Yogi Bear Page #3

Please, excuse the pre-tied bow tie.

My mornings are often rushed.

It's fine, Boo Boo. This is going to be

a whole new perspective for a documentary.

The Boo Boo cam will capture the true

wilderness in all its natural glory.

No other human in sight.

That sounds like my apartment. Ha, ha.

Uh, you know, because I live alone.

Well, plenty of women have tried

to change that.

It's just, I haven't found one that...

- Likes you?

- What? No. No, that...

Will return your calls?

Can you stop helping, please?

Sir, I can see you like this lady.

But your courting rituals need work.

What you need to do is follow her around

for two days making snorting sounds.

Then fight any male that looks at her.

And then, of course, urinate on her

to mark her as your territory.

Works every time.

I got it under control, Yogi.

- Boo Boo, you're rolling.

- Cool.

Yogi Bear, a brown bear commonly found

in North America and Alaska.

Weighing up to 1800 pounds, brown bears

are also the national animal of Finland.

I don't think you have to narrate.

But I liked where you were going with it,

Boo Boo.

- I was hooked.

- Really?

Yes. Now try to film from flattering angles,

if you know what I mean.

Pic-a-nic baskets may be delicious on

the lips, but they're a lifetime on the hips.

Oh, no.

Ranger Smith! Ranger Smith.

The mayor's here.

What's he doing here?

Why didn't he give us more warning?

I have to secure the area.

All units, lock down the park.

Repeat, lock down the park.

Jones, you know

I'm the only other ranger here, right?

Yeah.

- Ranger Smith, we need to talk.

- You could've just called.

Yeah, but I thought

this would be more friendly.

I'm really working on my people skills.

Anyway, I am closing your park down.

- Okay.

- What?

Oh, yeah, this place just costs the city

way too much money.

Jellystone hasn't made its operating budget

in 10 years.

You know, it's hard to compete with

all those amusement parks...

Oh, hey, you're not kidding. Oh, have you

guys been to Lincoln Log Land yet?

Oh, man, they have got a roller coaster

there, it's made completely out of logs.

It's just like they rode in the pioneer days.

It's unbelievable.

Sir, Jellystone is special. Okay?

It's turning 100 years old this very year.

Why, it's a landmark.

I would never let it be closed down.

Well, uh, you actually

don't have a choice.

Have you read the city bylaws lately?

Chapter 6. Section 73.

"Any municipal property

that can't generate enough money...

...to cover its operating budget...

...can be rezoned for other uses."

And since Jellystone loses money

every year, we're shutting it down.

Uh, sorry?

- I thought that went well.

- Yeah.

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