Yellowbeard Page #2

Synopsis: Yellowbeard, a pirate's pirate, is allowed to escape from prison to lead the authorities to his treasure. He finds that his wife neglected to tell him that he now has a son, 20, and shame of shame, an intellectual. The British Navy, Yellowbeard, his son, and members of Yellowbeard's old crew all go after the treasure.
Director(s): Mel Damski
Production: MGM
 
IMDB:
6.0
Rotten Tomatoes:
22%
PG
Year:
1983
96 min
775 Views


- What do you want?

The pirate Yellowbeard

is due to be released in two days...

and despite years of unpleasantness,

he's still told us nothing...

of the treasure he's hidden.

However, I have a detailed plan here.

I doubt if she could manage

more than the label on a gin bottle.

Just tell us.

Well, milady, we'd like you to increase

his sentence, so he's bound to escape...

and make straight for the treasure.

I shall need a fast ship to follow him.

A sensible request, I think, Your Majesty.

The beekeeper would like this signed.

Certainly.

- Come on, move it, you ratbag!

- Get in there!

- Mr. Yellowbeard.

- Captain to you, you scum.

Quite. Sorry, "Captain" Yellowbeard.

Yes. Twenty years ago today,

you were sentenced to jail.

Yes, and now I'm due to be released.

Yes. Or rather no.

You see, 20 years ago...

no one was expected

to live in jail for 20 years.

Filthy, horrendous conditions

that existed then, and, indeed...

still exist today.

So the judge who sentenced you

had no idea you would survive.

Therefore, Her Majesty

has graciously agreed...

to increase your sentence

a further 140 years. Case dismissed.

I've got him!

Sorry.

- Get off of me!

- What are you doing?

Stop him! Stop him!

Get over there where you belong!

- Went well with the Commander then, did it?

- No.

So I can take it you won't be leaving us

just yet, as it were.

They broke their solemn word.

There's governments for you.

I expect they wanted to know

about the treasure.

Yes, and that's something

they'll never know.

Well, until you tell them about the treasure...

the only way you're gonna get out of here

is feet first.

- Open the gate!

- Must be an awful strain...

being the only man in the world

knowing where it's hidden.

Why don't you share the burden

with a friend?

Gilbert.

Mr. Moon?

- Is that you?

- Get a move on, Gilbert.

Coming, Captain. Here I come.

Move, you scum.

- Yellowbeard.

- Who was that stink?

I do wish it didn't have to be

such a rush every time.

What?

I haven't got time for that now!

Well, it's been 20 years

since we had a little cuddle...

and what do you do?

Come in here and give me a kiss?

No. You rush in and hack a hole in the wall.

- Where's the map?

- What map?

If you say you don't know where it is...

I'll nail your tits to the table!

Oh, dear!

I know where it is.

It's burnt.

You burnt my map?

- But only after I copied it.

- Where's the copy?

- When little Dan came along...

- Who's Dan?

My and probably your son!

When little Dan was two minutes old...

I tattooed it on his head.

- Does he know about this?

- No. Nor nobody else, neither.

That's why I kept him

in the cupboard for three years.

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Graham Chapman

Graham Arthur Chapman (8 January 1941 – 4 October 1989) was an English comedian, writer, actor, author and one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python. He played authority figures such as the Colonel and the lead role in two Python films, Holy Grail and Life of Brian. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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