You Can't Cheat an Honest Man Page #2
- APPROVED
- Year:
- 1939
- 79 min
- 181 Views
I'm only 5'8" myself.
I'm short in my money.
No mistakes rectified
after leaving the window.
- You're dishonest.
- Dishonest?
- Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego.
- You cheated us.
Sir, you impugn my honour.
As my dear old Grandfather Litvak said,
just before they sprung the trap,
he said, "You can't cheat an honest man."
"Never give a sucker an even break
or smarten up a chump."
- We want what's comin' to us.
- I'm gonna get it, too.
- You are?
- Yeah.
- You too?
- Come on, give it to us.
You are certainly both gonna get it.
What do you mean by?
You can't do this.
- Get out.
- He cheated.
That's libellous.
Demon rum. My heart bleeds
for those poor boys.
- We're being gypped.
- It looks like it.
- We do the work and don't get any money.
- I'll have to talk to Whipsnade.
- Talk? Action, that's what we need.
- What can we do?
I've been reconnoitring,
and I know where he keeps his money.
Charlie. So what?
- I want to get my hooks on it.
- Stay away from that box office.
You gotta fight fire with fire,
crooks with crookery.
Forget it.
- Bergen.
- Yes?
- He takes a shower every day at 2:00.
- I said forget it.
All right.
Just thinking, that's all.
Giddap, Napoleon.
~ Try-de-die ~
Thank you. Step right up.
The big show is now going on.
- It's time for the sideshow, Mr Ribsteak.
- Ribsteak.
You don't mean sirloin with onions,
by any chance, do you?
It's Whipsnade!
Gimme that ticket, you lug.
Gimme that ticket, you coot.
Give it to me!
Agh! Broken my metatarsal bone.
Ladies and gentlemen, this way.
Right up on this platform.
The world's greatest novelty -
the Pronkwonk Twins,
Elwood and Brentwood.
Elwood is ten minutes older
than Brentwood
and has been in a hurry ever since.
Ladies and gentlemen, Brentwood
is the smallest giant in the world
whilst his brother Elwood
is the largest midget in the world.
They baffle science.
- He's dishonest.
- Quiet.
- Listen to that guy lie.
- Quiet, you termites' flophouse.
Did you hear that?
That's the last straw.
I'm going.
Now if you'll take one short step with me
to the next...
Wah!
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Upsa-daisy.
What a floperoo.
Ladies and gentlemen,
on this platform
we have The Great Edgar
and his whispering pine,
Charlie McCarthy.
They baffle science.
Are you eating a tomato,
or is that your nose?
- Shh.
- Oh.
Very good, very good, Charles.
You must come with me after the show
to the lumberyard
and ride piggyback on the buzz saw.
Nobody's gonna find me after the show.
Yes, they are. You'll be hanging
in my window as a Venetian blind.
That makes me "shutter".
Quiet, or I'll throw a woodpecker on you.
So help me, I'll clip that guy.
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"You Can't Cheat an Honest Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/you_can't_cheat_an_honest_man_23853>.
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