propose to her, Dahlia's landlord, Walbridge, who has been raising rents regularly, hires skinhead goons to terrorize the neighborhood, creates misunderstandings between Jews, Muslims, Arabs, and Palestinians, and drives them out, so as to enable him to construct a new building which is topped by a roller coaster. When Zohan decides to confront these skinheads, he
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Dennis Dugan
Actors: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Nick Swardson
Production: Sony Pictures
  2 wins & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.5
Metacritic:
54
Rotten Tomatoes:
38%
  You Don't Mess with the Zohan Movie Quotes »
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PG-13
Year:
2008
113 min
$100,018,837
Website
3,106 Views

Zohan.

Zohan, bring it.

Why you do this! I feel no pain.

No, no, no. I feel no pain.

- I feel no pain. This is too much...

- No, no, no. I feel no pain.

I have told you in other fights.

No, no, no. I kill you right now.

Look, look, look.

The piranha,

it looks very painful for you.

Is good, is good.

Is very nice. Yes, yes.

Fizzy Bubblech for me.

You like what you see!

Time to die.

So let's go.

Okay, game over.

Yeah!

I kill!

I kill the Zohan!

Zohan is dead.

The Phantom!

Cutting the hair,

this makes something beautiful.

Instead of shooting it.

That's why I had to fake to die.

I could have captured Phantom again,

but for what! They trade him.

I love my country,

but the fighting, it never ends.

It's like Mr. Scrappy, you bite Coco.

Coco, you bite him back.

Soon you are both having worms,

eating your own poopech...

I understand. The pills.

Your parents think

they know what's best for you.

Sleep.

It's all about not getting recognized.

I know how great I looked

in the beard...

but I'll make this work for me,

you'll see.

Rise and shine, guys.

Good morning.

Is nice, huh!

It's the Avalon.

It says I care about the way I look,

but I'm still approachable.

Oh, you like this!

Who wants to go next, guys!

Who wants to look silky smooth!

Yes. Yes.

Oh, where are my two little babies!

Oh, come on.

Come on out, Scrappy, come on out.

Come to Mama, Mr. Coco.

Mr. Scrappy. Coco.

What happened!

Who gave you permission

to do this, huh!

Who did! Answer me.

Scrappy, was it you!

It was you, wasn't it!

You're always the instigator.

Bad dog. You are a very bad dog.

Never again are you gonna travel.

Take me to the Paul Mitchell

hair salon.

- First time in New York!

- Yes, my friend.

So, what brings you here!

I have a dream.

I had a dream too.

What dream you have!

My dream was to come to America...

...and make enough money

to send for me brothers and sisters...

...so that we all could enjoy

freedom together.

- This is good dream.

- Oh, yes, it is.

- Is dream come true!

- No, man.

Me brothers and sisters

were hacked to death.

But I love the Chinese food here.

It's incredible.

- Hey, you forgot these.

- Those are for you, my friend.

Good morning for you.

I am here to meet Mr. Paul Mitchell.

And who are you!

Scrappy Coco.

I am here to take a job from him.

He isn't in right now.

That's good. So I will wait, then.

You know what! I'll take

one Fizzy Bubblech, a raspberry.

You know,

he actually doesn't come in too often.

Yes, just tell him I am perfect for this,

so let's go.

- I am the best.

- The best at what!

All of this. The cutting, the styling,

the making it silky smooth.

Rate this script:3.3 / 3 votes

Adam Sandler

Adam Richard Sandler is an American comedian, actor, and filmmaker. He was a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995, before going on to star in many Hollywood films, which have combined to earn more than $2 billion at the box office. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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