Wonderful World Page #2
And when the nuclear
holocaust comes,
there'll be swarms of you
driving around in your S.U.V.s
- informing on each other.
- Park where it's legal!
Shut up.
So 8:
30, Friday, funny bone.Everyone's coming, right?
Cassie? Leon?
- Cassie?
- Yes.
Okay. Claire?
Funny bone, Friday?
You gotta come.
I rep a comic and he's
gonna be on at 10:00, so...
Who are you?
I'm The Man.
Are you God?
No, he deals with
the birds and beasties,
planetary alignments, quarks.
I just deal with
the human element.
Then I have a question.
Why are there soda machines
in schools?
Why is it all about
greed, agenda, money?
It is easier to
keep people in line
impulses than their best.
Now everyone has bad impulses?
Not everyone has
good ones.
Maxine, go get dressed.
Lucas, go get dressed for school.
Lucas?
Thank you.
Go get dressed, sweetie.
Hey. Look at this ass clown.
- Who is that?
- It's a guy I work with.
- In proofreading?
- Yeah.
Did you know that there's
a new study that says
cinnamon is good
for the heart?
I'm not listening. You're just
trying to get me off my game.
No no no, seriously, though,
dark chocolate lowers
the blood pressure,
tannins in red wine.
All the medicine we'll
ever need is in the food.
you will have cancer--
The doctor will make you a salad.
Hey, Ben, Cyril G. Here.
I'm going down the list,
and you're coming, right?
You got somewhere to go?
All right, I'll see you there!
He just needs a warm body.
But of course, the consumables
have their own perils--
Mercury in the fish, caffeine.
Maybe one food will
cure cancer, yeah?
But it also gives you M.S.
Your queen is trapped.
You ever wonder what the proctologist
thinks about before he goes to sleep?
- 'Cause the brain's a funny thing, you know?
- Ben.
- Ben. - If you've been spreading
ass cheeks open all day,
you know what the last thing is
you're gonna be thinking about
before you go to bed that night.
To tell you the truth,
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I hate stand-up comedy.
that you came, then.
That's a b*tch right there--
Proctologist.
You're the only ass clown
who showed up.
Those f***ers-- I can't believe it.
- Gynecologists.
- This is my guy.
Yeah, you won't regret you came.
He f***ing kills.
"Baby, dinner's ready."
And you go, "not tonight, baby.
I had a long hard day
looking at pussies."
I mean, they're coming at you
from all different angles.
It's like big bushy ones,
little bitty ones,
the little Hitler ones, shaved ones--
All of 'em.
It's like a big p*ssy parade.
The dude over here,
he's like--
he's like, "who, me?"
This is crazy.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Wonderful World" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/wonderful_world_23641>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In